What is it like to have \”obedient\” parents?

One night, my son lost his temper in the supermarket. Because his mother and I have been discussing whether to buy the things on the shelf. He called me loudly many times, but I still ignored him. He was starting to get upset. When he pulled me angrily, we both realized that we were wrong. I told him: \”Say it again, Dad, listen. This time we will only listen to you, okay?\” But he stopped talking. She told me angrily, \”I told you and you didn\’t listen.\” I said my parents didn\’t hear me, and I was sorry. I apologized to him, and it took the little guy a long time to forgive me. We always like to find reasons for ourselves. Many times they say they didn’t hear it. And sometimes I feel that what the child says is insignificant. Parents always like to tell their children: You have to be obedient! But I rarely reflect on whether I am an \”obedient\” parent. A survey on teenagers this year found that more than 30% of parents chat with their children while playing on their mobile phones, nearly 20% have no time to chat with their children, and nearly 10% are unwilling to listen to their children. Nearly 80% of children are willing to chat with their father, and nearly 90% of children are willing to chat with their mother. The reasons why children are reluctant to chat with their father are that they feel not understood, they always talk about studying, they are always criticized, they have nothing to say, and they always make many demands. Too many of our parents talk too much and listen too little, or even don’t listen. Too many people just want to hear what they want to hear. So I thought about controlling the child. In some families, the children come home and want to say something to their parents, but are stopped before they can even speak. \”Hurry up and do your homework!\” \”Hurry up and go to bed, you have to go to school tomorrow!\” \”I have something to do now, I will talk about it tomorrow!\” Then there is no result. I hope the child will just execute the commands like a robot according to the program he programmed. And the scariest thing is that the child may want to say something seriously. But he found that his parents were staring at his mobile phone intently, without even looking at him. Can you imagine the child\’s mood? Such communication only makes the person speaking feel ignored. If you do this too often, your child will stop talking to you. Sometimes, parents feel that their children do not understand, or they do not listen to their children out of a position of protecting their children. But the damage was ignored. A friend told a story. That time he needed surgery because of a small tumor. The family was discussing the surgery, and their 4-year-old daughter overheard. He asked his mother worriedly: \”Dad is going to have an operation. Does he need to cut his belly with a knife?\” The child\’s mother was afraid that the child would be worried, so she ignored it and said to the child: \”It\’s okay. This is an adult matter. You go and play.\” It\’s yours.\” After a while, the daughter came back and asked her father: \”Dad, will it hurt if you do the surgery?\” At this time, he heard it, ignored it, and continued to discuss with his wife. When they finished their discussion. Only then did I realize that my daughter was crying quietly alone in the room. At this time, he thought it was funny, so he said to his daughter with a smile: \”What\’s wrong with you! Come, daddy, give me a hug.\” Unexpectedly, she cried louder. He also heard the child sobbing and saying, \”Dad, don\’t do the surgery. If you die, I won\’t have a father.\” Only then did he realize that he didn\’t listen to the child properly, which had caused so much harm to her. She just cares about her father\’s safety and wants toWhat it would be like to know what\’s really going on. Many times, children talk to you to determine how you are feeling? Do you love him? Because this is a way of establishing a sense of security, they need their parents\’ love and attention. There are also too many parents who feel that their children’s words are insignificant. So just deal with it casually. It is because of parental neglect that children are often harmed. I took my children home for the holidays some time ago. It just so happened that my aunt came back, and my son loved playing with her. That night, my aunt went to a friend\’s house to play. When the little guy finished listening to the story, said good night and got ready to go to bed. He asked: \”When will aunt come back?\” \”She will be back in a while.\” I answered casually. Unexpectedly, after a while he asked again, \”When will aunt come back?\” It seemed that he was not satisfied with my answer. \”I think she won\’t come back until midnight. I will open the door for her. You can go to sleep first.\” After a while, we thought he fell asleep. Unexpectedly, he asked again, \”When will aunt come back?\” At this time, his mother said to him, \”When aunt will come back, it\’s none of your business. Just go to bed.\” Hearing what his mother said, he cried aggrievedly. At this time I realized that we did not really understand what he said. He just wanted a definite answer, and more importantly, he wanted to know when he could see his aunt. So this time I put down what I was doing, walked over, lay next to him and said to him: \”Auntie is still playing at her friend\’s house. It\’s safe. Don\’t worry. She should be back in an hour. You will be back tomorrow.\” You can see her when you wake up in the morning, I promise you!\” At this time he nodded. \”Go to sleep, get up early tomorrow morning, and go play with your aunt.\” When my parents listened to my words carefully, they got the answer they wanted, and fell asleep quickly. Please discover the child and listen to the child\’s heart. God has given every parent a task: to take a snail for a walk. You may be slow enough, and the snail has tried its best to crawl, but only a little. So he urged it and scolded it. The snail said apologetically: I really tried my best! And you couldn\’t hear it at all, because you thought he had to go faster. Parents are accustomed to using their own standards to judge and restrain their children. As for the child, he has his own rhythm and talent. If your child is behaving strangely. Then we need to carefully understand the reasons behind the child\’s behavior. Never force your child to submit by beating, scolding or stopping. Because there is a legitimate reason behind every \”abnormal\” behavior of a child. Often it\’s to arouse parents\’ attention. Children see the world differently than we do. I remember one time when I was taking a bus with my children, my son insisted on being held by me. I often tell him to be independent, a little man, and to exercise more. He usually holds up very well. When walking outside, he doesn\’t ask me to hold him even for a long distance. What happened today? How can you ask me to hug you? I firmly refused to hug him. But when he makes a noise, I get a little anxious and get angry. Fortunately, I still controlled my emotions. I squatted down to comfort him, but crying in public disturbed other people. Unexpectedly, the moment I squatted down, I understood how he felt. From his perspective, there were legs all around, thighs and hands. There are also various corners of bags rubbing against your face.. This weak body was wrapped in it and could not even breathe. At this time I understood the reason why my son was crying. After that time, I saw beautiful scenery. When I tell my child excitedly, I will squat down and put my head next to his head to see if I can see it from his angle. Many times, children really can’t see what we see. Parents often say that they should love their children well. Then we must be closer to the world we see in our children’s eyes. The children are still young, so we can only rely on our efforts. Listen to your child like a child. If you can, treat your child like this: Squat with your child, or lie down next to him. Play games with your children and share each other’s little secrets. As a child, we can understand, and he will tell you many, many secrets. If your children understand what you say, they will also understand you better than you think. Remember to hug him often, encourage him, and listen to what he has to say. Our children\’s love and trust in us is more important than anything else. Listening to children is really a knowledge worth studying. Because the words of children are not the words of us adults. Their words have a special code that requires understanding parents to decode. Be careful of self-righteousness and power, which will only cause spiritual harm to children and lose the joy of growing up with them. What is it like to have \”obedient\” parents? For children, it is sweet love.