What does it mean when a teacher says, \”The child is quite smart, but he just doesn\’t study hard\”

Parents’ meeting in the new semester. My friend who used to work with me in publishing was named again, and he posted the teacher\’s words in the group for us to read. Finally, he said that in order to comfort him and lighten the atmosphere, the teacher said to him: \”The child is quite smart, but he just doesn\’t study hard.\” He said that when he heard this sentence, he felt a little dumbfounded. He didn\’t know what the teacher meant. Are you having great hopes for your children, or are you hinting that you need to take more care of your children? The group was noisy and gave him advice. Several mothers said they had received the same comfort. It seems that the frequency of the teacher\’s words is really high. But how big is the effect? I think telling parents is a hint. The correct interpretation should be: \”The child…doesn\’t study hard.\” You should take care of it and don\’t always rely on us. But this sentence cannot be heard by children. Because children often interpret it as: \”The child is very smart…\” Then he feels that he is smart, but he just doesn\’t study hard, and I just don\’t want to learn. I have a friend who has been ranked first in the class every time since he was a child, and has been a class monitor and a student cadre. We all envied him at that time. But then he didn\’t go to college, and he didn\’t even finish high school. Once I met him at a wedding in my hometown and chatted for a while. His son, who is in kindergarten, was playing there with his mobile phone. The side was surrounded by friends. \”Your son is really smart! He is so young and can play with mobile phones so easily,\” said an old classmate. \”Don\’t say that, don\’t let him hear it.\” My friend said urgently. He said that when he was in high school, the most common thing his class teacher said to him was: \”You don\’t study seriously now, and I feel sorry for you, you have such a smart mind.\” He was quite surprised when he heard that. , but my heart is full of pride. He thought of his clever moves, such as how he cleverly used the school\’s dormitory checking loophole to successfully get out and surf the Internet. Thinking that I can always solve problems easily, I just don\’t bother to do it. He carried this pride with him until his senior year in high school. That year he actually chose to give up the college entrance examination. His parents were very angry at his decision and asked him why? He said he wanted to do something and didn\’t want to go to college and waste his good time. Because he said that some of his cousins ​​were doing well in Guangdong and wanted him to come over. Later, his parents couldn\’t help him. In fact, he said that he just didn\’t want to face the result of failure. Because I couldn’t even pass two of the mock exams. But what he regrets most now is not reading more books. He said that the head teacher at that time may have encouraged me, but he made himself poisoned. In my youth, I was indulged in self-righteous wisdom. I feel like the world is up to me. But I am afraid to prove myself, because in that case, I will show my weakness. This is again something every \”smart person\” wouldn\’t do. Why do these smart people choose this way? There is a famous psychology experiment that can give us an answer. Carol Dweck, a well-known developmental psychologist at Stanford University, and her team have been studying the impact of praise on children for the past 10 years. They conducted a study on 400 fifth-grade students in 20 schools in New York. The results of this study shocked the academic community. In the experiment, they asked children to independently complete a series of puzzlesFigure tasks. First, the researchers called one child out of the classroom at a time to take the first round of IQ testing. The test questions are very simple puzzles that almost all children can complete fairly well. After each child completed the test, the researcher told him the score and included a word of praise. The researchers randomly divided the children into two groups. One group of children received a compliment about IQ, such as, \”You are very talented at puzzles, you are very smart.\” The other group of children received a sentence about hard work. Praise, for example, \”You must have worked very hard just now, so you performed very well.\” Later: As the difficulty of the experiment increased, the difficulty of the puzzle challenge also continued to increase. In the group that received praise for IQ, almost all children chose the corresponding Simple puzzle. In the group that was praised for their efforts, most children chose the more difficult puzzle. The results show that praising children for their hard work will give them a sense of control. Children will believe that success is in their own hands. On the contrary, praising children for being smart is tantamount to telling them that success is not within their control. In this way, when they face failure, they are often helpless. And Dweck found that children who think they are smart often reason like this: I am smart, so I don’t have to work so hard. They even think that trying hard is stupid and means admitting to everyone that they are not smart enough. This is a psychological portrayal of many smart children. \”This child is very smart but he doesn\’t pay attention to his studies.\” If this sentence comes from the teacher\’s mouth, then you should pay attention to the teacher\’s implicit meaning. Many times teachers are tactfully reminding parents that children need to be attentive and parents need to observe them carefully and discipline them effectively. For example, is it because I am not focused enough and often violates school rules? Is it because I am not serious about studying and am often mischievous? If parents do not give guidance to their children, then over time, the teacher may give up on your child. But many parents are not aware of this problem yet. A mother said to me: Dad Yu, my child is very smart, but he just can’t sit still and often runs out of class at school. I am often criticized by the teacher, what should I do? Another mother said: My child has read a lot of picture books and listened to a lot of stories at home. In kindergarten, he knew everything the teacher told him, but then he felt that he had no interest in learning. Isn\’t he too smart? Being smart is of course a good thing, but I am afraid that my parents will overemphasize this talent. Even the children feel that they have such talents, so they feel complacent. Because those children who believe talent is the key to success unconsciously underestimate the importance of hard work. In our time, there is no shortage of smart people. Our children, because of the stimulation of various information, can promote their development. In terms of intellectual development, they are better than those of us before. But now there are fewer and fewer children who can sit still and calm down. Parents must know that a person must be \”focused and attentive\” to study and do well. When your child achieves something, please remember to encourage your child\’s efforts instead of praising my baby for being so smart. Little Xiaoyu rarely hears me praise him for being smart, even if he often does something that surprises me.If he is surprised by his creation or expression, I will tell him to keep working hard and see what else he can do. But I will always give him positive praise for his efforts. For example, you worked hard to put all the books in the box today, which is very good. You did a great job dressing yourself quickly today. Dad sees that you have been reading quietly for a long time today, please keep it up. When he encountered difficulties while playing chess, he said to me: \”Dad, I really don\’t know how to do it.\” \”It\’s okay, Dad believes in you. Let\’s take a closer look and see how to play.\” When he repeatedly practiced the English words, the pronunciation Still not on time, he lowered his head. I would encourage him: \”Your next few times are much better than before, try again.\” I often tell him, Dad likes your hard work and diligence! Because dad thinks that intelligence is not as reliable as hard work. And in my heart, I hope that my child can become a hard-working person, even if he is not that smart. And you? Dear friends.