We openly compete with our children, and the children secretly compete with their parents.

The night before, read a story to your child to get ready for bed. She lay down unable to sleep, so she started chatting with me. \”Mom, besides telling stories, what else can you do?\” I replied, \”Mom can also do many things. What are you asking about?\” She said, \”Really, mom can do all kinds of things.\” Cake, she said, mom can make whatever she wants. Mom, can you make cake?\” This stumped me. I don\’t hate cooking, but I have never tried making cakes. such as. One is that I don’t like eating or cooking, and the other is that it’s too troublesome. I have to tell the truth, my mother doesn’t know how to make cakes. If you like to eat them, your mother can learn and make them for you when she has time. She said, then I will do it with you in the future. This question passed without any danger. If you think about it carefully, besides these, the child has also asked other questions. For example, classmate XXX’s mother knows how to tie braids, can you? Classmate XXX’s mother can draw, can you? Classmate XXX’s mother can make braised pork, can you? We adults often compare our children with other children intentionally or unintentionally, and use other people’s children to educate our own children. However, we do not know that even though children are young, they are also secretly comparing themselves to their parents. My colleague\’s child is in the third grade and his academic performance is above average. He is well-behaved but his grades are not particularly outstanding. His deskmate is a typical top student, ranking in the top two in every exam. Every time after taking a test, a colleague would take a look at her child\’s report card and ask, \”How many points did your deskmate get?\” When the child told the other person\’s score, she would say, \”You see, they are also studying.\” , Why do people learn so well? You should learn more from others.\” Although the child is not willing to listen, he will not refute anything. Until recently, she asked her children to learn from their classmates. The child was in a bad mood when his grades were not satisfactory, and his mother scolded him again. He boldly said: \”You always ask me to learn from him, why don\’t you learn from his mother.\” When the colleague heard this, he became anxious. , learned to be rude to adults, \”You don\’t study hard and you still make so many lies. What does it have to do with his mother whether he studies well or not?\” The child was unconvinced and defended in a low voice: \”When he was studying, his mother never played with her mobile phone. , just working or studying in another room. His mother reads more books every year than our textbooks. As for you, you are a mother who only knows how to play with mobile phones.\” The colleague was speechless by the child, and afterwards he specially I reflected on myself, whether some of my behaviors had affected my children, and reduced the time I spent looking at my mobile phone. She said that every child has a stronghold in the heart of what she does. If you want to demand something from your children, you must first demand it from yourself. A classmate was transferred back to a small town from out of town last year because of a chat with his son. Before, he worked out of town, and his salary was much higher than in the local area. His wife took care of the children alone, and he returned home once every ten and a half days on average. His wife asked him to be transferred back many times, but he refused because the child was young and he wanted to work hard to make money and provide better conditions for the child. Until the child reached 6 years old, he spent a day playing with the child that weekend and had to rush back to the city where he worked that evening. While packing his luggage, heTell your son that daddy is leaving and will try to come back to play with you next week. The child hadn\’t had enough fun yet and asked unhappily, \”Can you play with me every day?\” He patiently told the child, \”Dad has to make money for you to spend, so he can\’t be at home with you every day.\” The children didn\’t understand these principles. The son just said: \”But Mingming\’s father also earns money for him to spend. Why can he play with Mingming every day?\” Mingming is their neighbor. His father works in a local company and his salary is Although he is not as tall as him, the family enjoys being together every day. He asked, do you hope that your father will accompany you every day? The child said, \”Of course, you don\’t have to earn so much money. I can save some money. Look, my piggy bank is full. When I grow up, I don\’t need many toys anymore. I want you to be like Mingming\’s father.\” You can play with me every day. He looked at the serious child and finally made up his mind. He could earn more money, but if he missed spending time with his child, if he wanted to spend time with him in the future, the child might not need it. We have a gym downstairs. When I get home from get off work, I often see a woman in her 30s walking out in a hurry. When we meet each other a lot, we smile or nod as a greeting when we meet again. One Saturday afternoon, I saw her again when I was shopping for groceries. This time, I was not in such a hurry. Out of curiosity, I struck up a conversation with her. After chatting with her, I found out that she used to work in a company and the salary was good. After giving birth to her child, she had no one to help her take care of her child, so she quit her job and focused on raising her child at home. When the eldest child was three years old, the second child was born in one breath. I have been taking care of the children at home for four or five years, and unconsciously relaxed the requirements on myself. Before the opening day of the eldest kindergarten, the child asked her, Mom, could you lose some weight? That would make her look much better. Her best friend’s mother is very good-looking. Because of her child\’s words, she decided to lose weight, so she found a gym near her home. Every afternoon, when the father picks up the eldest child and watches the second child, she comes to exercise for an hour, and then goes home to cook and take care of the child. She said that when the second child goes to kindergarten, she will have to go back to work or find something else to do, otherwise even the two children will look down on her. There is an old saying in China, \”A child never thinks his mother is ugly.\” It was later discovered that children actually want their mothers to be better-looking. In the heart of every child, at first they regard their parents as gods and think that their parents are omnipotent. Later, as the children came into contact with more people and learned more, they gradually began to compare their parents with other people\’s parents. If you think your parents are more beautiful and better, your children will feel more proud. On the contrary, if children feel that their parents are inferior to other people\’s parents, they will also have a sense of inferiority in their hearts. When children reach a certain age and see their parents\’ condition, they will have their own judgment standards in their hearts. It does not mean that parents are worthy of their children\’s respect. In order to win the respect of their children and become their role models, what parents have to do is to constantly improve themselves, grow and progress with their children, and be better themselves and better parents.