What are the symptoms of depression in teenagers?

One afternoon at the end of March, the girl Cheng Xuan came to my psychological counseling studio with her parents. Cheng Xuan, who is in her first year of high school this year, is tall and tall, but she always stands behind her mother, lowering her head and saying nothing, as if she wants to shrink down. My mother told me that a week ago, Cheng Xuan was diagnosed with mild depression. The doctor did not prescribe medication and suggested that she receive psychological counseling first. My mother couldn\’t understand why a good child could suffer from depression. After my frightened daughter sat down, I first asked Cheng Xuan for her opinion on whether she wanted to consult with her parents. Cheng Xuan whispered, still hoping they could leave temporarily, and there were some things she wanted to say to me alone. My mother frowned and was a little unhappy, but after my persuasion, she finally chose to respect her daughter’s opinion and took her husband to the waiting room. \”Little classmate Cheng Cheng, how do you feel now?\” \”Not happy, just unhappy.\” Cheng Xuan told me that this feeling started in junior high school. Cheng Xuan originally lived in the countryside with her parents. Her father worked in farming and her mother was a primary school teacher in the village. Later, through further studies and examinations, her mother was transferred to the city as a junior high school teacher. After Cheng Xuan graduated from elementary school, she naturally entered the junior high school where her mother worked. Cheng Xuan felt good at first. She followed her mother to and from get off work every day. She could also eat in the staff cafeteria at noon without having to wait in long lines with her classmates. But after a month passed, Cheng Xuan found that she didn\’t like this kind of life very much. \”I feel depressed. In the class, my mother knows all the little things. Which class I don\’t like to talk about, which homework I didn\’t finish well, which quiz I dropped one place from, my mother knows. Even me and I My mother would go to the class teacher to find out which classmate I got closer to or who I often played with after class. If my friend did not get good grades, she would sternly warn me not to get too close to the kids with poor grades. \” Cheng Xuan said frustratedly. Later, she would be very nervous when she went home with her mother every day after school, for fear that she would perform poorly and make her mother lose her temper. Through continuous study and hard work, my mother got the opportunity to move up at the age of 38. But after arriving in the city, my mother was even more tired and unhappy. \”Every word I say must be carefully considered, because I never know which sentence will make my mother explode and reveal many things in the past. Negative emotions can affect me for several days…\” Slowly, Cheng Xuan\’s friends became more and more interested. He came less and less, spending more time studying every day, but his grades got worse. Her mother found various cram schools for her and filled her spare time. She knows that it is not easy for her mother, so even if she is not in good condition, she still does not miss classes and often studies until late at night. During the high school entrance examination, Cheng Xuan was admitted to the local key high school, but she was not admitted to the so-called key class. Cheng Xuan had expected this, but her mother couldn\’t let it go for a long time. When the silent father heard what Cheng Xuan said, it suddenly occurred to me that if there is an overworked mother in a family, there will often be an invisible father. So I asked: \”When mom criticizes you, what will dad say?\” Cheng Xuan sighed and said, \”Dad doesn\’t say anything.\” Cheng Xuan\’s dad and mom were classmates in middle school, and later her mom was admitted to the normal college. Dad failed the exam and worked as a farmer at home. He is hard-working and hard-working, and is the most popular person in the village.A famous corn grower. As Cheng Xuan grew up, her mother\’s mentality changed. She saw that some of her classmates from technical secondary schools stayed in the city after graduation, and their children enjoyed relatively good educational resources. Their exam targets were provincial key high schools and 985 and 211 universities. The mother feels that her daughter\’s IQ and learning ability are no worse than other children, and she is not willing to be inferior to others. My mother studied hard at home after get off work. She completed her undergraduate course in two years and then studied for a part-time graduate degree. She was successfully transferred to work in the city, and the family also moved to the city. When farming is busy, Cheng Xuan\’s father lives alone in the countryside; when farming is slack, he goes to the city and takes care of all the household chores such as washing and cooking. He knew that his wife worked hard and her hair fell out in handfuls when she was under great pressure at work. Apart from cooking more delicious food for the mother and daughter, he could not do anything to help them. Even so, Cheng Xuan\’s father also found that the couple talked less and less. When they occasionally communicated something together, they would always be interrupted by his wife, who thought he didn\’t understand or said something wrong. He especially couldn\’t bear to see his wife criticizing his daughter every day and focusing on her grades. Once, when he saw that his wife was speaking too harshly, he tried to persuade him: \”It\’s just that I didn\’t do well in the exam once. If you fail, your children will know how to work hard!