Unforgettable regret: The educational warning brought to me by student suicide

One day after the junior high school entrance exam, I was patrolling the classroom when I suddenly heard a burst of crying. Following the cry, I found Xiaoli, who was sitting in the first row and was much shorter than other students. I quickly walked up to her to ask why, and saw her face full of tears, sobbing and saying: \”Teacher, you are so kind to me… I am not good at studying. I have been sitting in the last row in elementary school for many years… But I have fallen too far behind…I can\’t catch up…\” In her intermittent and incoherent narration, I seemed to understand the reason for her crying. On the one hand, she was eager to prove herself with her grades; on the other hand, she was afraid that she would be moved to the last row because of her poor grades. In fact, through her admission scores and usual performance in class, I already knew that her foundation was very weak, and it would be a long way to go to catch up with other students in the class. I comforted her: \”It\’s not terrible to lag behind others temporarily in academic performance. It\’s like long-distance running. The key is perseverance. As long as you work hard and make a little progress every day, you will get closer and closer to the finish line. And you don\’t always have to Compare your own shortcomings with the strengths of others. My music teacher often praises you for having a good voice and singing very beautifully. \”My understanding and encouragement made Xiaoli feel energetic.\” Looking at Xiaoli\’s thin back running away happily, another frail face emerged in my mind… When I first joined the job, when I changed from a student to a teacher, the fractional theory thinking that had been ingrained in my bones for a long time came to my mind. Coupled with the eagerness to prove my personal ability through scores, all I see and think about are students\’ scores and my teaching performance. Therefore, I make it my first priority to pay close attention to students\’ academic performance. In order to improve students\’ performance, I go early and come back late every day. I don\’t even miss ten minutes between classes. I race against time to go deep into the classroom to tutor students on exercises and check their dictation. I severely punished students who did not meet my requirements, suspended physical education classes, arranged seats according to scores for each monthly exam, and contacted parents… With my unremitting efforts, students achieved outstanding results. In the regional education system, my reputation grew, and many parents even tried their best to send their children to my class. Leading classes one term after another, the students’ excellent academic performance, and the wide acceptance and recognition from parents, schools and society make me feel so good. As everyone knows, this kind of education that trains students to be scoring machines without warmth made me go further and further away from the original intention of education, until Jing Wenyu committed suicide… From the discussions of people in the small town, I learned that The reason why Yu committed suicide. After Yu entered high school, his mother, who was far away from home, came back to rent a house near the school to accompany her to school. However, Yu had always felt resentful towards his mother who had left him since childhood. That day, because Yu wanted to play games and his mother wanted him to make up classes, the two had an argument… Thinking that the student who had been with him day and night for three years ended his life in such an extreme way at the same age as Hua\’er, I was shocked. , I couldn’t bear to part with it. In the days after Zaiyu left, the scenes of my interactions with Yu often appeared in my mind. Yu wears a pair of small glasses and has a bookish air. Before I entered junior high school, I heard about him from my primary school teacher.He is smart, likes to play online games, and is very addicted to the Internet. Not long after school started, I realized the extent of Yu’s Internet addiction. Especially when I went to the Internet cafe for two days on weekends and couldn\’t hand in my homework on Monday, I used various excuses to lie. To this end, I have also contacted parents to cooperate. In the process, I learned that Yu’s parents were divorced, his mother married away from home, and his father moved away from home. He had been living with his elderly and sick grandparents since he was 5 years old. Shocked to hear of Yu\’s death, former classmates invariably recalled the young Yu in their original class QQ group. Some classmates said that Yu was very kind and attentive. When he saw that his school uniform pants were short and leaked around his ankles, he insisted on giving him his extra piece to wear. Some classmates said that when Yu was chatting with him on the first day of junior high school, he used \” \”Magical\” describes his family where his parents, aunts and uncles are all divorced, and he laughed with tears in his eyes after saying this. Some classmates said that Yu once tried to break his Internet addiction by enrolling in extracurricular classes on weekends, winter and summer vacations; some classmates told me that every day When it was my birthday, Yudu secretly wished me a happy birthday on QQ space, saying that when he grows up and makes money, he would buy me a large bouquet of flowers and personally wish the teacher a happy birthday… Hearing this, I burst into tears and felt guilty. Incessantly. Thinking about the three years that I have been with Yu, I, who was the top student in terms of grades, always pursued Yu in a short-term and tough way when he was surfing the Internet and failing to complete the tasks assigned by the teachers. After passing the high school entrance examination, Yu was finally promoted to the provincial model middle school with excellent results. For this, I was ecstatic for a while. However, Yu\’s leap made these achievements and honors seem so pale and ironic. In the midst of self-blame and regret, I began to explore Yu\’s mental journey. I borrowed a student\’s QQ account to enter Yu\’s space. The last update was fixed a few hours before his death. He used a goodbye expression to communicate with his classmates, friends and classmates. Farewell to the world. With tears streaming down my face, I read through all of Yu’s space messages. Through Yu’s few words, I understood that he was lonely and helpless when he was growing up, and could only rely on online games to relieve his worries. As a teacher at that time, I did not provide him with any outlet for venting, and I never tried my best to get into his heart, nor did I guide him to appreciate more life scenery from a broad space, so that he could realize the truth in his incomplete life. The value of life… The bloody lessons made me learn from the pain. I began to examine my narrow understanding of education, think about what real education is, and what are the responsibilities of teachers… Our education faces each and every living person. For every student in school, it is important to teach him to learn, but it is even more important to cultivate a healthy body and a sound personality, because these are the cornerstones of his long life in the future. The relationship between teachers and students should not just be cold and without warmth, but should be full of love and warmth. The teacher\’s responsibility should be to use his or her professional qualities and skills to convey warmth and warmth, ignite students\’ passion for learning and life dreams, and broaden the height and thickness of their lives. This is the pain buried deep in my heart that I have never let go of, and it has never been easily revealed to others; this is the unforgettable mistake I have made in my career that cannot be made up, and I have never dared to forget it easily. After many years, I look back on the past and write about it, hoping to redeem myself and warn future generations. in teachersIn your career, you will definitely encounter children like Xiaoli and Yu. Their names and appearances are very different, and the problems that appear on them cannot be the same. However, when facing these children, we educators must not be eager for quick success. , we must teach and educate people with warmth and protect students\’ happiness in life.