As a parent, what is your greatest expectation for your children? Be sensible, obedient and well-educated, and be a role model for others to follow; have excellent grades since childhood, and graduate from a key university in the future; have a decent job, and have a successful career at a young age; have rich interests and hobbies, be healthy, and be happy… educate your children, As he grew up, we worried about every detail and devoted all our time and energy outside of work to this. In the process, the more we pay, the more we expect our children to grow. Mo Yan once said: \”The excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of their parents.\” Every outstanding, self-disciplined and motivated child is inseparable from the hard work, attentive companionship and careful upbringing of his parents. Parents who are truly far-sighted know how to carefully control their children in these six things. And these \”good intentions\” are the best growth gifts that parents can give their children. Control laziness and help children achieve transformational growth. Staying in bed every morning, always eating slowly, always procrastinating on homework and doing things… If you vote for the most troublesome thing for parents, then \”the child is too dawdy\” will definitely On the list. When the bad habit of procrastination permeates every detail of a child\’s life, it will not only affect the child\’s life and learning rhythm, but also cause the child to often be unable to enter the state at the beginning of the new semester or when preparing to do something, reducing efficiency. Severe procrastination will also cause children to have strong feelings of self-blame and guilt, fall into a cycle of self-denial and devaluation, and even cause psychological problems such as anxiety and depression. However, blindly urging and occasionally yelling and scolding will not make children get rid of their bad habit of dawdling. Sometimes they will also cause children to be resistant and rebellious, and they will deliberately confront their parents. To control children\’s procrastination, what parents need to do is to first help their children understand time correctly and establish time management concepts, such as when to get up, what time to eat, when to do homework, and when to rest and play. Don’t do everything for your children, and don’t turn your children’s affairs into your own. When we clarify the boundaries of responsibility and allow children to face and bear the consequences of dilly-dallying when appropriate, it is more effective for children to face lessons directly than to listen to 100 sermons. The process of getting rid of bad habits is always accompanied by difficulties and pains. Parents may wish to be more patient and caring to reduce their children\’s resistance. When you do well, give timely encouragement to enhance your child\’s self-confidence and transform into a better person step by step. Control dependence and give children an independent soul. Children have an innate sense of dependence on their parents. They may call Mom when drinking water, calling Mom when eating, calling Mom when studying, calling Mom when going out to play… It seems that they can\’t do anything without their parents\’ sight. But as independent individuals, children grow up slowly and will eventually leave the arms of their parents and move independently into the wider world in pursuit of a wonderful life. If you can\’t get rid of the dependence mentality, you will never be able to become a truly outstanding person. It is mentioned in the book \”Unlocking the Wisdom of Parents\”: \”Learning to be alone is crucial for a child\’s development.\” To control children\’s dependence, we must boldly create opportunities for children to be independent, such as cleaning the room independently and reading independently. , write homework independently… When children encounter difficulties and ask parents for help, treat them asThe situation gives verbal encouragement or action support. Give your children the opportunity to practice. Even if they fall, please be determined to let them \”stand up\” and move on. At any time, you must tell your children that you must start and end everything you do and never give up just because you encounter difficulties. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! When children get a sense of accomplishment from completing something independently, and when we can give them enough sense of security, children will become strong from vulnerability, and will have the courage to explore the unknown, stand alone, and the confidence not to be afraid of losing. Control your willfulness and insist on love and rules in parallel. It is said in the book \”Rules and Love\”: Growing up in love without rules, children lose their gratitude; growing up in rules without love, children learn to feel inferior; growing up in rules without rules, children learn to feel inferior; Growing up without love, children lose awe; growing up with rules and love, children learn humility and self-confidence. Because he can\’t get the toy he wants, he will act recklessly; because he loses a game, he will lose his temper; because he wants to play, he will act recklessly regardless of the occasion and time… When a child lives in a family without rules Growing up in a middle school, the willfulness developed since childhood will not only make him lack the awareness to abide by the rules, go astray, and make behaviors that hurt others, himself, and even his parents, but will also make him accept more cruel treatment from society. , more severe and ruthless education. Without rules, there is no circle. Loving children and following rules are not a single-choice question. What kind of person you hope your child will become when he grows up can be traced in the family education your child receives since childhood. Set rules for children, establish a sense of awe, and let them live in a family with clear rules and boundaries. Under the influence of their parents\’ positive guidance and role models, they can develop a good character of obeying rules and being polite from an early age. Understand what behavior is right and what behavior is wrong. If you do wrong, you will be punished. If you do right, you will be praised. In the future, he will become a person who can distinguish right from wrong, respect others, and know etiquette. Control desires and help children find the direction