What consumes the most for a family’s children are these inconspicuous little things.

“Energy” is a word that many people are discussing right now. When we are overwhelmed by work, when we are tortured by the trivialities of life and lose patience, we will have extremely high mood swings, inexplicable irritability and irritability, unwillingness to socialize, and difficulty in concentrating on completing the current tasks. Task. In fact, this is a low-energy signal. American psychologist Dr. David Hawkins mentioned in the book \”Imagination: Inspire Your Potential Power\”: Everyone has different energy levels. When energy is high, people seem to have \”endless energy\” and are more optimistic, proactive and tolerant about life. They can even convey positive emotions and calm the anxiety of people around them. On the contrary, when energy is low, everything feels boring, and people\’s emotions are mostly pessimistic and depressed. Even if they do nothing, they will feel exhausted. We always think that children should be lively, cheerful, energetic or carefree. In fact, children also have \”low energy\” symptoms, such as procrastination, inattention, lack of energy to do things, and playing games. Sometimes I am very excited, but when I put down my mobile phone, I immediately feel sluggish… Children\’s low energy is often the result of the comprehensive influence of the environment. As parents, the way we treat our children can sometimes easily consume their physical and mental energy. Today, we have summarized a few things that easily consume our children\’s energy: PART.1 Too many scolding voices for trivial matters. I once encountered a mother scolding me at McDonald\’s. Child: \”Look, your food is all over the floor. I asked you to get a box and take it…\” \”You eat your food, don\’t look around…\” \”When I ordered it, I told you that you couldn\’t finish it. You It\’s a must…\” \”I will never bring you here again…\” It was obviously a relaxing meal time, but the mother couldn\’t help but keep staring at the child, competing with the child on various trivial matters, and blaming the child. The children on the side were absentmindedly eating the burgers and fries in their hands. Many children grow up in this kind of language environment of criticism and accusation: their clothes are stained when they go out to play; they accidentally drop their food on the ground; they miss a decimal point when doing a problem… things like this are inevitable. A round of criticism and blame, or any mistake, can stir up trouble. Children who live in this environment for a long time will inevitably become dejected. British psychologist Terri Apter once described a child who was scolded: \”The body that was originally full of singing and laughter suddenly became shrinking, nervous, and sluggish. The face that was originally full of energy, enthusiasm and excitement It was covered with haze. The shining eyes dimmed, looking at the parents\’ faces in a daze, waiting for the storm to slowly subside. \”In education, criticism and accusation do have special power, but if we always apply it. Gradually, the child\’s energy is consumed on various trivial matters. This is not to advise everyone not to get angry when their children make mistakes, but to remind everyone that when faced with similar situations, we actually have more choices and must be generous enough to ignore minor mistakes. Show more care instead of judgment; show more tolerance instead of harshness; show more empathy and consider children\’s feelings instead of subconsciously insulting… Only when we have the courage to accept imperfections can children learn and grow better. PART.2 Parents quarrelToo many voices. German psychologist Bert Hellinger mentioned in the book \”The Order of Love\”: \”The relationship between husband and wife takes precedence over the relationship between parents and children.\” If parents neglect to express each other because they are taking care of their children, Love is not a good thing for parents or their children. For children, the discord between parents makes it impossible for them to be happy children with peace of mind. I once saw a piece of news about a girl who started to go bald and lose her hair when she was only nine years old. The doctor\’s examination found that most of the hair breaks were artificially pulled out. After questioning, he learned that the little girl had pulled them out herself. It turned out that the girl\’s parents often quarreled, and the long-term discord between her parents caused a lot of pressure on her, and she eventually developed a bad habit of pulling out her hair. The endless internal fighting between parents casts a shadow over the growth of children. Some people say: \”The most terrifying thing about a family is not poverty, but having a person who often creates internal strife and constantly creates conflicts and quarrels.\” In a high-conflict family, the father has a gloomy face, the mother is unhappy, and the children\’s faces They have also lost their luster. They are trembling every day, full of fear in their hearts, and they have learned to observe words and emotions early. If things go on like this, the child\’s energy will be consumed. As the British psychologist Rudolf Schaeffer pointed out in \”Child Psychology\”, \”Marriage conflict may be one of the most pathogenic factors found to affect children\’s psychological development.\” Only in a relationship full of love and warmth Only in the family can children feel safe and comfortable and establish a solid sense of security. PART.3 Parents\’ own low energy picture book \”Can you stop working and stay with me at home?\”, there is a touching dialogue: the child asked his mother: \”Is it all because of me that I work so hard?\” The mother replied: \” No, honey. Work is hard, no matter who does it, it will be hard. Just like lemons are sour, no matter who takes a bite, they will feel sour.\” My mother\’s answer was full of wisdom. Every generation has its own difficulties, and parents will also consume their energy due to unsatisfactory work, pressure in life, and personal emotional problems. But this mother drew a clear line. She made her children understand that there are some issues that adults need to face. She did not let her children get trapped in the emotions of adults. Instead, she conveyed the beautiful and positive side of life to her children. Emotionally immature parents can convey anxious feelings to their children, which may even frustrate the children and those around them. Not only that, they also treat some minor troubles as if they are the end of the world, complaining and frowning. Not only can they not solve the problem, but they can also easily cause children to form the same negative thinking, followed by tension and anxiety, and fall into a helpless and desperate mood. I read a story about a father who brought a cart of watermelons back. When his son saw it, he was playing beside the car. As a result, he accidentally opened the door handle at the back of the car, and a lot of watermelons fell down… The father immediately saw it. He rushed over and blocked the watermelon with his body, but even so, more than 20 watermelons were smashed. The father did not scold the child, but the mother pointed to the melon on the ground: \”This melon is really good, with red soil and black seeds.\” Immediately afterwards, the family worked together to clean up the mess. During this period, there was nothing imaginableYelling, no tears shed, no shame. From such parents, we see high energy. They are calm and collected, and are not prone to emotional breakdown over small things. Instead, they can look at problems from an optimistic and positive perspective, conveying positive energy to their children. To raise happy children, parents must know how to get rid of their own internal friction and anxiety. We always think that academic pressure causes children’s anxiety and depression. In fact, it is internal conflicts within the family and conflicts in interpersonal relationships that cause children’s energy consumption. As a parent, not only should you not increase the \”invisible consumption\” of your children too much, but you should also try to be a powerful parent. If we can get out of the predicament of low energy, we can set an example for our children to love life. Children who are full of energy can grow up with sunshine all the way.