Vision and structure are the greatest wealth left to children

I recently watched the new drama \”Dangal\” by Indian national treasure Aamir Khan. The film is adapted from real people. The story is not complicated. A father who holds a national wrestling championship title only hopes that his wife can give birth to a son so that he can continue his dream of becoming a champion. God was playing a trick on him. He gave birth to four daughters in a row, and saw his wrestling dream shattered. However, when the eldest daughter and the second daughter grew up, their father discovered the wrestling talent they inherited from their father. So the father regrouped and determined to break through the restrictions of secular concepts, economic conditions, training conditions, etc., and train his daughter to move from a small village to the world wrestling stage step by step. After watching the movie, many people commented: This movie has a wrong outlook. In the movie, the father is autocratic and imposes his life dreams on his daughter. Really? This reminds me of the story of the fisherman and the rich man: There was a fisherman in rags, lying on the beach basking in the sun with nothing to do. The rich man who was walking on the same beach and thinking saw the fisherman, so he stepped forward and asked puzzledly: \”What are you wearing?\” It\’s so shabby, how can you have time to bask in the sun here? The fisherman asked: What would you do if you were me? The rich man answered without hesitation: I will go fishing, sell it, catch more fish, save enough money to buy a fishing boat, catch more fish, and make more money. The fisherman was unmoved: What about the end? The rich man was a little confused by the question: Finally, finally, you can bask in the sun on the beach. The fisherman was overjoyed after hearing this: So what do you think I am doing now? When I was young, I was easily influenced by the fisherman\’s suggestions. Why should I wake up early and work hard at night? In the end, aren\’t we all the same? Growing up, I saw two types of parents in fishermen and rich men. Parents like fishermen: their vision is limited, they only care about immediate gains, they only covet a glimmer of precarious happiness, they can\’t bear to let their children suffer even a little loss, and they keep them tightly tied to their side. The other type is parents like rich men, with big plans and lofty ambitions. They are never bound by the world in front of them. They have dreams and visions, and never stop working hard to change the status quo, so as to achieve sustainable development. The wealth left by these two types of parents to their children is not only a physical distance, but also a difference in the schema of the children\’s interpretation of the world. For the fisherman, sunbathing on the beach is just a life that is forced to be accepted, and there is no freedom of choice. But the rich man is different. He can not only bask in the sun here, but also bask in the sun all over the world. The result of the two patterns and perspectives is not reflected in basking in the sun, but in the ability to have autonomy – an ability that can either choose or give up. The father in \”Dangal\” is obviously a rich father. You must know that they are in a country where child marriage is prevalent and a woman is raped every twenty minutes. Girls born in poverty there have only one destiny: to get married. The right to happiness is in the hands of others, and they have no autonomy or ability to choose. Dad did not succumb to the predetermined fate. After discovering the children\’s talents, he took the initiative to help them choose a path that was more difficult, ridiculed, required more courage, but also had more possibilities. For one more possibility in my daughter’s life, Dad resisted the prejudice and ridicule of the world and tried every possible method. If you don’t have nutrition, you can use your future investment prospects as a guarantee to convince the village hawker to sell him chicken at a very low price; if you don’t have a competition ground, you can open one in the wheat field with your bare hands; if you don’t have the qualifications to compete, you can use your strength to fight for it… In England No Indian ever touched a medal in federal wrestling. On the eve of the championship and runner-up competition, the father said to his daughter: If you win tomorrow, victory will not only belong to you, but also to thousands of people like you who are considered inferior to boys and can only deal with pots and pans. Girls who spend their lives raising their godchildren. Tomorrow\’s game is the most important one, because your opponent is not only the Australian, but also all the people who look down on girls. For the sake of profit, people may go all out; but only for the sake of vision, can people fight to the death to achieve it. Dad used his vision and structure to give the game a vision that was higher than personal interests. So the daughter won the championship. A girl from a mountain village has since become the pride of India. Fathers in ancient and modern times, both at home and abroad, have influenced their children with their own vision and structure. In 1928, Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin ended their stay in the United States. After getting married in Canada, they spent their honeymoon on a trip to inspect ancient European buildings. At this time they are facing the problem of choosing a career. Father Liang Rengong wrote a letter to the newlyweds while he was ill, asking Sicheng and Huiyin about their career choices. The father suggested that the children go to Northeastern University to teach. At that time, Northeastern University was headed by Zhang Xueliang as its president. Various reforms were underway and the Department of Architecture was the first to be established among universities across the country. Liang Qichao wrote in the letter: Northeastern University’s construction industry will have great opportunities for development in the future, and it will be much better than the Tsinghua Garden in Wenwen Township. Although it is not as comfortable as in Beijing now, I think children with ambition should always go on the road of enduring hardship. Sicheng and Huiyin followed their father\’s guidance and headed to the northeast, where the ice and snow covered their hands and feet. Since then, I have embarked on a life path full of variables and hardships, but it is also a life path that includes a grander pattern and a broader vision. At that time, Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin had just graduated from prestigious universities in the United States. They had not yet participated in the construction of China\’s architectural discipline system, nor had they had a down-to-earth inspection of the ancient architecture of their motherland. Both their professional skills and vision needed to be honed and developed. Although even if they chose Tsinghua University from the beginning, it would be quite easy given their father\’s status in the Chinese cultural circle and their own qualities and knowledge. But Tsinghua University did not have an architecture department at that time, so they had to do a lot of things unrelated to their major in other departments first. In this way, although I enjoyed the comfort and leisure by my father\’s side, it also wasted time, consumed energy, and wore away