Walk calmly and slowly with your child, and don’t let grades become the “culprit” for the deterioration of the parent-child relationship.

Recently, many children have finished their final exams one after another and entered the winter vacation. As parents, how should we face the final exam results with our children? What kind of companionship should parents give their children as they grow up? Sharing this letter to parents and friends, I hope you can accompany your children slowly and calmly – before you know it, the children have gone through another semester. Here, we have something to say to you. Session after session, round after round, we have witnessed many cases of parents being too eager and it backfired, and teachers have heard many laments about children\’s poor performance leading to family conflicts. Achievements should not serve as a verdict for a child\’s growth path, nor should they become the \”culprit\” for the deterioration of the parent-child relationship. Remember love and acceptance and don’t let anxiety become the primary emotional connection between you and your child. There is only one \”first place\” in every academic level test. Don\’t let \”other people\’s children\” become the natural enemies of your own children. Dong Yuhui: Don’t pay too much attention to your children. In fact, no child wants to be inferior, because the most profound desire in human nature is to be praised. The development speed of different individuals varies from person to person, and successful people in all walks of life are not always young. Every life is a firework of different colors, and every child has its own rhythm of growth. What we should see is not just other people’s children, but also whether our own children have made progress compared with the past. Moreover, this kind of progress is not just reflected in grades. Every bit of growth of your child is worthy of your praise. Positive effects can give children faith and strength; negative effects can also affect children subconsciously. What kind of energy parents output, children will receive. Parental love and support are the best source of security for children. The power of love from parents and family is irreplaceable for adolescent children. Respecting children\’s \”psychological walls\” can understand children\’s needs for \”independence\”, \”dignity\” and \”sense of control\” during adolescence, and enable friendly discussions and peaceful dialogue with children. Give children space to express themselves, so that they can safely express their thoughts and even their expectations for their parents. Parents can let go of small things, but both parties have a consensus on big things. Don\’t let your children feel that they are being forced to become falsely independent during adolescence, use rebellion to cover up their hesitation and need for love, or let guilt and inferiority dominate their inner world. When they feel that they are doing something for themselves, rather than being forced by their parents, and feel that they are respected, they will not quarrel fiercely with their parents to protect their fragile selves. On this basis, if we analyze the learning status and achievements over a period of time, I believe that children will be more powerful to face difficulties and challenges. Use clear standards to help children establish behavioral boundaries. Love and acceptance are by no means the same as indulgence, indulgence and pampering. Moderate punishment has always been part of education. What we need is to clearly establish the standards of reward and punishment during the run-in with our children. Establish clear and consistent standards. Therefore, when your child does something beyond expectations, he will know that you will praise him. When your child makes a mistake, he will also know that you will praise him.Know that this is the consequence of your actions. There are rules, and as long as they are not changed overnight, although it is an unwritten law, everyone abides by it, and rewards and punishments are actually acceptable to children. As one sentence says: \”When children see the words fairness and justice, you will appear in their minds.\” Do not avoid problems or exaggerate them. The main value of academic level testing is to help teachers and children diagnose of teaching and learning. For children, this is a valuable opportunity to identify problems and diagnose their own adaptability. It is said that adaptation takes a lifetime. Students in the first year of junior high school and the first year of high school have passed the academic level test to see if they have adapted to the study and life of the new school? Do students in the second year of junior high school and high school need to see if they can adapt to the new learning content at the new stage? Students in the third year of junior high school and senior high school should see if they have adapted to the learning rhythm of the sprint stage? Parents should face, study and solve problems diagnosed through testing together with their children. A calm and rational parent is not only the most reliable emotional support for a child, but also the most inspiring role model for his or her actions. Achievements do not mean everything, the problems discovered are potential growth points. Please do not completely deny your child just because his or her performance does not meet a certain standard. What we want to cultivate is well-rounded people, not exam machines. We should not lose the way forward because of one failure. Don\’t be a \”lawnmower parent\” who removes all obstacles for your children and only allows them to immerse themselves in learning. Doing so actually deprives your children of their ability to handle real-life affairs. If you just study without hearing anything outside the window, your child\’s sense of reality will weaken, and they will easily indulge in the virtual world to find and experience reality, such as mobile phones, online games… Therefore, it is recommended that you avoid getting along with your children. In the precious time, all the topics of communication are learning, learning and learning again. The world outside of books is so big, and children need to experience it, see it, and experience it. Moreover, cleaning the room, washing the dishes twice, and letting the brain center handle other parts besides studying are actually a good way to relax. Finally, we would like to say to you that teachers and parents have always been \”allies\” and our goals are exactly the same. We all hope to better support the comprehensive development and healthy growth of children. No matter whether your child\’s grades are good or not, we hope you will maintain a calm and peaceful attitude. There is a saying in Walking Slowly with Children that all love is for being together, but the love parents have for their children is for separation. Middle school is just a stage in a child\’s life. Let\’s walk slowly together to help our children prepare step by step for the years of middle school. Respect the child\’s choice during the process and respect this unique life. So, one day, after breaking away from the wings of their parents, they can become people with independent spirit, sound personality, rich emotions, people with sufficient psychological strength and empathy, people who can smile on their own in the wind, rain and sunshine. Different flowers have different blooming seasons, and our children will eventually move towards their own glory. And we, the parents and teachers who have completed the task, can happily look at their youthful figures from a distance and wave to see them off., no need to chase.