What China needs education most is not its children, but its parents

\”The people in China who need education most are parents, not children.\” This view was said by the ancients more than a thousand years ago. Han Yu said in his article \”Teacher\’s Theory\”: \”If you love your children, choose a teacher and teach them; for yourself, you will be ashamed of the teacher and confused.\” This sentence means that parents love their children, so they choose a teacher to teach them. Good teachers teach children. But the parents themselves are ashamed to study with teachers. They are really confused. The parents helped their children find a teacher to teach them, but he himself felt that it was very shameful and shameful to learn from the teacher. \”Confused\”, isn\’t this approach a bit reversed? Find a teacher for your child, and then you don’t learn and you don’t have a teacher. More than a thousand years ago, the ancients revealed to us the true meaning of family education: to educate children well, parents must continue to learn. Times are changing, society is progressing, and children are growing up every day. If parents do not update their knowledge, they will not be able to keep up with their children, let alone educate and lead their children. Education is a two-way street. If there is only one-way education, there is no way to achieve the best results in education, and it may even lead to the failure of education. The masterpiece \”Two-Way Parenting\” written by American Jayne Major particularly emphasizes \”nurturing yourself first\”. It emphasizes that parents need to shift the focus of parenting from their children to themselves. Only by changing themselves, enriching themselves, improving themselves, and being in a positive state full of love, value, respecting interpersonal boundaries, and embracing change can they help their children grow healthily. But I found that most parents in China are not capable of the complex and arduous task of education. Many of them are only responsible for giving birth to children and do not have the concept of raising children at all. The concept of \”the children will grow up if they are thrown away\” is still the mainstream. Seeing the child\’s problems becoming more and more prominent, the worry is getting worse, but there is nothing that can be done. I am an educator and work with tons of kids every day. I have been teaching for 20 years and have contacted countless children. Looking at so many problem children, I am anxious and can\’t help shouting: \”Ignorant parents, if you don\’t learn how to be a good parent, you will ruin your children.\” No parent is born perfect, only by constantly working with them Parents whose children grow up together are the best parents. Many parents in China even hold the view that any adult can teach their children well, including grandparents and nannies… They never take it seriously. It is not until their children become \”problem students\” that they begin to struggle and feel panicked. Parents without educational knowledge will affect their children\’s life pattern. So for now, I think there are three aspects of knowledge that parents need to learn urgently. Parents urgently need to learn psychological knowledge. Parenting experts say that today, as the importance of family education becomes more and more obvious, parents must understand some psychology. A parent who does not know psychology will not be a competent parent. When we educate our children, what most parents neglect the most is their children’s psychological growth. The reason for neglect should not be turning a blind eye, but more likely to be a lack of knowledge in this area. We know how to make children eat better, dress them better, and provide them with a better education in a better environment. However, when children have these problems, weBut I don’t know how to deal with it. For example, why do children suddenly become tired of studying and why do they like to skip school? If you didn’t tell a lie before, why do you keep telling lies now? Why do children who are always optimistic and cheerful suddenly like silence? Why are children so grumpy? Why can\’t children concentrate on doing one thing well… You really want to get into your child, listen to his inner voice, and understand what\’s on his mind. But you can\’t hear a word. Faced with these abnormal behaviors of your children, you are at a loss and unable to do anything. This is all because we cannot understand the psychological factors behind children\’s superficial behaviors. In layman\’s terms, we cannot get into the child\’s psychology. We cannot interpret it because we seriously lack basic psychological knowledge. Our lack of knowledge in this area directly causes children\’s psychological problems. Because of this, one of my college classmates ruined his correct life. She is bright and charming, but sometimes a bit introverted. For a period of time, her behavior was a bit abnormal. Sometimes she smiled brightly at others, and sometimes she was silent and ignored people. Her roommate said that she often forgets to eat and always likes to stay in bed. She said that she often stood on the balcony alone and looked toward the library with a look of horror. She said that when she was studying in the classroom, she would often laugh and cry. They reported it to the head teacher. The head teacher discovered that she already had serious psychological problems because she was already experiencing auditory hallucinations and hallucinations. The head teacher immediately summoned his parents to inform them of the seriousness of the situation. The classmate’s parents took her home, thinking that she would be fine if she rested at home for a while. Then tragedy happened and the classmate went \”crazy\”. We all found it incredible and felt sorry for the tragic life of our classmates. The teacher said that this situation is not crazy, as long as timely treatment and medication are enough. Because he once had a student who was in the same situation. Her parents paid great attention to it and took her to see a psychiatrist in time for treatment. After that, she got better and there was no recurrence. But after my classmate’s