What are the problems faced by families with two children?

According to third-party research data released by iResearch, 45.2% of women of childbearing age in my country hope to have a multi-child family. Other relevant data shows that the number of second children in my country will reach 8.83 million in 2022, and the number of second children will account for 51.2% of the total birth population. It can be seen that the number of two-child families in my country will continue to rise steadily in the future. Fan Deng Reading Club’s Five Compulsory Courses in Family Education for New Parents [Video + Audio] So in this childbearing context, have the problems faced by second-child families been carefully considered? In fact, some problems do not have to wait until the children become adults 20 years later. Parents of second children have to deal with them carefully when the children are still young. Bai Lu is a mother of her second child. In order to welcome the birth of her baby, she chose to resign and return to her family. But even so, after Xiaobao was born, she was extremely busy. Not long ago, when Bai Lu attended Dabao\’s parent-teacher meeting, the teacher deliberately asked her to stay and chat a few more words. \”It\’s hard to take care of two children, but I still have to communicate with you on some things.\” In Bai Lu\’s eyes, Dabao has always been a very obedient child, and the teacher\’s words made her not know how to respond. The teacher was relieved by Bai Lu\’s reaction. She then took out an essay written by Dabao from the drawer and said softly, \”You\’d better read this first!\” \”I originally loved my mother very much, but when my sister was born, After that, her love for me disappeared.\” \”I hate my sister, why can she always be held in my mother\’s arms, but it is a luxury for me to sleep in the same bed with my mother.\” \”The whole family wants me It\’s not fair to give up to my sister.\” Bai Lu was very surprised when her daughter\’s composition was full of dissatisfaction with herself and jealousy of her sister. Before that, she had always felt that she was a good mother, at least not depriving Dabao of his basic necessities. But what exactly went wrong? Why does Dabao think so? On the way home from school, Bai Lu felt like she was facing an enemy, because when she got home she would have to face Dabao, who had \”blamed\” herself in the essay. Although she felt that she had been misunderstood and even a little wronged, she calmed down and thought about it carefully. It was true that she had rarely paid attention to Dabao\’s emotions recently, and it was true that she had no time to put Dabao to sleep. \”Oh, it\’s not easy to be a parent of a second child!\” Bai Lu murmured to herself after she had smoothed her thoughts, \”It seems that I have to pay more attention to Dabao\’s situation in the future, otherwise I\’m afraid there will be big problems in the family in the future.\” From a family with a second child \”Noisy\” is mostly because parents have not solved these three problems. Problem 1: Insufficient companionship time. After the birth of the second child, parents are bound to devote part of their time to the baby, and at the same time, the baby needs more careful care. , parents will instinctively devote more time to Xiaobao\’s side. So, this also means that Dabao, who could have enjoyed all the company of his parents, has to share it with Xiaobao. The lack of time spent together made Dabao feel dissatisfied, which led to tension between him and his family members. Problem 2: Unconscious \”favoritism\” Because of different parenting styles or differences in educational expectations, parents can easily be found to be \”favorite\” when treating their two children. For example, parents ask DabaoFocusing on studying, she rejected his toy application, but turned around and bought Xiaobao a new toy. Such differences in parenting can easily induce conflicts in second-child families. Question 3: Comparing children. In two-child families, it is very common for parents to compare their children. It is even said that this is an unconscious behavior on the part of the parents. Educationist Suhomlinsky once said that the corner of a child\’s heart that should not be bruised is self-esteem. When there is comparison, there will be high and low. Children who are compared can easily have their self-esteem hurt. Children are dissatisfied, and parents\’ wrong handling methods will only intensify conflicts. How to balance the relationship between children and other family members is an unavoidable and compulsory course for parents in two-child families. When children have psychological dissatisfaction, parents\’ \”preaching\” and \”shock\” cannot fundamentally solve the problem. Simple and crude suppression will only make the wronged child more wronged, and the inner dissatisfaction will only give rise to deeper dissatisfaction. resentment. Children are innocent and simple at heart. When parents turn a blind eye to their inner needs, this feeling of long-term neglect is likely to devour the child\’s instinct to love. Children who are treated unfairly cannot experience the inner peace that fairness brings. It is difficult for them to be truly generous and tolerant when they are raised differently. The complete collection of English enlightenment cartoons that are most suitable for children and cannot be missed. As parents of second children, how do smart parents make their children love each other? First of all, the eldest child should no longer be forced to \”compromise\”. Chinese families pay attention to the order of elders and young children, and believe that the elder should be humble and accommodating to the younger ones. But in fact, when Dabao didn\’t get enough in the first place, it was difficult for him to be willing to be humble from the bottom of his heart. Child psychologist Adler said that Dabao who has experienced the period of being an \”only child\” is more likely to develop the consciousness of \”fighting for special favor\” when his parents force him to be humble. \”The older one gives way to the younger one\” has become a \”force\” for Dabao, and the normal needs that are not respected have become a psychological burden that Dabao cannot let go. Secondly, be good at discovering the shining points in each child. Early childhood education instructor Sugabo believes that parents should not compare their children\’s behaviors, but try to praise each person\’s strengths and make them realize that they are unique existences. This will help them establish a harmonious relationship with each other. . Different children have different temperament expressions. Parents do not \”step on one and support the other\”, which is the magic weapon to promote their common progress. Finally, pay attention to the cultivation of affection among children. In a second-child family, it is easy to develop a sense of competition among children. Xiaobao is Dabao\’s imaginary rival for favor, and Dabao is the leader that Xiaobao strives to catch up with. Therefore, only if parents are good at grasping the small details in life and trying to create more opportunities to help cultivate the affection between children, the family atmosphere of second-child families will be less \”smell of gunpowder\”. Tips: Family love carried by blood is extremely precious in a person\’s life. In a second-child family, the children are fortunate to gain more. Therefore, parents who have the courage to give birth to a second child must not waste this extra nurturing opportunity that they have fought for, and do not let the older baby feel cold and the younger one sad. I believe that many parents choose to have a second child because they sincerely hope that the children will grow up with each other.This can become each other\’s playmates, and I hope they can become the most important guardians in each other\’s lives. However, if parents of second-born children are not mentally prepared enough and master the correct family education methods, then the wrong way of treating the child is likely to make things develop in the opposite direction from the original idea.