What is more important than grades is children’s views on marriage and love

Today is Valentine\’s Day, and a piece of news surfaced on the Internet. Two 19-year-old Chinese students in Canada dueled over a girl, and one of them was beaten to death. The girl was always there during the duel, but one of the boys wanted to give up in the middle, but she kept instigating him, and eventually the tragedy happened. Two handsome foreign students, one was seriously injured and died, and the other faces an indefinite prison sentence. As for the young girl who was the instigator, she continued her life without any involvement. When news like this comes out, some people must think that I am going to criticize young girls again. No, I don’t want to say too much about girls this time. What I want to say is these two boys. There are so many good girls in the world, why would you spend your precious youth on such a person? As outsiders, we don’t know who is right and wrong behind the duel incident, but a very crucial point cannot be ignored, that is, the girl instigated her current boyfriend to beat her ex-boyfriend. She instigated her, and the silly boy really rushed out. A 19-year-old child is basically an adult. Where is his basic judgment? Why did he just let the girl instigate him? When the tragedy happened, many people criticized the girl for being a monster. What I thought more about was why two such handsome boys had to ignore the good things in life and fight for a girl. Photos of the girl have been exposed online. She has a new and new human shape, is beautiful and sexy, and is indeed attractive to young boys. However, not all boys will like such a girl. Character is destiny, and for young people, their outlook on marriage and love is also destiny. In the past few years, I have written about many bizarre examples of witches. Most of them were liked by people born in the 60s and 70s, but many people born in the 80s and 90s disagreed. I thought about it carefully, and I realized that there might indeed be some shortcomings in expression. There were so many weird examples of temptresses that I was suspected of beating all the young girls to death with a stick. In fact, there are many new women with good conduct, culture, knowledge and self-cultivation. For example, I know a beautiful teacher born in the 1980s. Teacher Bao is a psychological counselor, very nurturing, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is extremely good. Her mother-in-law is blind, and she focuses on audio production just so that blind people like her can listen to audio books. Once when we were talking about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Teacher Bao said that her husband had a bit of a bad temper and his relationship with her mother-in-law was average. On the contrary, it was only after he got married and had the mediation of his daughter-in-law that the relationship with his mother improved. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship and are very considerate to their relatives. During the Spring Festival that just passed, Teacher Bao spent time in the hospital. Her grandmother was hospitalized due to illness, and she personally accompanied her. She often posted some positive thoughts about the various situations in the ward in her circle of friends. Within the family, he respects the elderly and loves the young. Outside the family, Teacher Bao is enthusiastic about public welfare and uses his influence to help poor children in remote mountainous areas of Yunnan. Before the Spring Festival, Teacher Bao express delivered walnuts and other local products from Yunnan to me, telling me that these mountains were sent to her by sponsors. Some time ago, I was writing a special series on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Teacher Bao mentioned that although she tried her best, her parents-in-law were old after all, and occasionally they had different views from their daughter-in-law. Every time at this time, my husband would uncontrollably get angry with his parents: \”What else do you want from such a good wife?\” Teacher Bao dissuaded her., the husband would hug her and apologize non-stop: \”I\’m sorry, wife, you are so good, I feel a sense of crisis every day, and I am always worried that you will not want me.\” This is not a romantic drama, this is a real example that happened in reality. In such a case, do you think Teacher Bao would be a resentful woman? Will her husband not love her or be considerate of her? Will parents-in-law instigate their son to divorce? Will many of the so-called injuries of new women happen to her? As I write this, I guess many mothers with sons can’t sit still. Please give me a dozen of such a good girl. But, dear, there are no such good girls. However, are you sure that your son will like this type of girl? In the process of writing the series about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I can understand the criticism from young women, but what I can’t understand is that some boys born in the 1990s also criticized me. A boy left a message: When I get married, I want my wife to be my treasure. I will never be at odds with my wife because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Now is a new era. Parents should have a sense of boundaries and not disturb their children\’s lives because of their own needs. A male reader left a message on Toutiao: \”My parents paid for the down payment of the house when I got married. After marriage, my salary was several times that of my wife. I was responsible for buying a car and paying off the mortgage. My wife spends 30,000 yuan on cosmetics and 30,000 yuan on clothes every year.