What do American parents do when their children encounter setbacks?

Frustration education does not necessarily require sending children to a difficult place, nor does it rely on attending a certain training class. In life, children often encounter various setbacks… In the face of setbacks, how can we make children have the courage to challenge? Let’s take a look at what American parents do. Timely comfort from parents will increase the child\’s courage, allowing him to better experience the joy of self-breakthrough when facing uncertain challenges in life, especially in terms of physical fitness. Taking his children to swim, an American father was teaching his daughter how to swim in the next lane. The child is a little afraid of water, so the father tries to help her float in the water with aids. It can be seen that the little girl is very nervous and even a little shaking. The American father looked at her tenderly, leaned down patiently, and said the most repeated thing: \”You are safe, because I am catching you.\” \”My hand has not let go, you just need to close your eyes and enjoy It feels better in the water.\” For children, such words are like a placebo, letting them believe that no matter what happens, their parents will definitely be by their side. Children who feel secure are more likely to overcome their fears and are more willing to accept challenges. In addition to comforting and encouraging their children, American parents will also share similar experiences and feelings with their children, as well as how they adjusted their moods, started over, and faced new challenges with their children. One day I was visiting my husband\’s sister\’s house. As soon as I entered the door, I saw her 4-year-old daughter crying like a tearful person. When I asked, I found out that her mother had to decide to change her daughter to a new school because she was moving. . The child likes her current teacher and good friend very much. She repeatedly chants with a series of crying sounds: \”I\’m afraid, I don\’t want it.\” She is afraid of not being able to find the toilet, afraid that the teacher and new classmates will not talk to her, etc. . The mother on the side first sympathized with her feelings, \”I know you will be very scared, just like when I changed to a new company before, I also felt very scared.\” Then she gently stroked her head and comforted her: \”But then Well, I\’m not afraid anymore. Do you know why?\” The villain asked doubtfully: \”Why is that?\” The mother said, \”I was also afraid on the first day, but later I got to know many people and made many friends. Friends, everyone clapped their hands to welcome me, so naturally I’m not afraid anymore.” Through this kind of communication, after knowing that his parents had the same experience, the child seemed to feel more at ease. The child was emotionally satisfied and had the desire to go to a new school again. motivation. Children will also encounter setbacks in the process of challenges, and they are more likely to have negative emotions at this time. All parents have to do is to transform negative emotions into positive thinking, and turn what is impossible in their eyes into possible. A neighbor’s mother sent her child to learn in-line skating. At first, her son’s comprehension was good and progressed smoothly. After falling a few times, he understood the skill of balancing and stepping. But later he cried and begged his mother not to go. When he asked, he found out that in order to train their body coordination, the coach loosened the device to make the wheels easier to rotate. As a result, the children often fell on their backs. Negative emotions arose. The mother sat down with her child and began the motivation and problem-solving process. In fact, she had long seen that the villain wanted to have sex with her in his heart.Not wanting to struggle, showing uncertainty and lack of confidence. She encouraged her son to write down his thoughts, such as \”I\’m going to fall down\” or \”Everyone is going to laugh at me\”, and then asked why the child was like this? Analyze the son\’s emotions through his answers, and by analogy, find out what the problem is, help him overcome his fear, and stimulate the child\’s enthusiasm for challenges. According to the child\’s description of the class situation, she listened and recorded it on paper, listing options that her son might or might not be able to do, including attention, balance, body coordination, sense of speed, cornering and other skills. The content of the meeting is just ticked next to it, just like taking a questionnaire. Throughout the entire process, the mother listened attentively and sympathized with her son\’s feelings, allowing him to channel his negative emotions. She tried to let the children understand that there is a lot of flexibility between success and failure. If you fall, it doesn\’t necessarily mean you can\’t learn. It may be skills or other problems that need to be overcome. In the end, I found that what I had to overcome was the problem of not being attentive and being easily distracted during practice. The mother\’s soft words changed the child\’s thinking pattern and taught him to face it calmly. In fact, the most difficult challenge is not challenging others, but how to defeat yourself. When faced with challenges, don’t give up easily. Isn’t this what we adults should teach our children? Children\’s identification of their own abilities and their affirmation of themselves is undoubtedly a big challenge for them. Life is full of learning opportunities. It is most important for children to learn the abilities they need to live in this world through the little things in daily life. The children here have learned to eat and dress themselves at a young age, dare to sleep alone at night, and can attend summer camps alone. I have to say that this is related to the education they have received since childhood. On the weekend, my daughter played with her good friend Annie. When it was time to go home, Annie\’s mother came to pick her up. Annie quickly carried her schoolbag and water bottle, but found that she had forgotten to put on her coat. I hurriedly unloaded my things, and in my haste, the water bottle and school bag straps got tangled together. Annie asked her mother for help. The daughter on the side reached out to help and tried to pull the straps apart, but unfortunately she never succeeded. Adults can see the solution at a glance, just loosen the strap of the kettle. I couldn\’t help but want to help her, but Annie\’s mother stopped me. It doesn\’t take much to help, so why does Anne\’s mother choose to sit on the sidelines? Later I understood that Anne’s mother wanted her daughter to try it on her own! It didn’t matter even if she had to wait a little longer. Even if you still can\’t solve it in the end, it\’s not too late to take action. As a result, Anne figured out a way after a few minutes. She untied the strap of her schoolbag from the metal ring and threaded it through the strap of the kettle, so that it came loose. From this point of view, sometimes adults do not teach children immediately and let them believe in themselves, but instead cultivate children\’s challenging spirit. It’s just that it’s not easy to reach this level! I have observed that many American parents always wait patiently for their children to dress and pick up their own things when picking up and dropping off their children. To them, it is a normal thing. As Asian parents like us, we are always very entangled in our hearts. We can’t help but help our children more every time, thinking that this is the only way to help them grow smoothly.In order to achieve the goal successfully, but in this way, it virtually deprives the children of the spirit of challenge and loses the courage to face challenges. When encountering setbacks, do not force the child to try again immediately, but provide comfort and understanding; when he is at a loss, do not directly tell him what to do, but help him think positively and let the child solve it… – This is American parents’ secret weapon in cultivating their children’s spirit of challenge.