What happens to the women who become virgins?

My best friend Xiaoya invited me to get together at our favorite hotpot restaurant in college. Facing the hot hotpot, I had a strong appetite and ordered a lot of dishes, but Xiaoya looked uninterested. I was so amused: \” What’s wrong, you’re paying to come and see me for dinner?!” She said angrily: “I can’t feel his love for me. Why is it that the more virtuous I am, the more indifferent he becomes? To tell you the truth, I’m thinking of divorce. !\” I immediately understood what was going on. The man Xiaoya was talking about was Xiaoya\’s husband. I replied to her while putting vegetables in the pot: \”Because you have lowered your position too low. In order to make him feel at ease about the family, you became a hands-off shopkeeper, but slowly he got used to being lazy and getting used to everything. Don’t worry about it. Talking about you, how long has it been since you picked up your favorite paintbrush? How long has it been since you brushed your face properly? And how long has it been since you took a quick trip like in college? \” I had reminded her of this issue many times in a subtle way, but she was stuck in the trap of self-sacrifice and could not extricate herself. This time she even thought about getting divorced, so I had no choice but to point it out directly. \”Isn\’t this how a woman should be when she gets married?\” Xiaoya asked puzzledly. \”Who said that?! Why should a woman shed her skin after getting married?! Entering into marriage does not mean burying oneself, nor is it a one-sided effort, but requires two people to work together to maintain it. And, children They are the glue of marriage, but you don’t give them the opportunity to enjoy parent-child time. Bottomless giving will not only not make him love you more, but will bring about alienation and irresponsibility. If you don’t change, he may become more Go further and further.\” Xiaoya and her husband met during college club activities. When Xiaoya\’s husband first started chasing Xiaoya, he was really caring and sweet to us singles. She usually buys food and water to accompany her to class. She even washes Xiaoya\’s clothes in winter because she is afraid that Xiaoya\’s hands will get cold. During festivals, she sends flowers, buys clothes, and eats big meals. When Xiaoya is in a bad mood, her boyfriend will give her gentle words of advice after crying. Xiaoya said that her parents had never pampered her so much, so she slowly accepted her husband. After graduation and marriage, Xiaoya\’s mother said that as someone\’s daughter-in-law, she would no longer be the same as before. She must be virtuous, hard-working and sensible. Listening to her mother\’s words, Xiaoya began to change herself, no longer willful, no longer coquettish, no longer aloof. She pulls up her waist-length hair, faces the sky every day, washes her hands and makes soup, manages the relationship with her parents-in-law, and is responsible for all the big and small things at home. She tries her best to be a virtuous wife, just so that her husband can devote herself wholeheartedly to her. Work. After having the child, her mother-in-law was not in good health and could not help with the care, so Xiaoya quit her job and took care of the child full-time at home. She is fully responsible for the children\’s eating, drinking, sleeping, transportation, and homework tutoring when they go to school. Whenever her husband wanted to intervene, Xiaoya would say, \”Just do your job well, and I will do the rest.\” Ordinarily, Xiaoya\’s husband should be extremely grateful to have such a virtuous wife. But on the contrary, gradually his interest in intervening in family affairs faded away, and he turned the house into an inn, where he only paid to eat and sleep. He no longer treats Xiaoya warmly and coldly, and he no longer creates surprises for her, because he has become accustomed to her dedication. She is his wife, so everything she does is natural. dailyAfter get off work, he plays games, has parties, chats, and never interferes in family matters. I remember one time I was a guest at Xiaoya\’s house. He was swiping his tablet and said: I don\’t need to get involved in everything at home. What can I do if I don\’t play games? I don\’t feel like going home. At this time, Xiaoya not only had to cook, but also ran to the living room to deal with the sofa where the child had spilled milk. I told her about something I had witnessed. My sister\’s department store is located at the entrance of a high-end community. All the people in the community are wealthy bosses. At that time, I was helping in a supermarket, and there would often be a middle-aged man in a suit and leather shoes, driving a BMW, parked in front of the supermarket, buying two heads of garlic, two green onions, or a bottle of soy sauce, always some odds and ends. . My sister joked: \”The boss lady forgot to buy soy sauce and vinegar again?\” \”Yeah, it\’s not reassuring to always be so careless.\” Although the tone was complaining, her face was full of doting. My sister told me that this man ran several factories, but he was very kind to his wife and children, and he was very family-oriented. I have seen his wife, who is elegantly dressed and speaks softly and generously. She is definitely not the kind of little girl who doesn\’t rely solely on men for everything. Instead, there is great wisdom in her speech and behavior. During her conversation with her sister, I learned that she worked in an accounting firm and held an important position. One night we were all closing the stall and she just got off work. My sister advised her: \”The boss lady\’s family is so rich, why should she work? Just count the money at home at ease!\” \”That won\’t work, it will make you suffocate. Women, you have to have your own career.\” She bought a few things, and it should be no problem to carry them upstairs alone, but she called and said: \”Husband, I\’m in the supermarket downstairs, there are too many things to carry. !\” After a while, her husband came and complained that she didn\’t call him to pick her up from work because it was too dangerous to drive in such dark weather. She followed her husband lovingly and turned around to make a face at us. Although she was nearly forty years old, she didn\’t feel out of place at all. A smart woman knows when to be strong and when to be weak. And a responsible man knows when to work and when to take care of his family. Men take care of their families not only out of concern for their families, but also because of their strong sense of responsibility for their own lives. The addition of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and the participation of pots and pans will not only not lower their status or delay their work, but will add more vividness to life, making their love for their families stronger and giving them a sense of hard work. Confidence. Many people think that men have to work hard for their careers and make money, and do not have the time or energy to take care of their families. Women should consider everything for men, such as housework, children, and human relations, and circle around these things like a top to eliminate men\’s worries. This old-era concept of marriage obviously does not apply to today\’s society, so it can easily lead to unstable marriage relationships. There are also women who surround themselves with a halo of the Holy Mother, and complain while giving: their selflessness, their husband\’s incomprehension, their children\’s disobedience… The appearance of being bitter and resentful every day will not only not add points, but will erase all the points. of credit. Children are the glue of the family, and women should give men the opportunity to be intimate with their children. Never take everything into account. While you are reducing the man\’s pressure, you are also depriving him of hisThe family time he spends with his children makes him an \”invisible dad\” in name only. The quality of the relationship between a child and his father is particularly important for the healthy growth of the child and the establishment of a good family relationship. Don\’t think that letting men relax and stop doing housework is the best reward for men\’s hard work. The consequences of excessive maternal love for men are: men have no feelings for their families, and women have no sense of security for men. Of course, we cannot cling to men like parasites, relying on men for everything, and following him around all the time. But we must guide him to personally participate in family affairs, feel the warmth of home, and give him opportunities to realize his value at home, so that he will have more attachment and love for home. Go home from work and buy the ingredients for tonight with him, feel the warmth brought by the collision of pots and pans, and clean every corner of the house together… If the toilet is broken, let him fix it; if the electricity bill is gone, let him Go and pay; if you want to eat some snacks, ask him to buy them back… Don\’t dislike him for mopping the floor uncleanly and the food tastes bad. You just need to put the mask on next to him, drink milk, and say adoringly: Wow, my dear. Great! Such a family life full of oil and salt is what men look forward to most after work. Xiaoya nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. I hope she really listened to her heart, changed this state, and saved her marriage.