To raise a child to waste, start with \”You don\’t have to do anything!\”

The first semester of the new year is approaching, and kindergarten classes are about to burst into tears. First-year elementary school students are in a hurry to prepare stationery and pack school bags. If the children are young, the above-mentioned \”scenery\” is understandable, but the lively scene in the freshman dormitory where parents are happily busy buying daily necessities, making beds, and washing up will make people feel somewhat uncomfortable. …\”You just study hard, you don\’t have to do anything!\” How many parents are embarking on the road of raising useless children in the name of \”love\”. The child doesn’t do anything. The fault is that when the parents say “I want to do it”, you don’t let me do it! Why do you think I \”do nothing\” now? Every child was once a lovely child who wanted to work and loved working. They all had a strong motivation to take care of themselves, be independent and serve others. Children\’s desire to adapt to future social life through their own efforts has begun to emerge. However, what makes reality become: the two-year-old daughter wants to help make dumplings, the 20-year-old daughter waits for her mother to bring the food to the table; the two-year-old son wants to wash his own socks, and the 20-year-old son saves When a two-year-old child heard his mother say he was tired, he waved his little fist and said, \”Mom, I\’ll help you beat it.\” A 20-year-old child said, \”Mom, I\’m so tired, please help me beat it.\”… Why do children take their parents’ efforts for granted, and even exploit and take them out of them without any hesitation? Why do many college students get fired from their jobs if they don\’t agree with each other at work, and even think of themselves as \”masters\”? As the saying goes, \”Three-year-olds look older, seven-year-olds look older.\” The problems that children have when they grow up often originate from their childhood. Don’t regret it until your child becomes an adult. You must adapt to your child’s growth needs to take care of themselves, be independent, and serve others. Cultivate your child’s good habits of doing housework and loving labor from an early age. Don\’t forget that there is \”labor\” behind \”morality, intelligence, physical beauty\”. Only in this way can children truly develop in an all-round way. Children’s budding “independence” and “self-care” There is no parent who doesn’t love their children. The reason why many parents ignore or even deny their children\’s early desire to be \”independent\” and \”self-care\” is mostly because they do not understand the meaning behind this behavior. Failure to realize that a child\’s desire to eat on his own indicates that he wants to become a \”capable\” \”adult\” like his father and mother, and failure to understand that this is the first step for a child to take care of himself. Therefore, the child\’s behavior of grabbing spoons and chopsticks will be interpreted as \”making trouble\”. Therefore, the child will blame the child for leaving food all over the table, and blame the child for \”sincerely\” causing trouble. As everyone knows, the child\’s behavior is precisely because he wants to learn how to eat so as to cause less trouble to his parents. In the early years, as long as you have an insight into the child\’s needs and can provide certain support and encouragement, it is not difficult to cultivate a little life expert. For example, when a child is not tall enough to wash the dishes, he always wants to help wash the dishes. At this time, just let him try to start by washing his own plastic or stainless steel bowls and participate in housework activities. It can not only exercise children\’s self-service ability and acquire some basic survival skills through practice; it can also let children feel the understanding and trust from their parents, allowing them to truly feel that they are a member of the family. certainly, the child may be very slow at first and cannot be washed cleanly. It doesn\’t matter, just wash him secretly again. So when your child is rushing to sweep the floor or wipe the table, you might as well let go and give him the \”job\”. The significance of doing housework does not lie in the labor itself. Letting children do housework has so many benefits. There is no doubt that housework activities can improve children\’s housework skills. But the meaning of housework does not lie in the labor itself. The picture below is the iceberg model proposed by the famous American psychologist McClelland in 1973. Using the metaphor of an iceberg for each of us, part of us is the \”top part\” of the iceberg that is visible and easily observed by others, and part of us is the \”base\” of the iceberg that is hidden deep under the water and is not easily discovered. Although the knowledge and skills on the top of the iceberg are easily detectable, they are limited by the firmness of the base of the iceberg. If a child\’s social role awareness, self-awareness, personality traits and behavioral motivations are poorly constructed, then knowledge and skills will become rootless and it will be difficult to truly and permanently show advantages. On the contrary, those parts of knowledge and skills that rely on learning and training are very easy to learn when children mature mentally. Therefore, laying the foundation of the iceberg in four aspects early will become a key factor affecting a child\’s future development. 1 Form a positive self-awareness: I am very capable! It may seem like \”tiring\” work for children, but what they gain is a full sense of competence and happiness, and a positive self-awareness. As the saying goes, it builds \”confidence.\” \”Growing up\” in the eyes of children means being like father and mother, and what is the image of father and mother in the eyes of children? Being able to cook, wash dishes, and wash clothes, and control your own life freely, that is, \”housework\” is an important and very important content. So, don’t think that your child will feel tired, on the contrary, he enjoys it! When he successfully cleans the floor, the child will gain a sense of competence, \”I am very capable!\” This is the source of the child\’s positive self-awareness. 1 Gradually realize your role: who am I and what can I do! The family is the first place for children to live in society. Participating in housework can help children realize their status and role in the family; realize that I am a member of the family and what I can do to help the family. When your child is young, you can choose one or two housework activities that interest him and entrust them to him. During the process, I must constantly remind him to persist and gradually develop the child\’s sense of responsibility. This is my responsibility. For example, you can let your children be responsible for feeding the fish every day, or tidying up the tables and chairs after eating, and then gradually expand to other household chores as their abilities improve. In fact, on-duty students in kindergartens and primary schools are helping children understand their relationships with others and society, and feel their social roles. Children naturally develop a sense of responsibility during these activities. 1 Ability formed by doing housework: Cultivating an optimistic and helpful personality will help you take care of your own life. Children who can do housework will also be more optimistic. For example, children with strong separation anxiety in small kindergarten classes often have weak self-care abilities. For example, you can’t eat by yourself, or you can’tThey have to put on and take off clothes and go to the toilet, so they feel even more helpless when facing unfamiliar environments. On the contrary, if a child already knows these things, he will naturally be able to solve problems by himself when faced with a teacher taking care of dozens of children. You will have a better sense of control over the environment, you will not feel a lot of fear, you will be better able to integrate into the group, and your personality will naturally be more cheerful and optimistic. Of course, if a child has strong abilities, either he or the teacher will ask him to help others, and it will be easier for the child to establish the awareness and habit of \”I can help others.\” Therefore, it seems that children’s housework is not important, but it is closely related to their positive and optimistic personality characteristics. 1 From \”I can do it\” to \”I want to do it\” helps the formation of internal motivation. There are always some people around us who are proactive in doing things, especially those with \”sightedness\”. Many things have been done on their own initiative without being told. But there are also some people who are passive in doing things, always \”waiting\”, \”relying\” and \”demanding\” at work, moving after being asked, or even moving after saying a few times. In fact, this is not entirely a problem of EQ, but rather represents a behavioral habit, which is manifested as a specific motivation for behavior. People who \”wait\”, \”depend\” and \”want\” lack the internal motivation to behave and rely entirely on others\’ requirements to do things. A proactive person \”has a good eye for work\” and is willing to take the initiative to do it. It is precisely this \”willingness\” that makes him see work. This behavioral habit gradually forms a proactive style of doing things, making them more popular and popular with people around them in life and work. In fact, there are many things that children can do: such as placing bowls, dividing spoons, clearing the table before and after meals, cleaning the house, making beds, and feeding pets. Through these activities, children can gradually transition from serving themselves to serving their family, the collective, and society, and grow into a cheerful, positive, confident, and responsible person.