\” Unexpectedly, his wife became even more angry and scolded him in front of his children: \” Just because you don\’t like to study and make progress, that\’s why I have to work so hard! I will never let Cheng Xuan be like you, uneducated and know nothing!\” Cheng Xuan\’s father knew in his heart that after more than ten years of marriage, his wife was making continuous progress. But he was still standing still. Sometimes he didn\’t dare to look at her, as if she was not his wife, but a leader sent by his superiors. He had to look at her face every day to speak and do things. If it weren\’t for his daughter, he wouldn\’t want to go back to his home in the city. In that home, he felt that he did not live like a man and did not experience any love and respect. He, who was originally humorous and cheerful, began to become silent. However, the more he became like this, the more disappointed his wife was in him and felt that he was useless. The hard-working mother When I told Cheng Xuan’s mother how she and her father felt, she was a little angry and then discouraged. Because her husband doesn\’t understand her, and because her daughter doesn\’t live up to expectations, she seems to be fighting alone. She is the only one in the family who \”does business.\” Cheng Xuan\’s mother told me about the hardships she has encountered in studying, taking exams, and changing jobs in the past few years. People around her didn\’t understand, but she persisted. \”I\’m not just for myself, I really want to create a good learning environment for my child so that she can have a better future. Urban schools are different from rural primary schools. Interpersonal relationships are more complex and work pressure is high, but no matter how hard it is, How tiring, I feel so happy when I think about allowing my children to receive a better education. But Cheng Xuan is always not up to par, especially not careful enough, so her grades fluctuate. If she can be obedient, she will definitely be admitted to a key high school. She is in a key class and is likely to be admitted to a prestigious university in 3 years. But now she is in an ordinary class, and it may be difficult for her to get a good one. After that, she will not be able to find a good job, go to an inappropriate city, and start a bad life. The marriage of the heart…isn\’t it over for her in this life?\” When she said this, I thought of one word – extremely bad. \”It\’s so bad\” is one of the irrational beliefs in psychology.An irrational belief that imagines and extrapolates the possible consequences of things to very terrible, very bad or even catastrophic results. Just like Cheng Xuan\’s mother, starting from the time when her child failed to enter a key class, she deduced that her child\’s work, marriage and even life were failures. I couldn\’t help but ask her: \”Do all children in ordinary classes have poor grades?\” She thought for a moment and said, \”That\’s not true. Some children will do well in the college entrance examination and get very high scores.\” I asked again Question: \”If you go to a good university, you will definitely find a job that satisfies you?\” She thought about it and said, \”Not so sure!\” I continued to ask: \”If you have a good job, you will definitely meet a good lover and be happy. Lifelong?\” She smiled and said, \”Well…whether a marriage is happy or not depends on luck sometimes.\” \”So, whether a person is happy has little to do with his college entrance examination scores, and it has nothing to do with whether he can attend key classes. We must contact you, right?\” Cheng Xuan\’s mother nodded, thoughtfully: \”However, every parent hopes that their children will take every step well and steadily!\” I asked her back: \”Life is so long, who can guarantee it? Every choice is correct, every step of the road is walked well? The detours taken may also be wealth, aren\’t they?\” CCTV recommended over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries, and the children watched the pattern and became addicted to self-discipline. \”And In a family, no one is always right, and mutual respect is the prerequisite for harmonious coexistence. If one person in your couple is too strong, it will cause the other person to lose self-confidence, feel depressed, and even run away from the marriage or cheat on others. Impulse. The same goes for children. Strong parents can make children rebellious or cowardly, leading to depression and other psychological problems.\” I paused and said, \”What you think is good may not be really good. You want others to think you are good. really good\”. Everyone has his own life, either running all the way, or watching the scenery while walking. There is no absolute good or bad, and there are no absolute standards. \”Never use your own standards to measure your lover and children. This is a taboo in marriage and parent-child relationships. If you are so persistent, you may have your own knots, so you might as well start by reconciling with yourself. You can also make an appointment with a personal psychologist Counseling gives your children and yourself a chance.”