of their efforts. In psychology, there is a concept called the [Desi Effect], that is: moderate rewards are conducive to consolidating an individual’s intrinsic motivation, but excessive rewards may reduce an individual’s interest in the matter itself. interest. Reduce their intrinsic motivation. In other words, parents giving their children appropriate material rewards can increase their motivation to learn to a certain extent, but they will not really stimulate their children\’s interest in learning. Excessive pursuit of material rewards will cause children to be blinded by boundless desires. Not only will they forget the original purpose of learning, but they will also become narrow-minded and equate rewards with self-awareness, thinking that \”with rewards = I am great, without rewards = I am not good\”, and they cannot afford to lose. People\’s desires are endless, even children are no exception. If you meet your children\’s needs without hesitation in everything, indulge your children\’s desires, and encourage the growth of greed, your children will never learn to work hard and cherish. Control the children\’s ever-expanding desires. Parents will never be absent when rewards should be honored. Parents should also use a firm attitude to reject their children\’s unreasonable requests and give reasonable refusals when they should not be satisfied.reasons to convince the child. Only by making children truly realize that learning is to achieve a better life in the future, rather than to exchange a gift or a big meal in front of them, will they understand the principle of \”you have to pay first and then you will get something\” and form correct values. . Rewards are not a tool used to control children. In this life, the best reward we can give our children is unconditional love and support. Control laziness and make self-discipline a child\’s way of life. It is mentioned in the book \”Welcome to Your Child\’s Brain\”: The impact of self-discipline on a person\’s success is twice that of intelligence. But for children whose minds are not yet mature, it is as difficult as getting them to stay focused on work and live a self-disciplined life. If there is no timely guidance and behavioral restraint from parents, children will be greedy for temporary comfort and relaxation, and their lives will be controlled by inner laziness. If you don’t want to study, you close the textbook, if you’re halfway through your homework, you’ll watch TV, if you don’t want to read, you’ll pick up your phone and play games… Over time, when laziness becomes a bad habit, it will be more difficult for children to become self-disciplined and embrace excellence. Controlling children\’s laziness and cultivating their self-discipline does not happen overnight. We often say that behind every self-disciplined child, there is a mother who can \”endure\”. We must resist nagging, interfering, and anger, give our children enough patience, make study plans and regular schedules with them, and use methods and attitudes to urge our children to study and live according to the plan every day. When supervising your children, don’t forget to lead by example and use heteronomy to promote your children’s self-discipline. When parents regard self-discipline as a way of life and insist on it for a long time, their children will subconsciously imitate it and tacitly agree that restraint and persistence are what life should be like. As the mother of Yang Chenyu, a top scorer in the college entrance examination, said: \”You must help your child develop habits when he has no ability to think independently; the process of supervision is painful because you have to keep an eye on him all the time. But after the child is finalized, the future of the child will The road will be easy.\” Controlling temper teaches children to correctly understand emotions. Just like happiness, sadness and other emotions, children losing their temper is actually an instinctive reaction. Child education expert Kimberly Brain once said: \”Children lose their temper because they have an innate, natural instinct to pursue all their wishes.\” Unlike adults, children lose their temper because they don\’t know how. Express your thoughts normally, but don’t know how to digest and resolve emotions correctly. Therefore, they can only seek help from their parents who love them most through the worst way – losing their temper. Many parents often worry that their children always lose their temper in front of them, but in fact, when children show their strongest emotions, it is also the best time for emotion management training. Learn to understand and accept children\’s \”bad emotions\”. If we want to control children\’s tempers, we must first teach them to recognize each emotion, teach them to express their thoughts correctly, and reasonably resolve stress and negative emotions. At the same time, don’t forget to tell your child that mom and dad will always be the people who love him the most in the world, so you must say it well if you have anything to say. When children no longer lose their temper because of trivial gains and losses, and when children can solve problems without emotion, they will have a strong heart, grow towards the sun, and becomeStrong enough, brave enough. It is often said that the way parents educate is crucial to the growth of their children. Family education is not only related to knowledge, but also related to children\’s personality, psychology and values. For a truly outstanding child, every step he takes on his growth path and every choice and decision he makes are inextricably linked to the education his parents gave him since childhood. A child\’s future is destined to be created by himself. The task of parents is to use appropriate discipline and supervision at the right age of their children to discover their shining points and guide them to shine in their own way. So, as a parent, what kind of expectations do you have for your children and what kind of person do you want your children to become in the future? Please give your children the kind of education they need from an early age! I hope every parent can find the best way to raise their children and be the best role model for their children; I hope every child can grow up healthily and happily under the nourishment and education of love, and pursue endless pursuits on the road of life. Fear and courage, compete with the wider world on your own stage.