parents took her home, they saw that her behavior was normal. They thought she was just thinking too much, and thought that the teachers and classmates were exaggerating the situation, so they didn’t take her to see a doctor or treat her too much. s concern. Then tragedy happened. There are many tragedies like this. I deal with high school students and am a psychological counselor. I come into contact with many students with psychological problems every day. For example, those who are hypothetical, extremely sensitive, and delusional… many of them are unable to concentrate on their studies and have sleep disorders. We all know that the problem is serious, and we ask parents to discuss countermeasures to solve the problem, but what is helpless is that we repeatedly Parents who make appointments with each other all have a common characteristic: they miss appointments again and again due to circumstances. Don\’t they love children? Love. The only explanation for being so careless is that they don\’t know the seriousness of these psychological problems, and they don\’t know that failing to deal with these problems will ruin their children\’s lives. For the healthy growth of their children, it is urgent for parents to learn psychological knowledge. Parents need to constantly improve their personal qualities. Parents are the \”background wall\” and \”reference object\” for children\’s growth. Children grow up according to their parents\’ appearance. Their words, deeds, values, and thinking will all affect children. A well-educatedParents who raise children generally raise well-educated children. vice versa. The case of a girl in my class illustrates this point very well. After the \”100-Day Sprint\” in the senior year of our school, every student in each class will sign their name on the class flag to express encouragement and cheer themselves up. The students, head teachers and teaching staff all wrote their names religiously. But this girl in this class openly wrote the words \”Signatures are useless\” on the class flag. This is an act of provocation. She used this move to deny the school and the head teacher. The head teacher sat waiting for her apology. She had no shame at all, and she didn\’t even think there was anything wrong with it. This female student\’s arrogance and lack of collective thinking are not the result of day and night. The head teacher said that the reason why this girl is so weird is because she has weird parents. It is said that one time the father and his parents heard that their daughter was not feeling well and came to visit her. At that time, the class teacher was in class. The father walked directly into the classroom without saying hello, ignoring the teacher and other students, walked straight to the female student\’s seat, and stretched out his hand to probe his daughter\’s forehead. You may immediately say that this parent is really unqualified, uneducated, does not know how to respect others, and has no basic respect for teachers. I agree. Parents’ arrogant and unruly thoughts and behaviors are also passed on to their children. When our children have problems, the first thing most parents do is to blame their children for becoming bad, and never think that it is their own problem. What’s even more sad is that uneducated parents will most likely produce uneducated offspring, and uneducated offspring will continue to produce uneducated children… There are so many naughty children now because there are so many naughty parents. . The story of a Chinese couple and their six-year-old son who had a fight with a Chinese-Japanese brother that shocked the world is a typical example of lack of education. Behind every confident child, there is mostly an unreasonable parent. Therefore, if naughty children are a pool of sewage, then bear parents are the undoubted source of sewage. Children grow up like their parents. If the parents are not well-educated, the children will lack upbringing, and the lost upbringing will be regained in the children in another way. Cause and effect reciprocate, cause and effect circulate. Sow good causes and reap good results. Plant evil causes and reap evil consequences. As a parent, you must have a sense of reverence when educating your children. We are the cause of our children. In order for the fruit to be big and high-quality, parents must be high-quality towering trees. This requires watering the fertilizer of \”education\” every day. Farmers must understand professional parenting techniques. Love alone is not enough for farmers to grow crops. Only by knowing how to grow crops can they have a good harvest. To educate children, only love is not enough. Only by understanding the rules of children\’s growth can they have a good future. Therefore, the basic condition for being a parent is to at least understand the growth patterns of your child. For example, in terms of feeding, when is the critical period for a child\’s growth and what should be given to the child. Mastering the rules in this area will achieve twice the result with half the effort in children\’s growth. In addition, how to cultivate children with good habits, good character, excellent IQ, extraordinary emotional intelligence, etc., all of which require parents to master certain scientific parenting rules. If the children are raised without purpose, it is an inevitable result that the children will become mediocre. GermanIn his book \”The Education of Carle Witt\”, Carl Witt described in detail how he used scientific parenting methods to cultivate a son with slight congenital defects into a genius step by step. This process includes prenatal education, feeding, thoughts, character, habits, etc. Each step is supported by professional parenting theoretical knowledge. Only by understanding the growth patterns of children can we avoid detours in raising children. Nurturing not only points to the children, but also to the parents themselves. Good parenting is a journey in which parents and children grow together. No matter how we were raised, we can learn to be competent, strong, and loving parents. Only parents who continue to learn and grow can always be towering trees and thick shelter walls for their children.