Two months after giving birth to my second child, I was slapped so hard that my face hurt.

The day before yesterday, 520, when everyone was posting their love and happiness on WeChat Moments, my family was in an uproar. What happened was this: I woke up at noon, it was already 3 o\’clock, and saw Rooney still watching TV (started watching at 12 noon), I immediately stepped forward and turned off the TV, and said angrily: \”You have been watching for so long again. , stop watching!\” Rooney was also angry: \”I\’m so bored and you don\’t let me watch TV, then you take me to XX (classmate)\’s house!\” I watched it late and didn\’t make an appointment in advance. After a while, my brother When he woke up and wanted to nurse, he didn\’t agree, so he started to make trouble. At first, it was still in a pleading tone, but when he saw that I had no intention of changing at all, he got angry! The voice became louder and the emotion became more and more agitated. He roared and angrily threw all the toys, newspapers, remote controls, etc. on the table to the ground. Seeing him going crazy, I felt exhausted mentally and physically, unable to resist, and slumped down on the chair… Rooney has always been a very sensible child. After he was pregnant with his second child, he often said to me: \”Mom, I will definitely help you.\” Take care of the baby!\” Knowing that I wanted a sister, he ran to the window, clasped his hands together, and prayed to the sky: \”God, please bless me that the baby in my belly is a sister!\” After doing a B-ultrasound, he found out that he was a younger brother. He said: \”My brother is also very good. From now on, I can give him all my clothes and toys, so he doesn\’t need to buy any more.\” I often praise him for being a good brother, and I often describe to him the various benefits of having a younger brother. , for example, you have one more person to love you, your younger brother can play with you, he can be your student, etc. I thought I had done enough ideological work for him, and coupled with his natural love for children, I was not worried at all about the negative impact the birth of his younger brother would have on him. I often imagine him helping me take care of my younger brother, which is warm and beautiful. In the first month after his brother was born, this was indeed the case. He showed that he loved his brother very much. When I come back from school every day, the first thing I do is to go into the house to see my brother, hold my brother in my arms and kiss my face, and help me get diapers and hand over clothes. He often looked at his little brother\’s little face and said with great affection: \”Mom, my brother is so cute!\” But I didn\’t expect that dark clouds had quietly gathered and a storm was coming. After the full moon, he slowly ignored his brother and became very annoying. First, I made trouble buying toys every day. If I didn\’t agree, he would stalk me and keep making trouble. When he got tired of playing with toys, he began to complain that he was bored again and clamored to go to his classmates\’ houses to play with them every day. At night, he tried to force me to sleep with him in various ways, so that in addition to waking up to feed my brother and change his diaper, I also had to scratch him. I was annoyed to death by him. Sometimes I wished that he would stay in the kindergarten and never come back. I even often yelled at him. This situation lasted for two or three weeks, and finally the incident at the beginning broke out. That night, he was sleeping next to me, and in a daze, I heard him say something in his sleep: \”Mom, do you not love me anymore?\” I felt heartbroken and almost shed tears. It turned out that this was what he had been worried about in his little heart! He keeps making trouble, but he is actually confirming to me again and again: after having a younger brother, do I still love him? I remembered that before I gave birth to my second child, I heard that my friend often complained about her family’s elders.After the birth of the second child, she was troubled by all the unreasonable things the eldest child did. I told her that the eldest child was jealous. You should spend more time with him. Don\’t ignore the eldest child because of the second child! Fortunately, I often give advice to others like a parenting expert, but I don’t realize it happened to me. Thinking of this, I felt like my face was being slapped so hard that it hurt. Slogans are meant to be shouted, but when implemented, when it happens to oneself, the authorities are confused. I think back then, after giving birth to Rooney, I never thought about having another baby. I gave all my energy and love to him. I often stare at him intently and greedily, thinking: Baby, you are the person I love most in the world. I really can’t imagine that I will love another child as much as I love you. However, after my brother was born, my time and energy were completely occupied by this little baby who could not speak. Because I don’t want my mother to be too tired, apart from housework such as washing and cooking, I basically do all the baby care myself. During the day, feed every hour or two, change diapers, hold her to sleep, bathe, touch, do passive exercises, read… At night, wake up at least three times to feed and change diapers. Sometimes, while my brother is asleep, I play games with Rooney in the living room, but I have to keep an eye on what\’s going on in the room. When I hear my brother crying, I immediately interrupt the game and run to the room. Sometimes, after finally coaxing his brother to sleep and putting him on the bed, Rooney yells, and his brother is immediately woken up, and he inevitably glares and scolds Rooney. Sometimes, I hold my brother in my arms and look at the baby\’s pink and chubby face like I did before, feeling love and affection. I can\’t help but kiss him again and again. I don\’t even realize that Rooney is calling me outside. I have to admit that my love for this little baby is no less than my love for Rooney. Thinking of this, I gradually understood Rooney\’s various unreasonable behaviors during this period. He was seeking our attention with this! But I realized belatedly that when he was making noises about buying toys, I just thought about not spoiling him. I adhered to my so-called principles and refused to buy them for him even if he was rolling around on the ground. When he was making noises about going to his classmate\’s house, I only blamed him for being ignorant, but forgot that what he needed most was my company. When a child is least lovable, it is often when he needs love the most. As a parent, if you only see the surface bad behavior of your child and fail to detect the psychological needs behind it, you will fall into an endless power struggle with your child. No matter how much parenting theory you learn, without practice, it is all just talk. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn. The advantage of understanding parenting theory is that when you actually encounter a problem, you can detect and reflect on it in time and make relatively correct decisions. In this way, in the process of problem-reflection-solution again and again, we will become better and better.