\” Ten thousand yuan, she doesn’t cook at home, doesn’t wash clothes, and doesn’t even wash her underwear. I can’t bear to let her do these things, and I’m grateful for her high emotional intelligence…” I’m particularly curious, if she doesn’t even wash her underwear, then who does all the housework in the family? What to do? Is it possible that there is a nanny? After repeated questioning, I found out that there was no nanny and all the housework in the house was done by my mother-in-law. When young girls see such a husband, will they raise their arms and shout: Give me a dozen? How many mothers would feel as sad as water after seeing this. A son treats his own mother as a mother-in-law for the sake of his precious daughter-in-law, and he is so proud when he says it. How can you expect him to repay his mother\’s kindness with such a weird thing? Regarding children\’s education, fractionalism has always been the mainstream. But when their children really grow up, many parents will find another problem. Excellent grades can indeed change the social environment in which their children live, but it does not necessarily guarantee that their children will have a happy life in the future. The views on marriage and love held by many high-minded men or women are shocking. Because they are educated and knowledgeable, some young people tend to have a high self-esteem and often present facts and reason to talk about human nature and the development of the times. Knowledge has armed their minds and at the same time allowed them to destroy the traditional virtues that have been passed down for thousands of years. In the eyes of many highly educated academics, the center of the world is only themselves and their loved ones. When they have children, this center will extend to their children. Everyone else, including parents and siblings, are outsiders. If his parents and siblings disturb him, it means he has no sense of boundaries, and he is kidnapping them with family affection. In this regard, sons are better than daughters. It is mainstream for daughters to still keep their parents in their hearts after marriage. However, they only recognize that they have parents and do not allow their husbands to have parents. If a lover accepts such an unequal treaty, he or she will love you and me well. If you don\’t agree, you will struggle with various conflicts. Many women even divorce because of their husband\’s \”foolish filial piety\”. Many parents who have unfilial children are heartbroken when it comes to mentioning them. They can’t understand why their children who have worked so hard to raise are…As he became successful, he also became a ruthless person. Why did he end up like this when he married a daughter-in-law for the outstanding students he trained so hard? These parents rarely think about how parents, as parents, guide their children in their views on marriage and love when they are growing up. This past Spring Festival, Lao Zhao\’s family was in an uproar. My son, who is a sophomore in college, got a girlfriend. Before their son came back, the old couple seemed overjoyed, but when they saw their future daughter-in-law, they almost lost their temper. The future daughter-in-law has colorful short hair that is tied up like a hedgehog. She wears a pair of ripped jeans in the winter. She hummed and said hello when she came in and got into her son\’s room. They had to be invited repeatedly every day for dinner. When they got to the dinner table, Mr. and Mrs. Zhao wanted to communicate with them. As a result, the girl wore earphones the whole time and did not raise her head at all. After the Spring Festival like this, Lao Zhao and his wife were absolutely heartbroken. How could such a daughter-in-law live a good life? On the fifth day of the Lunar New Year, the girl finally returned to her home. Lao Zhao and his wife gave their son an order: \”You can\’t have this girlfriend.\” The son jumped three feet high and said, \”What age are you in, and you still want to have an arranged marriage.\” Lao Zhao broke it open, crushed it into pieces, and told his son about marrying a virtuous wife. His son\’s nostrils turned upward: \”Don\’t be too arrogant. Who is not like this among young people nowadays? This is called personality.\” Lao Zhao and his son got into a heated argument. The neighbor was frightened by Lao Zhao\’s future daughter-in-law, and said that his son, who was also in college, must not bring such a daughter back. The neighbor\’s son was happy: \”Mom, don\’t worry, I don\’t like girls like this at all. What I like is the kind of gentle and traditional girl.