the unique spirit and enthusiasm that I had just stepped out of school. When they go to Northeastern University, which has established an architecture department, they can immediately devote themselves to teaching and research without any distractions. In the Northeast at that time, there were Japanese who were poised to invade and bandits who were hiding day and night, and the situation was quite turbulent. Lin Huiyin described this situation in an optimistic spirit: Beards often appear at night, and we dare not turn on the lights and listen to the cavalry galloping from a distance. Sometimes we peek through the curtain, the moonUnder the light, the bearded man is riding a horse and wearing a red cloak, which is actually romantic… Obviously, the cruel life far away from the gentle hometown has tempered the young Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin. During their time in the Northeast, they saw the scenes of troubled times, experienced the impermanence of life, and endured the difficulties of making a living in a foreign land and the endless professional exploration. This is a more real scene than the colorful life in the United States. Their minds and perseverance have grown rapidly in the hardships. In the days to come, the couple has been listening to the unyielding voice of their hearts. When the Japanese invited Liang Sicheng to attend a meeting, they packed their bags overnight and left Beijing with their young and old in tow; when they were faced with a difficult daily life and could not even get enough money to buy shoes for their son, they still started writing \” A masterpiece like \”History of Chinese Architecture\”; when the United States decided to drop atomic bombs on Japan, Liang Sicheng was specifically asked to designate a location that would be protected from bombing… What created such a mind, ambition and world-class reputation was what they chose from the beginning. The road is harder and wider. A PhD in psychology from Zhejiang University once divided a person\’s pattern into four levels. The first level is called the zero-degree pattern, and they belong to a group of blind followers. They only chase the current trend and believe in carpe diem; the second level is called the one-dimensional pattern. Their characteristic is to pursue profit first in everything. The criterion for measuring whether to do something is whether it is profitable; the third level is called the second-dimensional pattern. They are born for ideas, live openly in the world, and pursue the truth tirelessly. The fourth level is called the three-dimensional pattern. They have extremely high vision and a sense of mission, and work hard to improve society and enhance human happiness. We often say that a person\’s outlook and vision can be divided into high and low. To be more specific, it means which level his ambitions, behaviors, and visions tend to be. And parents’ vision and pattern influence their children all the time. There is a girl named Catherine in the United States. One day, she watched a documentary about African children who could not afford mosquito nets, were bitten by mosquitoes, contracted malaria, and died because they had no money for treatment. Catherine was shocked when she saw this story. It turns out that not everyone in the world is as happy as herself. There are still so many children in Africa who are facing death just because they cannot afford mosquito nets. The next day at school, Catherine secretly bought lunch out of sympathy and saved the pocket money to send to African children to buy mosquito nets. Until one day, the teacher asked her mother: Why didn’t Catherine pay for lunch during this period? The mother was confused and asked her daughter. Catherine said: After watching the video, I want to save money to buy mosquito nets for African children. So I saved the money for lunch… My mother was very touched after hearing this. She encouraged her daughter to persist in such good deeds, and helped her establish a charity fund, giving speeches, raising funds, and writing letters to the richest people in the United States. One of the letters was written to Bill Gates. \”Hello, Mr. Bill Gates, I\’m Katherine. Did you know that every thirty seconds a child dies of malaria in Africa just because they don\’t have a mosquito net. So I have a dream to help raise funds for African children. Buy mosquito nets. Mr. Bill, can you help them with me?\” Bill Gates wrote back: \”You are really amazing. I am willing to allocate three million US dollars to you.Foundation, please help me do this meaningful thing. \”What impressed Bill Gates must have been the little girl\’s ability to bring the big world into her small life, and her ambition to make it her mission and responsibility to reduce the suffering of African children. It is conceivable that Catherine alone It was impossible to do this. It was Catherine\’s mother who decided to encourage her and protect her after seeing the buds of kindness in her child. She did not question her: What does African children have to do with us? For a child as old as yours, you should first read Let’s talk about the good book. He didn’t just sit back and order him to give up on this seemingly inconsequential matter. Instead, he took the initiative to be Catherine’s advisor and planner. He turned sporadic acts of kindness into a more inspiring cause, affecting more people. Influential people. In this case, the little girl became the person in charge of the charity organization, instead of the ordinary American girl Catherine. This was not only a change in identity, but also an improvement in the pattern. Many years later, African charity organizations Invite Catherine to Africa. Catherine saw a child carving her name on the bedside. At that moment, Catherine cried: It turns out that what my mother encouraged me to do really has such great significance. It will It guides me towards a more ambitious goal. Catherine’s story once again tells us that the greatest wealth that parents leave to their children is a higher structure and a broader vision. Let them not be limited by the world in front of them since childhood, and grow in their hearts. Greater aspirations no longer just revolve around the small self. What scenes a person has seen, what words he has heard, and who he has gotten along with in his childhood or adolescence determine his inner structure. I have a relative who is An ordinary teacher came from the countryside. The highest level of people he had contact with when he was young was the teacher in the village. At that time, his biggest wish was to become a teacher like his teacher. If he had seen a more powerful person when he was young, Then his self-image will definitely be different, and his self-expectations will definitely be higher. So he insists on saving money to take his children to a country every year, and consciously let the children get to know people of a higher level than themselves. Let the children go to strange places and have contact with them. Scenes that are different from the tedious daily life, and the words and deeds of people with more knowledge are all to build a larger inner pattern of the child. The path of life is a process of following the map, and this map remains in the heart of every child. If He has never had anyone describe the colors of the picture to him or imagine the boundaries of the picture. In any case, he will not get far.