Unhappy mothers are so destructive to their children…

While I was cleaning at home, I suddenly received a call from my head teacher. \”Mother It’s impossible to get rid of his skin! I have lost count of how many calls I have received like this. Every time I go to apologize to the other person’s parents and wipe their butt. Why are other people\’s children so well-behaved and sensible, but my child is like a \”devil\” with poor grades and causing me so much trouble every time? It\’s really not worrying. He has been well-clothed and well-fed since he was a child, and he has been in cram schools, specialty classes, and interest development classes. He has not fallen behind in everything. I have spent a lot of money and energy on him over the years, but I can\’t see any hope. , I really don’t know how other parents can raise their children so well, but they can’t do it here… On the way to school in a hurry, I suddenly looked up and saw a public service advertisement on the bus. The advertisement was roughly The content says: Children are gifts given to us by God. Each child is the seed of a flower, but the flowering period is different. Some flowers bloom brilliantly from the beginning; some flowers require a long wait. Don\’t look at others in full bloom and get anxious before your own blossoms. Please believe that all flowers have their blooming period. Care for your flowers carefully, watch them grow up slowly, and accompany them to bathe in the sunshine and wind and rain. Isn\’t this a kind of happiness? Believe the child! Waiting for the flowers to bloom! Maybe your seeds will never bloom… because he is a towering tree! This advertisement deeply affected me. I think maybe I should be more patient and wait for my child to bloom. When I arrived at school, the parents of the other child were already there. My son was hiding in the corner of the teacher\’s office with his head down and silent. I apologized and said good things to the other parent as usual. Fortunately, the other child\’s injury was not serious and the other parent was reasonable. People don\’t care about it. After the other parent left, he yelled at his son as usual, and I suddenly held back. The advertisement just now appeared in my mind. I tried my best to suppress my emotions and walked calmly to my son. I touched his head and said to him, \”Little rascal, let\’s go home!\” My son was suddenly surprised and looked at me with astonished eyes. After a while, he became trembling and walked out of school with me. It was obvious that he was still very nervous. There was a vendor selling steamed buns from a cart in front of the school. I asked my son what he wanted to eat, but he remained silent and looked at me with wide eyes curiously. I bought him one of his favorite red bean paste buns. My son was chewing bean paste buns and suddenly asked me: \”Mom, won\’t you hit me or scold me today?\” I looked back at my son like a frightened bird. I felt cute and distressed. I smiled at him and said to him: \”From now on, mommy won\’t hit you or scold you, okay?\” \”Why?\” \”Because mommy just discovered today that she really loves you.\” I don\’t know if my son understood, but he hummed nervously. ofHis expression began to relax, as if a stone in his heart had finally fallen to the ground. The spring sunshine is very warm, the camphor trees on both sides of the street are sprouting buds, and the breeze blows the yellow camphor leaves all over the street. My son, who was following me closely all the way, suddenly asked me: \”Mom, why do you think people should live?\” My heart suddenly skipped a beat. This question should not be asked at his age. What does this child think about all day long? I said perfunctorily to him: \”Because people are happy when they are alive, but it is painful when they die!\” \”Mom, are you happy when you are alive?\” My son chased after me. Am I living happily? My son\’s words suddenly woke me up. There are endless housework, and my husband always carries his mobile phone and computer when he comes home from work. I raised the two children by myself, and my mother-in-law and husband never helped me. The older one, the younger one, made the house a mess every time. Everything touches my sensitive nerves and makes me furious. Am I happy? I am not happy! Over the years, I have been depressed, emotionally turbulent, and prone to overeating. When I look at my obese self in the mirror, I often feel strange. Is this still the same me back then? Where did that sunny and pretty girl go? Most of the time when I\’m in a bad mood, I like to let my two children watch cartoons without restraint. The two children often fight and cry over each other to watch their favorite cartoons, and each time they get yelled at by me. My words were extremely harsh… It seemed that I was always in a state of anger. I was either yelling at my children for their little mistakes, or getting angry at my husband who left early and came home late. In the end, they all gradually moved away from me, for fear that something would offend me and change in front of me. You have to be careful… I am the one who