Those children who are addicted to study are \”spoiled\” by their parents

Many parents try their best to educate their children. But the child is in a lethargic state, unable to cheer up for anything? \”Whenever we talk about their children\’s studies, many parents complain: \”My children get sleepy just after studying. They either drink water or their eyes are blank. \”I don\’t dare to help my children with homework because I\’m afraid my heart won\’t be able to bear it and I\’ll faint from anger.\” \”It\’s so difficult to make children learn consciously. I don\’t know what to do!\” \”In the environment of education involution, many parents tirelessly carry out \”high-intensity + utilitarian\” education in order to let their children win at the starting line: starting from elementary school, children\’s weekends and holidays are filled with various interest classes. Taking care of all the chores in the child\’s life, allowing the child to focus on learning; even installing a monitor in the child\’s room to monitor the child\’s learning. The consequence of this is that the child\’s enthusiasm for learning is often overdrawn in advance, making the child more and more miserable. Children who are highly motivated and \”addicted\” to learning often have parents who know how to \”pamper\” them. 01 Parents\’ love: It is the source of children\’s learning motivation. There was a hot topic on Weibo: \”Families with high fault tolerance rates.\” \”How happy you are\” has triggered a heated discussion on the Internet. There is a video collection on this topic. The parents in the video all have one thing in common, that is, when their children make mistakes, the parents do not lose control of their emotions, do not blame or complain, but actively calm their children\’s emotions. Encourage your children and find ways to solve problems. Many netizens in the comment area said that they are \”so envious\”. Children who grow up in this kind of family atmosphere will definitely be good in the future. Meng Linghao, a top student in Shandong, scored 711 in this year\’s college entrance examination. Can you imagine that such a super academic has never taken any tutoring classes? He grew up in a relaxed and free family atmosphere, and his parents were particularly \”loved\” by him. Before high school, Meng Linghao\’s His grades have always been average. Even if he failed in the exam, his parents gave him more encouragement and guidance. There were no strict requirements for his studies, and they did not force him to join any interest classes. After entering elementary school, Meng Linghao fell in love with La La. Cello, other children of the same age were forced to give up their artistic hobbies due to unstable grades, but Meng Linghao\’s parents always respected and supported his choice, allowing him to take care of his studies and interests at the same time, making him special in studies. Consciously, extraordinarily devoted, and finally counterattack as a dark horse. Daniel Pink said in the book \”Drive\”: \”A person will only have a strong internal drive if he has a strong desire to do something well. force. \”Dopamine is an important neurochemical transmitter for children to generate internal drive. Dopamine, also known as the \”motivation hormone\”, is distributed in the \”mesolimbic dopamine system\” in the cerebral cortex and is the most important reward mechanism nervous system. Effects in the brain include memory and learning abilities, as well as reward-seeking behavior. Low levels of dopamine in the body can lead to lower drive, lower effort levels, and the experience of boredom when dopamine is secreted optimally. Level, it is easy to enter the \”flow\” experience, be able to completely focus on it, and forget about time. A study shows that once adults and children are \”immersed\” in doing something, their brains willLevels of chemicals (including dopamine) increase, allowing for higher concentration, sharper thinking, and faster processing, as if the brain is activated. This is why academic masters can be immersed in learning and enjoy it endlessly. Children with poor concentration often cannot properly secrete and absorb dopamine in their brains in boring environments. If you want to improve your children\’s concentration on doing things, parents can start by increasing the dopamine levels in their children\’s brains. EEG biofeedback training EEG biofeedback training can empower the prefrontal lobes of our brains. By regulating children\’s brain waves, the abnormal theta waves can be reduced, the normal beta waves can be increased, or the various components of the brain waves can reach Optimize ratios to improve children\’s brain status and function, improving their concentration and control. 02 Pampering children: Parents must know how to let go. A sentence in \”Cognition Gap\”: \”Only by giving up the identity of parents can we be good parents. Many times, what children lack is not love, but boundaries.\” I deeply agree! There is such a girl in the variety show \”Teacher Please Answer\”. She studies very unconsciously and needs her parents to urge her to study every day. She either misses or writes less homework. After careful questioning, I discovered that it was never study that girls resisted, but the mother\’s control. It turns out that in addition to completing school homework every day, girls also have to complete a lot of additional homework assigned by their mothers. My spare time on weekends is also fully occupied by my mother. When her mother comes back from get off work every day, the first thing she says to her is: \”Have you finished your homework? Please report on your study today.\” If her daughter does not do her extracurricular homework, her mother will force her to finish it, even if her daughter has already fallen asleep, even if she has already It\’s 11 o\’clock at night. Parental interference often arouses children\’s resistance and rebellious emotions, destroys children\’s internal drive to learn, and also causes constant parent-child conflicts. This is also the reason why children who are forced and urged to learn will become less and less interested in learning.