What do really good parents look like?

My friend Xiaoxiao’s daughter is only 8 years old and has just entered first grade. But the mother and daughter have already lived a busy life of rushing to various cram schools whenever they have free time. English, painting, musical instrument and other cram schools are already common. I heard that a colleague’s child was taking abacus class, and the next day I quickly signed one up for my own child. Sometimes I feel tired for the little guy. The childhood that should be full of happiness has no time or space for free play. So I asked Xiaoxiao, is it really useful to learn these things when my child is so young? Xiaoxiao said seriously: \”Actually, I don\’t think it\’s useful, but people around me are teaching their children this and that. If I don\’t keep up quickly, I always feel that I will be compared. I don\’t want my children to be worse than others.\” In the final analysis, it is still more trouble. Hidden behind the comparative mentality is an anxious heart and a hidden worry about oneself. It is not so much that I am afraid that the children I teach will not be as good as others, but that I am afraid that I will be compared with others. In fact, this kind of worry is often hidden in Xiaoxiao\’s heart before the child is born, but it becomes more obvious after having a child. Xiaoxiao has always cared about what others think of her and whether she can be at the forefront of her peers in everything. The underlying reason for being overly concerned is actually lack of self-confidence. This lack of self-confidence manifests itself in parenting as putting pressure on children in order to seek psychological comfort. Nana is a friend I met at the gym. She is completely different from Xiaoxiao. Nana will go to the gym whenever she has time and fill her free time. When other mothers talked about what kind of cram school they attended with their children today, what she talked about the most was where she went to play with her children today and what new things she saw. Her parenting attitude makes people feel natural and confident. She does not need various training classes to urge her children to run fast, nor does she need gorgeous certificates to prove anything. She is just as confident in her own figure, without being arrogant or arrogant. Accompany your children to grow up. What do really good parents look like? When psychiatrist Wu Yuebo participated in the \”I am a Speaker\” program, he once said: Drivers must have a driver\’s license before they can drive, and many professions must pass assessments before they can work. As for parents, they can start working without any training… Is love enough to educate children? It is not enough. Only by understanding the growth patterns of children can we have a good future. What needs education most in China is not the children, but the parents. Mo Yan said: \”Parents who only know how to love are not qualified, because hens can love too. What\’s more, the other side of true love is often the most cruel and cruel government. Parents must receive training and have considerable quality.\” Quality. The only guarantee is to never let up on yourself. Those successful parents are always moving forward and constantly improving their abilities and structure. They understand that after having children, they are no longer fighting for themselves, and there are children behind them who need their protection. Only a positive attitude can guide children to a better future. Good parents are learned. Most people who become parents for the first time start by imitating. 80% of the way we educate our children is learned from our parents. Our parents’ education method is the most common and original parenting template. Good for current parentsThe parenting experience is available at your fingertips. As long as you are thoughtful and willing to spend time and effort to learn, you will benefit from it. Take my parents as an example. Their original attitude towards my younger brother was that of a free-spirited person. They would only say a few words when he was disobedient, but they showed very little concern during normal times. This kind of education method that lacked love and skills finally broke out when my brother was in his rebellious period. His grades plummeted and his personality became reticent. It wasn\’t until the teacher found his parents that they realized there was something wrong with their previous education methods. It stands to reason that parents are already experienced parents in education, but they still need to continue to learn to become good fathers and mothers. Because for different children and different generations, education methods need to be continuously improved and updated. From then on, my mother began to pay attention to her tone and attitude when speaking to her younger brother, and my father also tried his best to be respectful, supportive and understanding. Normally, mothers spend a lot of time and energy following various parenting books, official accounts, and TV programs. After a year of adjustment, the way my parents get along with my younger brother has changed a lot, and my younger brother has become more cheerful, and his study status is gradually getting back on track. This is a real example of parents and children who have become better through learning that happened around me. The rate of return for learning to be a parent is actually very high. In the interaction between parents and children, a small positive change will have a big effect if it is continued. Similarly, if it is a bad relationship, it may only take a few times to push the parent-child relationship to a freezing point. But as long as you always maintain a sensitive heart while studying and always look at the relationship between yourself and your children with a critical attitude, then mistakes will be corrected in time and good practices will continue to be adhered to. In this way, we will have better and better children and better and better parents. Regardless of whether you have children or not, at the end of the day you are still you. Not to mention that children take up a lot of your study time. If you don’t have children, there must be many other annoying things in your life. The sum total is not much better than raising children. The arrival of a child does not mean that you and him will be inseparably bound together from now on. As long as your parents do not bind you artificially, you will still be you and he will still be him. When you become a parent, don’t forget that you were once a child. Only by thinking from someone else\’s perspective can empathy be integrated into every aspect of parenting. Don\’t repeat the injuries you have suffered on your children, and try to give your children more room to try out their beautiful little wishes. How to be a good parent is a subject worth learning for everyone. The essence of education is self-cultivation. When you grow up, you will cherish your parents more and understand how to accompany your children.