accompanies the child the most. I don’t know when the smile gradually disappeared from my face. Every time I am in front of him, I always look full of resentment, and these negative energies have become serious invisibly. It affects the children. I haven’t seen my child’s hearty smile for a long time. Every time he is with me, he takes care of my mood. As long as I am unhappy, he will also be unhappy. As if I was struck by electricity, I suddenly understood the truth: How can an unhappy mother have a happy child? Yes, my own life is so sloppy, how can my children have poetry and distance? I\’m not happy, how can my children be happy? I couldn\’t sleep that night, not only for my children, but also for myself. I thought about it all night, and I finally figured out where the source of my unhappiness lies. It\’s because I\’m not confident, and it\’s because all my focus is on my family. These are the people I can rely on, and the people I\’m afraid of losing. Because I was afraid of losing them, I could only choose to keep testing them by losing my temper in order to gain a moment of inner peace. Later, after several in-depth discussions with my husband, I handed over all the housework at home to a housekeeping service company, signed up for a yoga class to lose weight, and signed up for a photographer training class to learn photography. I wanted to regain my confidence and my dream. As a photographer traveling among famous mountains and rivers, I longed for my work to be published in National Geographic magazine. Dream is a wonderful thing, it makes the person who owns it happyHappy and radiant. Soon, a long-lost smile appeared on my face, and my child became very happy under my influence. He would hum a little tune every time he came home from school, and my husband also praised me for getting more and more beautiful… Later, my son said: I said, \”Mom, do you know why I always fight with my classmates before? Because they like to scold others when they have conflicts, especially scolding other people\’s mothers. I can tolerate scolding, but I can\’t tolerate scolding you!\” I said He hugged the child and burst into tears instantly. I am so important in my child\’s heart, but I always vent my temper on him. How stupid I am! Fortunately, my child\’s grades are gradually getting better now, and he also likes to make friends with others. If my previous state had continued, the consequences would be really disastrous! Mom is unhappy, do you dare to be happy? Every time I ask myself this question countless times in my mind. When I was young, every time I saw my mother unhappy, I would become unhappy myself. The good mood I had for the day was wiped out when I came home and saw an unhappy mother. At that time, I thought that if I were happy, it would be the biggest betrayal to my mother. This thought rooted in my heart will never be erased for the rest of my life. It is like a kite, with the mother holding the string at the end. No matter how high or far the kite flies, once the mother is unhappy, the kite will break the string in an instant and fall from the sky. Zhang Ailing\’s mother was an unhappy mother. She once described her mother like this: \”She was always unhappy when she woke up. She only became happy after playing with me for a long time.\”. Her mother had tortured her all her life, from love to hatred, to hatred to fear, which ultimately led to her not even daring to have children. Such a wise and independent woman could not escape the influence of her mother\’s unhappiness in the end. There are also countless students around me who carry the genes of depression, autism, and schizophrenia. They often live with unhappy parents. It is their parents who did not teach them love, and their parents did not tell them what happiness is. It\’s the parents who don\’t let themselves be happy and become role models for them! Children need role models, they need to know what happiness is, and they need to see a real example of happiness. What is the best education? It is parents who truly love themselves and live truly happily, which slowly affects their children and makes them believe that they will also live happily in the future! In this way, the child will be able to be a happy child with peace of mind, and then he will be able to study with peace of mind, and thus find happiness in learning, instead of thinking about helping his parents bear the pain in the early grades! Real education is not to sacrifice all your time and energy to accompany your children but live an unhappy life, but to live in the present and strive to do interesting and interesting things that you like to do, so that your heart is filled with joy and makes your children happy. Now, spend every day in the way you like, so that you can become a happy adult and influence your children. Just like one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, one soul awakens another soul. Educating children is actually a dojo, where you need to constantly improve yourself and cultivate yourself. For children,For your own sake, please be a happy mother and live your most wonderful life!