What do those kids who look great do at home?

The biggest \”enemy\” of Chinese children is \”other people\’s children.\” Not to brag, but other people do have some kids who look great. What do those kids who look great do at home? Zhuo Li, the lifelong honorary principal of Beijing Shijia Primary School and one of the top ten star principals in the country, has been teaching for more than 50 years. He observed that those \”bullfrog\” parents are indeed better at creating a good learning and growth environment for their children. For example, \”Ask your children\’s opinions on everything.\” \”, \”Let children see their own efforts and achievements\”, \”Create opportunities for children to show off their talents and progress\”, etc. Qinglanjun discovered that what the parents of \”Bullfrogs\” do can be summed up in four words: blowing, pulling, playing, and singing. 1 If “liking” is the driving force for us to invest in something, then “sense of achievement” is the strongest driving force for us to work hard to a certain stage. When it comes to learning, children are more likely to be confused than adults because it is difficult for them to see and preset the goals of their own efforts, and the goals described to them by their parents are often abstract or out of reach. At this time, it is important to help children find a \”sense of achievement\” and see the results of their own efforts so that they can gain strong motivation to continue. Qing Lanjun has a classmate who makes a short video of her daughter practicing piano every day and sends it to Moments with the caption \”He XX, on a certain day of the month, clocking in on the X day, lasting XX minutes\”. At first, some students thought it was a \”show to show off\” and expressed disdain and contempt in private. I chatted with this classmate last week and found out about her good intentions – her daughter Xiao Wei is a very introverted little girl who lacks self-confidence. She has been invited to perform on stage many times in some evening parties or activities organized by the school, but she But I have a bit of stage fright, fearing that my teachers and classmates will laugh at me if I don’t play well. One day before the National Day this year, after she posted a short video of Xiao Wei practicing piano to her circle of friends, she received many likes and compliments from uncles and aunts. After Xiao Wei saw it, her eyes lit up with excitement and she was very happy for a while. During that time, her enthusiasm for practicing piano suddenly increased. Seeing that this trick was very effective, my mother decided to continue to insist on such \”publicity\”. She made an agreement with Xiao Wei: \”You practice piano for 30 minutes every day, and I will be responsible for shooting a short video and sending it to Moments to \’check in\’.\” (In order to avoid disturbing too many people, she set it to be visible to family and close friends) The effect was really good. Amidst the \”praising\” from uncles and aunts from time to time, Xiao Wei practiced the piano non-stop for more than 30 days, and the more she practiced, the better she got. Energetic and self-confidence continues to improve. She plans to prepare a show for the school\’s New Year\’s Day party this year. The so-called \”blow\” is to create opportunities for children to show off their talents and progress. This will definitely make children feel more encouraged than empty verbal praise. Children\’s paintings, calligraphy practice, certificates for good grades, beautifully done tabloids, and clean and tidy homework are all the best decorations on the walls of your home. Sometimes, verbal praise and affirmation seem weak because they have been said many times, but an action of displaying it on the wall can make your child feel that you are proud of him without you having to say anything. 2 Teaching by example is worse than preaching through words.Parents\’ hands-on demonstration is the strongest attraction and pull. Instead of telling your children every day: You have to study hard, don’t be lazy, and you have to be polite, it’s better to show it to your children directly. Parents are born to be imitated by their children. Your children see every move, every gesture, and how you do it. This is his standard of behavior. There is a little girl who has never been able to learn English well. My mother was very anxious. She didn\’t learn English well back then and ended up only getting into junior college. So, the mother decided to learn English from scratch. The initial idea was simple: Only when you learn it yourself can you know how to help your children. Just as she said, this mother prepared three sets of teaching materials for herself: a set of Oxford Tree graded reading for mother tongue education in English-speaking countries, a set of New Concept English, and a set of English teaching materials for her children\’s schools. After comparison, she mainly chose Oxford Tree to follow up on her progress. She also referred to the grammar of New Concept English and compared it with the English books in her child\’s school to confirm her familiarity. Over the course of a year, my daughter saw with her own eyes how