To the naughty kid: Why should I rely on you?

Xuetang Jun: Recently there was a story about a naughty child grabbing an egg roll from a stranger on the subway. The parent actually told the child: Ask for it after eating. Xuetangjun was also shocked. Today I just want to talk about this topic. Although they are in the minority, even if they meet one, they feel like they have met one of the \”best\” and they can complain for years~ As a negative example, keep reminding yourself, don\’t be like this Parents, please don’t let your children become so disgusting. I met and chatted with a friend who is a kindergarten teacher, and the topic naturally turned to children. She said that there is a little girl in her class who loves to take public items in the class, such as small toys, crayons, and even cooling oil. Once she gets her hands on it, it is difficult for her to put it back. This makes the teacher They have a headache. No matter how the teachers tried to persuade her or even criticized her harshly, this little girl of five or six years old insisted on taking the class items home. Moreover, this child will also find ways to \”ask\” things from the teacher, and the methods are also very straightforward, such as \”Teacher, can you give me this pendant of yours?\” This makes the teacher dumbfounded and helpless. I asked: How is this girl’s family situation? What are the parents like? A friend exclaimed: Family situation? Well done! Speaking of which, my father is a doctor and my mother is a primary school teacher! But I really don’t know how to raise such a child. I laughed: Parents’ occupation and cultural level have little to do with their children’s educational achievements. Some parents may not know a word, but they can still teach outstanding children. Some parents may be knowledgeable, educated or even professional. Poor parenting skills may also teach children to go astray. The friend sighed: Yes! I once mentioned this matter to the child\’s parents tactfully, but the mother didn\’t care and said to me a little proudly: Yes, this child is like this! When I see something I like, I want to take it back! There is no shortage of these at home. After I finished speaking, I laughed and said nothing more. The child still likes to take things from the class as always, and will cry if they are not taken away from her. I\’ve seen similar kids too. Once, I invited a friend to dinner, and she brought her 8-year-old son. We originally agreed to invite them to a hotpot, and when we met, the child suddenly made a request to me to eat Japanese food, and asked me to go to a certain restaurant by name. My friend looked at me and said to the child, \”You can\’t do this. Didn\’t we just eat Japanese food last week?\” The child seemed to be unwilling to give up until he reached his goal, and ignored his mother. He curled his lips and burst into tears. Staring at me: Auntie, I want to eat Japanese food! I was stunned. Although I was not mentally prepared (the price of the Japanese food he mentioned was several times that of hot pot), I still politely agreed: Yes! My friend looked at me with a smile: You, you just let him go too much! Then, he nodded the child\’s head with a smile and said: \”Look! Auntie agreed! Are you happy?\” I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart. Although it was nothing on the surface, I kept thinking in my heart: If it is my child, How could I allow my own child to make such a request? Even if others agree to the child\’s request, I can\’t agree! After a few bites of that meal, the child lost interest and clamored to go play in the children\’s playground not far away. His motherI rejected him, but he had an idea and stood next to me, and his little mouth curled up: Auntie, I want to play with that car! No coins! I took out a few coins and gave them to him to play with. His mother ate them without raising her head and said: \”Ignore him!\” The child got the coin and ran away to play like a gust of wind. The child\’s mother looked at the child\’s back and smiled at me: I can\’t control this child! After a while, the child played with all the coins and walked directly to me: Auntie, there are no more coins. I had no choice but to give him all the coins I could find. This time, his mother just looked at him with a smile, scolded him for a few words: \”You really let him go too much,\” and then nothing more happened. When such children grow up, they become parents who look like their parents, breeding the next generation of naughty children, and asking questions with confidence… A few days ago, I posted a photo of my son wearing a new hat on Moments. , the hat was hand-knitted by my mother, the style is very cute. Many people expressed their love for this hat in the comments and praised my mother\’s craftsmanship. Someone said: I immediately went to a certain store to buy a similar one for my child. A friend who is not very close to me said in the comments: My daughter likes this hat very much and asked me to tell you to ask your mother to knit one for her! I thought about it and declined politely: My mother\’s lumbar and cervical vertebrae are not good and she has presbyopia, so I can\’t bear to make her suffer anymore! This friend didn\’t speak anymore, but later I discovered that in the past, she would comment or like any post I posted on Moments, but since then, she has disappeared from my Moments. Even if I wrote comments on the Moments she posted, she No more replies. No matter how stupid I am, I understand that she seems to have a problem with me! Although I was puzzled for a while, thinking about it, I didn\’t do anything wrong. She and her children think that knitting a hat is a piece of cake for my mother, but this is not the case. Even if this is the case, why should I rely on her and her daughter? If she no longer regards me as a friend because of my rejection, I have no regrets. Putting myself in my shoes, if my child takes a fancy to someone else\’s hat and asks me to ask someone to knit one for me, I will definitely say to the child: Mommy can buy you one. But we should not cause trouble to others, because weaving is very time-consuming and energy-consuming. If you make demands on others, you will be unhappy if others do not agree; but if others agree, they may be unhappy or embarrassed. I believe that children will not be unreasonable. This taken-for-granted mentality was vividly demonstrated in the Bali incident. On November 21, the Mount Agung volcano in Bali erupted, causing the emergency closure of the airport only 60 kilometers away from the volcano. A large number of flights were canceled and nearly 120,000 passengers were stranded at the airport, including more than 10,000 Chinese tourists. The indefinite closure of the airport, the fear of disaster, and the fact that businesses took the opportunity to charge exorbitant prices, doubled the cost of food and accommodation, made people nervous, and the airport was filled with desperate people. After learning that the Chinese people were trapped, the motherland immediately dispatched dozens of commercial flights and assisted 16,000 passengers to return home within 5 days. While passengers from other countries were still desperate for help at the airport, Chinese passengers had landed safely. This made people applaud their motherland. However, among the praise, some people said a very sour word: \”We bought the tickets ourselves.