What does a self-disciplined child look like?

There is a neighbor in my hometown whose little granddaughter is in poor health and is often troubled by this. My parents go out to work, and my grandparents take care of me at home. The old man dotes on his children very much. If he doesn\’t eat, he is afraid that the children will be hungry, so he keeps buying snacks. The more snacks there are, the less children will eat, which becomes a vicious cycle. I remember last summer, we met our child’s grandmother buying crushed ice in the mall. I bought more than thirty sticks at one time, and I said this was enough for more than a month. The old man smiled bitterly and said: \”It\’s still more than a month, and that guy in my house will eat it all in less than ten days.\” \”Don\’t you have a rule that you can\’t have more than one stick a day?\” \”I told you, but it\’s useless. She is very smart and knows Open the refrigerator door by yourself. If you don\’t give it, you\’ll lie on the ground and cry. There\’s nothing you can do.\” The old man has been completely controlled by his granddaughter through crying. This kind of parenting style often causes children to develop many bad habits. Because without rules, children cannot truly exercise self-discipline. It is often good for children to be self-disciplined, and it will not be so difficult for adults raising children. Some people will say, \”Stop being ridiculous and let your children manage themselves. Oh my God!\” In fact, as long as parents guide their children carefully from an early age and respect their children\’s nature, they can let their children learn to manage themselves when they are 3 years old. Don\’t think that your child is too young to be sensible. Everything will change when he grows up. Many problems have not been psychologically guided since childhood, and they will only go further and further away from the normal path when they grow up. In the process of children\’s psychological development, there is a sensitive period that is particularly suitable for cultivating self-discipline. When children reach the age of 3, they often enter a stubborn and sensitive period, which is a critical period for the cultivation of order. Children during this period tend to act very self-consciously, but if their parents understand his behavior, understand from his perspective, and cooperate with him, the child will calm down. Otherwise, he is crying and must make you listen to him. Many parents feel that they cannot give in and must not be spoiled. But during this period of psychological development, parents must respect their children\’s behaviors and needs. Because children, under the influence of a sense of order, often think that the world exists according to a specific order. If parents can respect this characteristic of their children, take advantage of the situation, try to give their children a regular schedule, arrange a clean and orderly home environment, and protect their children\’s property rights and sense of belonging, it will be easier to cultivate their children\’s sense of order and rules. Sometimes, respect seems to be spoiling the child, but it is not the case. Take my son\’s behavior as an example. When he was three years old, when we went out, he would open the door by himself. Others could not open the door, so he had to close it and try it again. Sometimes when we are in a hurry, my wife will blame him. But I always say let him do it and do what he wants. At this time, the son feels that he is understood and will be very happy. My mother would laugh at me, \”You can handle your child, but we can\’t.\” Of course, this is what my mother always said. For example, there was a time when she came to help me. I turn on the TV every morning and let my son sit there and watch cartoons. But I will set the time. At first it was 30 minutes each time, and then we agreed not to turn on the TV in the morning, but to go outside and play, and then we could watch it for a while in the afternoon. In fact, my son was very happy to play outside and he immediately agreed.This agreement. If you don\’t set rules, you will develop bad habits. Therefore, psychological respect and understanding are very important, and behavioral rules are equally important. This is what I understand as freedom and rules: freedom that is respected spiritually, with enough love; with appropriate rules in behavior, so that children can truly be self-disciplined. Because freedom and self-discipline are like two weights at both ends of the scale. No matter which way you tilt it, you will lose balance. If you say, self-disciplined children will become very timid or afraid to express their needs. Otherwise, self-disciplined children will become more confident. Because they can manage themselves, through such behaviors, they often strengthen their identification with themselves. The recognition of self-worth is the basis of self-confidence. If a person looks down on himself, he will become inferior and give up on himself. In fact, we can understand it by looking at the behavior and psychology of the adult world. A person with a high degree of self-discipline can always prioritize things and will not lie down until the afternoon only to remember to forget an important appointment. People who cannot take care of themselves often feel bored, empty, confused and helpless. A child is an independent individual, and the same is true. Moreover, there is an important issue that parents must understand. Cultivating children\’s sense of rules does not mean to rely on severe discipline or beating and scolding. So, don’t worry about raising a timid child with low self-esteem. Because of the love you give them, they continue to adjust themselves and become better and stronger. I discovered that my son has done something recently that made me see the power of self-discipline. One thing is to watch TV or play games. I never banned him from these electronic products. Because this era is the age of electronic information, they are late and have to integrate into the trend of this era. So don’t do anything that is unstoppable. What I can do is try to help my children manage themselves. The afternoon before yesterday, I had to take a break because I stayed up late writing. So let him turn on the TV and watch cartoons for a while. We agreed to watch three episodes and then I went to bed. When I got up halfway, I found that the TV had been turned off and my son was reading his book alone. \”Why didn\’t you watch it?\” I asked. \”Didn\’t you say it was good to watch three episodes? I turned it off.\” The son replied. \”Oh! I remembered it. It\’s very good. Keep it up.\” Hearing his father\’s encouragement to him, the child was happy inside. And I find that children often have a stronger sense of order than we do. Another time I took him out to eat. Because after waiting for a long time, the food was not served. I went to buy mango juice. After filling three glasses, I said let’s drink some first because I was a little hungry. But my son refused to drink. He said he wanted to enjoy the delicious food slowly after finishing the meal. At this time, I was surprised, because this is his favorite drink, and he could resist drinking it. I persuaded him, \”It\’s okay to have a few sips. I\’ll have another drink later after eating.\” \”No, I want to drink after eating.\” My wife said, \”Isn\’t this what you agreed, you can only drink after eating.\” \”It\’s true, because when my son met at a party before, the children would fight for drinks together. As a result, after a few drinks, I couldn\’t eat anymore. So I remind him every time, \”Eat first! Eat when you are full.Enjoy the delicious food. \”It has become a habit so far, and no matter what we say, it will not change easily. The same is true for eating chicken legs. At my grandma\’s house, when she saw that her son liked to eat them, she gave him several. He stopped after eating one. . Grandma thought I was scaring him away from eating. She pushed me away, and then quietly said to the child: \”Don\’t be afraid. When you go to grandma\’s house, you can eat as much as you want.\” \”Grandma, I won\’t eat, because I still have to eat, and I can only eat one at a time.\” \”In fact, self-disciplined children do not need threats and intimidation from their parents, because they know what to do. Only the parents\’ intentions can make their children more self-disciplined. Only a parent who understands self-discipline can raise a truly conscious child. In self-discipline On this road of self-discipline, parents must first set a good example. It can even be said to be a hard work, because the road to self-discipline requires courage and determination. I remember one time, I turned on the TV and watched a program in the morning. My son He ran over and asked, \”Dad, why did you watch TV in the morning? \”\”oh! There is something very important on TV today. Dad wants to watch it and turn it off after a while. \”Later, I tried to avoid watching TV within the time set by us. If you can\’t do it yourself, don\’t ask your children to do it. Some people will ask, \”Do I have to give up myself for the sake of my children? \”I just want to answer: \”Being a parent does not require you to give up on yourself, but you must give up a lot of bad things about yourself. Because parents are not a title, but a responsibility. \”So, parents who are addicted to mahjong every day, or play games on their mobile phones when they get home. Don\’t blame your children for not studying hard, because of your own chaotic life. You can\’t give your children enough attention and the power of role models. Remember: self-disciplined parents , no child will be bad. On this road, watch each other, grow together, and become better and better.