\” The neighbor upstairs and downstairs, why are the children\’s views so different? ? Just give a simple example. Lao Zhao\’s son fell in love just after he entered sixth grade. After the neighbor knew about it, he secretly told Zhao Zhao to control his son. Zhao laughed loudly and said, \”I have a boy anyway, so I won\’t suffer any disadvantages. It would be good to let the child practice his hands early.\” Unable to persuade Zhao, the neighbor turned around and gave his son a lesson. Politics class: \”You must not learn from Xiao Zhao upstairs. We are a serious family. We cannot harm girls or ourselves. Otherwise, if I find out, I will kill you.\” Birds of a feather flock together and make friends. In this way, love and marriage are not the same. Many people often reveal that they encounter unkind people and encounter scumbag men and scumbag women. At first, you may be angry at the behavior of scumbag men and scumbag women, but as time goes by, you will find that the reason why many people are unkind to others has a lot to do with themselves. Some people are born with a \”scumbag\” attribute, and good boys are good There are so many girls, but they don\’t like them, but they are only interested in the opposite sex with scumbag attributes. Some people attribute this attribute to fate, but where does fate come from? Many people are hurt repeatedly, not because of God\’s will, but because of their personality or their views on marriage and love. A person\’s choice of marriage partner often has a profound imprint on his family of origin. A family that has not cultivated moral character in its children since childhood, no matter how excellent their grades are, their views on marriage and love may go astray. And the probability of a child who grew up in a house of poetry, books and etiquette falling in love and getting married with a person of the opposite sex with shocking outlook on life is close to zero. Even if you are attracted to Skin for a while, over time, you will choose to part ways because of your different views.darts. Many parents agree with the saying that when it comes to their children\’s marriage, the probability of a certain kind of family producing a certain kind of child is at least 80%. This is the power of words and deeds. Parents who are smarter and more foresight will deliberately guide their children in their three views from an early age. For example, Da Lizi’s parents. As early as when Dalizi was in middle school, her parents should always recommend some love novels to her. These love novels include both classics and romance novels. Every time after watching it, her parents would communicate with her and analyze and classify the male and female protagonists in different love stories. Other parents only care about scores, but his own parents were concerned about such a topic. At first, Dalizi found it strange. When it came to the love season, she was surprised to find that the initial discussions and exchanges had invisibly helped her form a fixed view on marriage and love. She was only interested in the kind of boys her parents supported who had the potential to be responsible and tough guys. Finally got married, bypassing many romantic boys, Dali chose the simple and tough husband she is today. My daughter is now 21 years old, and she is completely ready to enter the love season. Who knows, but she is not very keen on this aspect. We often communicate together, and the results of the communication are very gratifying. She said that there are many variables when she first entered college, and it is not suitable to focus on love, so she should learn her skills first. Occasionally, I casually chatted with her about some boys, and found that my daughter had a very positive view on marriage and love. She doesn\’t like boys who are unconventional in appearance, and has no sympathy for superficial boys who have no love or sense of responsibility. She doesn\’t understand the fanaticism of some peers chasing stars: \”Aren\’t those stars just good-looking? As for that, It\’s so crazy.\” Based on this exchange, other parents may be worried about their children\’s future marriage, but I am not worried at all: It is impossible for such a daughter with such a positive outlook on life to find a weird son-in-law for us. Because she won\’t like such a person, no matter how beautiful they are and how shiny they are. Looking back at the growth history of our children, Mr. Pisces male and I did not guide them intentionally, but our parents’ understanding of the world has influenced their children subtly. Even though she has never experienced anything in the world, she still maintains a rare insight and rationality. There is no cognitive generation gap between a child and her parents. It may not sound like a new and new human being, but it is full of joy to think about the smooth road she will face in the future. From this point of view, although my daughter with average grades did not enter a prestigious school, because of her already formed three views, I feel that her future is more reassuring than that of some students from prestigious schools whose three views are not so positive.