\” .\”This evacuation of tens of thousands of people is indeed not free, but the country has done a lot of coordination and stabilized air ticket prices. Previously, the Chinese Embassy in Indonesia has repeatedly reminded Chinese tourists that Bali is not suitable to visit in the near future. Some people ignore warnings and if something happens, the country should send me home for free. This kind of thing you do by yourself is so justified and \”reaching out\”. After all, no one has the obligation to rely on you. I think of one time, my husband I took my son to the amusement park to play. When I got home, the child had a very small and old toy in his hand. My mother asked the child where the toy came from, and the child explained: In the amusement park, he saw a small toy on a stand. Yes, my father said that other children had probably forgotten it, and no one had asked for it for a long time. He said that I could take it. My mother, who was always gentle to her children, put down her housework and said to my son seriously: I don’t want it if someone else left it there. Things that belong to others are also other people\’s things, you can\’t take them! You can find the owner and return them to others, or hand them over to the service desk of the playground instead of taking them for yourself! Being easy-going, my mother criticized my husband again: You are an adult , you know the difference, but the child does not. If you let him take this little thing today, tomorrow, he may think that he can take whatever others put there, and the day after tomorrow, he may go and ask for things from others! The child is young , issues of principle cannot be specious. My husband explained in a low voice at first: He said he really wanted to play, and indeed no one wanted it at first glance… My mother said: As a parent, you can tell your children what they want to do and what they want. Do you have to let it go? He is old enough. You can tell him that we can\’t just take things that are not ours. I believe that the child will not mess with you. If not, you can promise to give him the same toy if you see it. He bought one! The husband was ashamed and stopped making excuses. The child understood what grandma said and told grandma seriously: I know! Neither my father nor I are right about this. We can’t take other people’s things and we can’t take them casually! I The mother hugged the child tenderly and said: From now on, if you want anything, you can tell your parents and grandparents, but you can\’t take other people\’s things, and you can\’t ask for them from others. You can\’t be casual with others just because you are a child. Make a request, and when you grow up, if you want anything, work hard to get it! I listened on the sidelines, and I deeply agreed. I thought of the Internet article \”To the Bitch: I\’m a Bitch\” that made Mi Meng become famous overnight. \”How can I help you?\” The article lists some \”helpers\” who randomly ask her for free \”soft articles\”, free manuscripts, etc. Once she refuses, the other party will be very angry, thinking that this is a \”little effort\”, why can\’t she give it? Why can\’t you help? Aren\’t the children who take class items and the children who ask others to buy expensive food just annoying \”hand-in-hand people\”? And what kind of parents will educate children who are \”hand-in-hand people\”? ? It is not difficult to find that even if these parents do not have the problem of \”reaching out\”, at least they are absolutely unaware of how hateful this problem is in their children. Their indifferent attitude acquiesces or even condones their children. Some parents are even secretly laughing. , look how smart my children are, they know how to find ways to ask for what they want since they were young.When you grow up, you don’t have to worry about your life. They may also think that the child is still young, so the child also feels this and uses his identity as a \”child\” to ask for things that should not belong to him. When these children use their status as \”children\” to ask for something from others, once someone refuses, the parents will react. For example, my female colleague and best friend\’s 17-year-old child asked her for money. When she gave it, her best friend With an indifferent attitude, when she no longer wanted to give money to the child, her best friend\’s attitude became subtle, and there was no match for her. Although not all children are annoying \”reachers\”, there are some truths in this regard that every parent should let their children understand: public items in public places cannot be kept for themselves. Any material or financial requirements can only be raised with parents. Other than that, they can only be raised by others who take the initiative to ask. You cannot ask for items in other people\’s homes, cars, or belongings unless they offer to give them to you. Try not to make any requests that cause trouble or embarrass others. The identity of \”child\” must not be a reason to \”reach out\” to others. Well, even if these are not important, parents at least understand one thing: they have to be responsible for their own children! If a child acts as a \”hand-in-hand party\” and asks for things that others should not want, or makes demands that should not be made to others, and others agree out of mercy, parents can educate them in person or criticize them severely behind the scenes. You have to make your children understand: Children, others have no obligation to rely on you! When a child becomes a \”hand-out party\”, the most annoying thing is not the child, but the child\’s parents.