Psychologists point out that when children are young, children are more likely to be driven by extrinsic motivations; as they grow older, children are more and more susceptible to intrinsic motivations, that is, doing something because they like or love it. Therefore, parents must understand that it is normal for children to be inactive in hard study and other matters when they are young. If you want your children to be self-disciplined, they need to gradually turn to the drive of intrinsic motivation through the guidance of external motivation. It is said that a family’s education is more important than a school’s education. On the road of education, rather than making your child self-conscious, please give him just the right amount of control! 01 Don’t expect your children to be self-conscious as they grow up. Recently, games like “cigarette cards” have frequently appeared in the public eye. Some time ago, a parent of a third-grade student said that his child\’s grades have been declining due to this \”game\”. The original score of 22nd in the class dropped to 47th. Many parents have a no-care attitude at first, but they forget their children\’s self-control. You must know that when a child is growing up, the development of the prefrontal cortex of the brain (related to high-level functions such as decision-making and self-control) is not yet mature. This makes it difficult for children to effectively control their behavior when faced with temptations or challenges, showing unself-discipline. Therefore, parents should never expect their children to take the initiative when it comes to educating their children. You know, one visible discipline is worse than a thousand empty preachings. Professor Li Meijin once said: \”Self-discipline is not forced, but cultivated.\” Children\’s growth is a continuous and irreversible process. Each stage has its own specific psychological, physical and social developmental needs. If parents ignore these needs when their children are young and do not give them enough attention and support, then as the children grow older, their behavioral habits, personality traits and values may have been basically stereotyped, and they will become confused if they try to change them. Very difficult. 02 Visionary parents are a little ruthless. U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt once said: \”There is a quality that can make a person stand out from the mediocre people who do nothing. This quality is not talent, education, or IQ, but It’s self-discipline.” Previously, there was an 8-year-old child on the Internet who got up early every day and read in the morning, and he persisted for more than 400 days. Behind this self-discipline is not only the child\’s own efforts, but also the company of his parents. According to his mother, at the beginning, the children could not persist. Later, with their guidance, they continued this habit. You must know that children\’s self-discipline is not innate, but like a long stream of water, it gradually takes shape through careful cultivation. In this process, parents\’ careful guidance and just the right strict requirements are as indispensable and crucial as sunshine and rain to seedlings. They not only lay a solid foundation for children\’s growth, but also inspire their inner desire for self-management and progress, allowing the flowers of self-discipline to bloom with the nourishment of time. 03 Cultivate children’s consciousness as early as possible. Dr. Cheng Yue, an education expert, pointed out that children need to be fully guided correctly before the age of 3 to develop correct habits. As the age increases, the intensity of education should gradually weaken, and after the age of 9, more support should be given to children’s self-consciousness.Mainly develop to help them form good living and learning habits. Therefore, you must take care of your children as early as possible! Being a parent is far more than just meeting the material needs of your children. The more important mission is to carefully create a warm environment that promotes the healthy growth of your children and play the role of a wise guide. Through patient and meticulous guidance, we can stimulate children\’s inner potential and help them gradually build a solid foundation for self-discipline. 1. Establish clear goals and expectations. Based on the child\’s actual situation, work with the child to set specific, measurable, feasible and challenging goals. These goals should stimulate children\’s inner motivation and promote their growth. 2. Develop self-management skills and teach children how to effectively manage time, make reasonable plans, self-motivate, and be responsible for their own actions. Through practical exercises in daily life, parents can help their children gradually establish their awareness and ability of self-management, so that they can be more independent and efficient in future study and life. 3. Strengthen the sense of responsibility and consequences. Appropriately assign some housework tasks to children so that they can assume family responsibilities and understand the impact of their actions on the family. Increase responsibility by allowing children to experience natural consequences when they don\’t follow rules or complete tasks, such as being criticized by the teacher for forgetting to bring homework. 4. Stimulate inner motivation and interest and encourage exploration and experimentation. It can provide children with rich learning resources and environment, encourage children to explore freely, try new things, and discover their own interests. And pay attention to children\’s efforts and progress, not just the results, give them positive feedback and encouragement, and stimulate their inner motivation. 04 Written at the end: Self-discipline is not a beast in an iron cage that is driven out by a stick; it is more like a flower in a carefully cultivated garden, which naturally blooms its fragrance under the nourishment of sunshine, rain and dew. Just like a gardener patiently watering, weeding, and fertilizing, giving plants everything they need to grow, self-discipline is also nourished bit by bit through daily persistence, good habits, and inner awakening under the guidance of parents or oneself. It is not forced obedience under external pressure, but the pursuit and realization of a better self deep inside, and it is the inevitable result of self-growth. Never regard a child’s excellence as a result of talent, because behind every child’s excellence lies the hard work and unremitting efforts of their parents’ countless days and nights. It is these unknown contributions and companionship that pave the child’s solid path to success!
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