her mother learned to recite every morning and evening, and how she never forgot to compete with English while waiting to check out at the supermarket or waiting for the food to be served in a restaurant. She also discovered that many times her mother recited short words and phrases with her. I can remember it firmly after a few times, but my mother has to recite it for several more days… Even so, my mother persists. She also watches English cartoons with her daughter and speaks to her daughter in a stammering language. English story. Moreover, the mother also set a very tempting reward goal: if the mother and daughter can communicate in English on a daily basis, the whole family will go to the UK together! The little girl likes to study with her mother very much, and has a partner who is just like herself to go with her all the way. And from time to time, Mom still falls a little behind. By the beginning of second grade, my daughter successfully became the English class representative in her class. During the previous holiday, they went to England together as they wished. After coming back, my mother was very happy and said to her good friend: \”It\’s great to be able to speak directly in English. Although I can only speak the simplest daily expressions, I can ask directly if I want to. I can hear when others say hello to me.\” Yes, I can understand the fish and chips on the menu. It’s not like before, where I became mute as soon as I went abroad!” 3 The word “blow” must include “blow” and “like”, as well as “damage” and “bounce” . Most of today\’s children\’s conditions are not bad in all aspects, but they always go smoothly, which may not necessarily be good. If things always go well and there are no failures, the child\’s fragile psychology will slowly be finalized. When failure occurs suddenly, it is often caught off guard. In this sense, children need to fail. Wise parents always hope that their children will make some mistakes, and even create some \”artificial\” failures, and beat them appropriately so that they can temper their hard-working spirit in setbacks, inspire their courage to rise up, and improve their ability to reflect. For example, some children cannot fail when playing games and cry when they lose. This is a sign that frustration education is possible. Many parents like to \”let\” their children play games in exchange for their children\’s happiness. In fact, this is exactly missing an extremely important opportunity to teach children about frustration.good chance. Parents should intentionally and appropriately let their children taste \”failure\” in games. Let the children have a taste of the joy of rising from \”failure\” and then achieving success. This is much more meaningful than \”losing\” to your children all at once. There once was a classmate named Yang whose father was a leader. Classmate Yang went around showing off how good his chess skills were. He used the three \”rooks, horses, and cannons\” to kill his father and his father\’s secretary. As a result, when compared with his peers, he would only cry because no one in the class could play chess. 4 It is human nature to sing for entertainment. A large part of our hard-earned money is contributed to the entertainment industry, watching TV, watching movies, singing karaoke… But the strange thing is that many parents are immersed in entertainment themselves, but hope that their children can Insulated from entertainment. Perhaps these parents believe that children have self-control and willpower that are far superior to adults and can fight against the natural instincts that all humans have, so they hope that their children can spend every minute except eating and sleeping on learning. What parents most want to see is that their children stay at their desks, never wandering off, reading books, playing games, or dozing off until bedtime. In fact, this way of learning can only produce fools. Long-term, uninterrupted study without rest and entertainment must be inefficient. Parents can tie their children\’s bodies to the desk, but they cannot tie their children\’s minds to the desk. Wise parents will not overly restrict their children\’s entertainment. If necessary, they should encourage their children to play and even play with them. Bai Yansong once told a story at Xiamen University that the night of winning the World Cup fell on a Sunday. Although he had to go to school the next day on Monday, he decided to let his son watch the game. In the 88th minute, my son’s favorite team fell behind 1:2, and he cried; then he equalized 2:2; in the 93rd minute, he came back to win 3:2! “Is there any other lesson in Chinese textbooks that can compare to This time I stayed up late watching football to better learn \’never give up\’?\” Bai Yansong said. Therefore, even though the child did not sleep until two or three o\’clock that day, Bai Yansong believed that the child would be more serious than usual in class the next day. Parents should leave enough entertainment space for their children. When parents often persuade their children to play, believe it or not, the children become more interested in learning and are less willing to leave their desks.