What is the best way to discipline children when they are rebellious? Understand your child and you will get better and better

Rebellion is not a child\’s problem, nor is it a problem that is difficult to solve. Want to change your child? After reading this article, parents and children will get better and better! Many parents are troubled by their children\’s \”rebellion\”. Always looking for some way to \”fix\” the child. In fact, children\’s rebellion is a good start. If parents grasp it well, it will benefit their children for life; if they do not grasp it well, it may harm their children. Each of us may have experienced rebellion in adolescence and adolescence, but as parents we can no longer truly understand how a child feels. I have experienced thousands of cases of \”rebellious\” children, and I have my own experiences and conclusions. Recently, I was deeply moved by an article describing a young man’s search for himself. In fact, child rebellion itself is not a big deal. Everyone has a rebellious streak within them. Our Planet Our Planet documentary watch online full 9 episodes 1080P ultra-clear 42.5G For a person\’s life growth, rebellion is only temporary. Only after this temporary struggle and pain will children slowly mature and truly To understand your parents’ intentions. Searching for Self \”Youth\” This article titled \”Youth\” tells the story of a child who has just turned seventeen. Although this young man still has a childish face, his tall body already makes him look like an adult. His mother was only as high as his shoulder, and his father also began to look up to him. Rebellion has become his way of communicating with his parents. Finally one day, the father had a heart-to-heart conversation with the boy and asked him why he was no longer well-behaved. The boy said: \”I have grown up and am no longer a chess piece controlled by you. I need to have my own life, I need to find myself…\” The father sighed: \”How are you going to find it?\” \”A bag, a compass. I need to leave your shelter and find my own coordinates.\” \”Then go ahead, kid. Your mother and I are waiting for your good news here.\” The father gave the boy 500 yuan. The young man left home. He began his journey to find youth and himself. The boy went to a city far away from home. There are no more annoying nags from teachers and parents. Of course, there is no more constant greetings from my parents. In that bizarre city, 500 yuan was like a glass of water poured into the desert, it quickly penetrated and disappeared. Looking at the shrinking wallet, the young man thought of giving up. But when I thought about the ridicule I might receive when I returned home, I had to swallow my tears. In order to survive, this young man who rarely even washed his own clothes at home began to work in some small shops. After a tiring day, just to have a hot meal and a shelter from the wind and rain – these things that he once had at his fingertips but did not cherish at all, accompanied the youth\’s rebellious growth in that city far away from home. Spring is passing and autumn is coming, and the year is passing quickly. The boy washed dishes in a restaurant, worked as a security guard in a large company, worked as a doorman in a hotel, and worked as a hawker in a night market… The boy\’s hands gradually became calloused in the exhausting life. The young man\’s heart also followed the sunrise and sunset, suffering from worldly things. He gradually understood the difficulty of his parents\’ life in the past and their worries about him.Love. Finally, as the New Year was approaching, the boy dialed the number he knew by heart. On the other end of the phone was my father\’s excited voice and my mother\’s sobs of joy. The father said: \”If you find what you want, come back.\” The moment he hung up the phone, the boy burst into tears. Soon he was on the train home. In the luggage, there are two more pieces of underwear bought for my parents, packed simply and beautifully. This is a New Year gift that a sensible son bought for his parents with his own hands. The story ends here. But the boy\’s growth is still going on, and this is just a stage in his growth process. Although it is short-lived, it is the most critical stage. From rebellion to understanding, the heart truly grows up. Why can you be rebellious and not frivolous? How can you be young? How can you be called a genius if you are not presumptuous! As children grow older, their bodies and minds undergo tremendous changes. Rebellion is like a seed waiting to sprout, ready to stir deep in the child\’s body. Children are eager to be recognized by the adult world, and are eager to show the world that they have grown up through rebellious behavior. They are no longer a child in the eyes of their parents, and they are no longer a \”chess piece\” that can be manipulated casually. At this time, parents must combine their own growth experiences to support, affirm, and believe in their children, and face their children with an attitude of \”human nature is good.\” Most people admit that children\’s rebellion is an inevitable process in life, just like a caterpillar cannot turn into a beautiful butterfly without breaking out of its cocoon. However, when it comes to their children\’s rebellion, most parents cannot be as tolerant as they are to a caterpillar, sympathizing with his struggles and looking forward to his growth. On the contrary, I feel extremely distressed, and I am deeply afraid that this kind of rebellion will not only break the usual authority of adults, but also break the existing order of the adult world. So, there is the question of \”what to do when facing a rebellious child\”. In fact, all rebellion comes from resistance to constraints and restrictions. What a child faces, in addition to his own physical and psychological constraints, is also the various restrictions deliberately created by the adults around him. In the past, he was unable to realize this kind of restraint and restriction, and even if he was aware of it, he was unable to resist. As they grow older, they are gradually able to see the world clearly, and a new self is ready to try in the confusion. However, the limitations of adults are so tight and indestructible, and the power of growth is not enough to break free from the constraints of one\’s own physiology, psychology and knowledge. At this time, children are suffering from transformation and experiencing unprecedented confusion, so they will engage in various rebellious behaviors, just to show their existence. When we accuse our children of being rebellious, we are also exposing the root of this rebellion: control and suppression evolved from excessive care. It is this seemingly well-intentioned and gentle restraint that leaves the growing child