\” Regarding the issue of excessive parental control, the book \”Self-Driven Growth\” points out: Parents want to cultivate self-control in their children. To stimulate their inner motivation, they should regard themselves as their children\’s \”consultants\”. 01 When raising children, parents need to set boundaries. When children need to make decisions in life, parents should not influence their children\’s abilities. The decision made by oneself, outside the boundaries, gradually withdraws, leaving opportunities for the children to exercise. Changchang\’s mother in \”Young Voice\” never holds her daughter in her hands, rarely takes care of her daughter\’s life, and has always been ignored by her neighbors. Tucao is not my mother. When she first entered elementary school, she could make simple meals by herself. When she got older, she could cross the street, take the bus, and take the subway. When she was in fifth grade, she could go to the market to buy food on her own. No matter how heavy it is, she will carry it by herself. My mother talked about the original intention of doing this: \”I love her very much, and these are my protection for her. \”With clear boundaries between parents and children, children will be truly happy and the parent-child relationship will not be out of balance. 02 Provide children with the opportunity to make decisions. \”Hello, Child\” says: \”Parents should be their children\’s co-pilots and help their children look after them. Lu, command and direct, and be a coach on the side. But those who really master the steering wheel and drive should beThe child himself. \”Parents should learn to change their way of thinking, stop being anxious, stop worrying, let go of the desire to control, let their children go through hardships, and give them respect: caring but not interfering, taking care but not crossing the line. Let the children make their own decisions and master the rhythm of life and learning. , can better stimulate children\’s inner potential and enthusiasm for doing things. 03 Pampering children: It is not indulgence, but wisdom guidance. The \”pampering\” here is not unprincipled doting by parents, but giving children enough freedom and respect to let them. Find fun in learning and feel a sense of accomplishment: \”Parents should be \”captain-type parents\” who are full of care for their children and have a clear attitude; they should put forward constructive opinions at critical moments and help their children confidently and calmly. Responsible. \”01 When a child makes a mistake, empathize with the child\’s feelings. Educator Jia Rongtao once shared an experience. His son hit a child while riding a bicycle, which cost thousands of medical expenses. The child was psychologically frightened and did not dare to go home. Jia Rongtao After knowing this, he did not rush to criticize, but said to his son: \”I understand your current mood very well. In fact, you don\’t have to blame yourself too much. Who can not make a little mistake? I know you didn\’t mean it. Who would cause trouble to the family for no reason? \”Hearing his father\’s words, the son began to reflect on his mistake: \”If I had ridden slower, I could have bypassed the child and avoided this accident. \”Parents who know how to take care of their children\’s feelings will reach deep into their children\’s hearts. I like this sentence: Truly mature parents will not just think about dealing with their children\’s problems, but deal with their children\’s feelings first. 02 Do children have problems? Many parents use positive words to respond to good behavior. When faced with their children\’s bad behavior, their words are like hurtful weapons and hurt their children\’s self-esteem. Point out: When a child behaves badly, parents may wish to use positive language to guide him positively. Sometimes, parents can have unexpected educational effects by changing the way of expression. For example: \”I hate you talking back\”. Change it to \”I like you to calmly tell me what you think.\” Change \”You are so old and you can\’t pack your schoolbag.\” Change it to \”You have grown up, I believe you can pack your schoolbag.\” \”So stupid\” was changed to \”If you think one more step, you will be one step closer to success.\” 03 In the face of children\’s curiosity, encourage children to bravely try. The growth process of Facebook founder Zuckerberg well confirms this point. \” When Star Wars became a hit, Zuckerberg became obsessed with science fiction movies. He asked his father: \”Can I make a movie? \”The father responded to him happily: \”Then let\’s try it. \”My father spent a lot of money to buy a handheld camera for Zuckerberg. The machine was very heavy, so my father squeezed out his working time and took the initiative to help him carry the machine, and worked with his son to shoot Zuckerberg\’s first film in his life. Zuckerberg When I was 10 years old, I suddenly told my father that I was very interested in programming and wanted to learn programming. At that time, the Internet had just emerged, and it was simply impossible for a 10-year-old child to learn programming. Faced with Zuckerberg\’s novel ideas, my parents once again. Positive response: \”Let\’s try it.\” In this father\’s educational philosophy, as long as the child is interested,He can support whatever he is willing to try without doing anything to stop him. Later, Zuckerberg was admitted to Harvard University. Under the influence of his father, he used programming to create a social software and established his own Internet empire, which is also known as Facebook. Children who are full of curiosity are more likely to be interested in things around them and are more willing to explore, stimulating their interest in learning.