at a loss as to what to do. Therefore, when you accuse your children of being disobedient, you should also reflect on yourself to see if you have restricted your children\’s body and mind, and if you have not given your children enough space and understanding. You know, rebellion is not an unforgivable mistake, nor is it an unsolvable problem. What we have to do is help children, not keep them away from their parents and families. So, at this special timeWhat parents have to do during this period is to observe their children and understand their true thoughts. Then help them from the child\’s perspective. Many parents who have adolescent children at home will feel endless troubles because as their children grow older, various problems will follow. At this time, they have their own ideas and no longer listen to their parents on everything. Sometimes they even contradict their parents and do all kinds of things that their parents cannot accept. Many parents often feel angry and resentful towards their children. Before this stage comes, as parents, if you want to use superior \”authority\” to force your children to obey, then in all likelihood, it will increase the child\’s rebellious psychology. Times are changing, children are growing up, and their rebellion always has its roots. But true concern, communication, and understanding can find the root of the problem. Therefore, when facing growing children, we need to completely put down the \”parents\” airs and regain our childlike innocence in order to face the so-called rebellion. Because \”power\” cannot solve problems, let alone soothe children\’s rebellion. We are friends I have a parent of a student who is a model in this regard. She has a 19-year-old daughter. The most common thing her mother and daughter say is: We are friends. She told me that the normal communication with her daughter is equal. Sometimes there are disputes due to differences of opinion. If she thinks afterwards that she was wrong and criticized her daughter wrongly, she will take the initiative to admit her mistake to her daughter. When her children make requests of their own, she never refuses or judges them without thinking. Even if it is a very ridiculous request, after careful consideration, it will be responded to and discussed \”as a matter of fact\”, and sufficient reasons will be found to let her understand her views. Not only that, this parent also seeks the child\’s opinions on many things, and even if the child\’s opinions are terrible, he will listen carefully and discuss them with her. Even if it is a very necessary request, I will use \”I hope…\” or \”I suggest…\”, at least in form, leaving her room for independence, allowing her to have room to learn, think, and reflect, instead of rigidly saying something. Imposing your own ideas on your children. This mother is actually implementing an avant-garde educational concept. That is to treat children like adults and make them feel respected, unless under certain circumstances they automatically want to be children. Such parents show eternal support and affirmation to their children. Especially after their children make serious mistakes, they will give them the opportunity to correct and always affirm and support their corrective attitude. In our teaching of children, we must truly treat the child as another person with a person\’s attitude. Only in this way can we truly understand our children. A story about two children who are about to grow up and ask their parents to move outside. The father of one child said, \”What\’s wrong? I can\’t accommodate you at home. Just stay with me!\” The father of another child said, \”Have you really thought about it? Do you need any help from me?\” Who knows, The result is exactly the opposite. The father who objected to the child moving out not only failed to prevent the child from leaving the family, but also had a deep conflict with the child. The father who supported his child\’s move out made the child stayCome. The reason is: when the first child heard his father stop him so decisively, he felt that being at home was meaningless and it was better to move out early. The other child was completely different. When he proposed to move out, his father not only did not stop him, but asked him what he needed. This made him feel the warmth of family affection and felt that he was actually very good at home, so he decided not to move out. . It is actually a gratifying thing for a child to have independent thoughts and desire to get rid of his dependence on his parents. It would be worrying if he relied on his parents for everything! Just imagine, a child gradually grows up, twenty or thirty years old, and is still \”gnawing at the old age\”, still dependent on his parents, and has no ability to survive independently. The old parents complain and call their children useless and unworthy, but it doesn\’t help. The child has been raised to waste! Such things abound in China! But to understand this, we must be willing to let go of the role of parents: \”traditional authority.\” Only by temporarily breaking away from the role of parents can we face the struggles of another \”person\” with a \”human\” attitude. Many parents are worried that this kind of education will be indulgent and allow them to do whatever they want. In fact, we don’t have to worry about our children being untethered at all. As the previous examples show, true restraint does not necessarily require force or authority. Children are struggling to grow up and most need others to recognize their role. This is the stage when self-concepts are forming and thoughts are being inspired, so they are most susceptible to influence. Unfortunately, many parents always hope for an immediate effect, so they often use absolute suppression methods. The result is more than just rebellion. As a result, our children are pushed further and further away by our lack of understanding. Therefore, when faced with a child\’s rebellion, the most important thing is to recognize the truth: it\’s not who is rebelling against whom, it\’s just that there is a child who is eager to grow up and wants to \”live out himself.\” Of course we feel pain, but anger is unnecessary. If he goes in the right direction, we should be optimistic about his success as a life transmitter; if he strays into the abyss of depravity, we should rush over immediately to help him get up from the difficulties. Allow yourself to slowly let go of your role as a parent, return to a self-centered life, and pay more attention to yourself, your partner, and the quality of your life. We have nothing to lose, because although he is our child, he is a completely independent individual. On this journey of life, he will eventually have his own life and create the life he wants.