What is the best way to educate children?

Why are children not taught well? Some parents often complain: My children won’t listen no matter what I say, and they can’t be taught well no matter how I teach them! Why are children disobedient and parents unable to teach them well? The reason is simple: parents turn education into preaching, instead of showing the correct behavior to their children. So, what is \”teaching\”? The ancients included the true meaning of education in the word \”teaching\”. \”Shuowen Jiezi\” explains that \”teaching\” means \”what is given by the upper class will be effective by the lower class.\” It shows that good and effective family education is what the parents do, and the children will follow suit. Teaching by example is better than teaching by words. As soon as a person is born, the first thing he faces is family relationships. It is in the family that children learn the principles and attitudes of how to behave and treat others from their parents. I believe many parents have seen a public service advertisement: a mother carries a basin of foot-washing water to wash her mother\’s feet every night. She never told her son to wash her feet, but one day, her young son walked towards her with a basin of foot-washing water and said, \”Mom, please wash your feet!\” This is what she teaches by example. strength. How to educate children to develop good qualities? Take a look at these 6 Oscar-winning animated short films. On the contrary, parents who talk a lot about truth but cannot do it themselves often make their children have a rebellious mentality. Therefore, the old saying goes: \”Those who teach by example will obey; those who teach by words will follow.\” If parents only use words to teach their children, but they cannot do it themselves, the children will easily argue with their parents, develop a rebellious mentality, and even say: \”You If you haven’t done it yet, who have the right to say anything about me?” Therefore, when teaching your children, teach yourself first. If every word, deed, and action of the parents is in line with the teachings of the sages such as the \”Disciple Rules\”, over time, without saying much, the children will naturally Changes will occur, and the family atmosphere will naturally derive an aura of \”teaching by example and following one\’s example\”. The right side of \”teaching\” in Oracle Bone Inscriptions is the character \”洴\”, which is the image of a hand holding a pointer, just like the ancient teachers who often used wicker sticks to spur students. This shows that education cannot be achieved overnight. On the other hand, what is the reason why today’s children are disobedient and cannot be taught well? One is that the parents did not teach well by example, and the other is that the parents are impatient and eager for success, which results in haste but waste in the end. \”Since prenatal education, it can be said that China is one of the countries that attaches great importance to education in history. In the history of civilization for more than 5,000 years, the reason why it has maintained a peaceful and stable situation for most of the time is education. The ancients attached great importance to prenatal education. Prenatal education is actually a kind of teaching by example. As early as when King Wen of Zhou Dynasty\’s mother Tai Ren was pregnant, she was able to \”not look at evil things with her eyes, not listen to obscene sounds with her ears, and not speak arrogant words with her mouth\”. That is, not to look at evil things with her eyes, Her ears did not listen to the sounds of lewdness, and her mouth spoke gentle words without arrogance, let alone rude and abusive words? Just because Tai Ren was a saint, her son King Wen was also a saint. Now some people still regard The wife is respectfully called \”Mrs.\”. The word \”Mrs.\” comes from the three female saints of the Zhou Dynasty, namely King Wen\’s grandmother Taijiang, his mother Tairen and his wife Taisi. These three are the mothers of sages and taught sages. Children and grandchildren. Addressing the wife as \”Mrs.\” is a mother who expects her to become a sage and to cultivate sage children and grandchildren for the family. The reason why the Zhou Dynasty was able to enjoy a country for 800 years has become a historicalIn the dynasty with the longest history, an important reason is that it attaches great importance to family education and has good example. \”The Book of Rites of Dadai: Baofu\” clearly records that King Zhou Cheng\’s mother also paid great attention to her words and deeds when she was pregnant: \”The Queen of Zhou took care of King Cheng, standing without stooping, sitting without leaning forward, and being alone without being arrogant. Even though you are angry, you are not angry, which is called prenatal education.\” This sentence means that when the Queen of Zhou Dynasty was King Jiang Huaicheng, she did not stand on tiptoes when standing, did not stagger when sitting down, did not relax and let go when alone, and did not curse when angry. She strictly used ethical standards to restrain herself, so that King Cheng received good prenatal education. \”Yan Family Instructions\” records that ancient sage kings also practiced prenatal education. When the concubine is 3 months pregnant, she has to move to another good house. She must not squint her eyes, her ears must not listen randomly, listen to music and eat delicious food, all must be controlled according to etiquette and justice, and she must write these on the jade tablet and hide them. Go into the gold cabinet. Nowadays, many mothers lack the awareness of prenatal education and personal teaching. During pregnancy or after the child is born, they still play cards, get angry and curse, lie in front of the child, etc. These behaviors will have a subtle negative impact on the child, which is equivalent to teaching the child to gamble. , getting angry, swearing, lying. Confucius said: \”If the master is righteous, who dares to be unrighteous?\” Educators and leaders must first be educated to comply with the laws of moral education. Therefore, as parents, we must have the awareness of \”teaching your children to teach yourself first\”. If you don’t want your children to do something, you must not do it yourself; if you want your children to stay away from bad habits such as smoking and drinking, you must set an example for them. Family education starts from prenatal education and runs through a person\’s life until the end of his life. The Analects of Confucius records that Zengzi said: If you pursue your goals with caution, the people\’s virtue will be strong. If funerals can be handled carefully and memorials to deceased ancestors can be carried out, the people\’s customs will naturally become honest. After their parents pass away, their children and grandchildren still carefully handle the funeral, and regularly offer sacrifices to their deceased ancestors, setting an example for future generations of \”love and respect in life and mourn in death\”. In other words, even if parents pass away, they can still set an example for their children and grandchildren to honor their parents and repay their kindness through funeral ceremonies. This is why the ancients paid special attention to sacrifices and listed them as the first of the \”Five Rites\” (auspicious, unlucky, military, guest, and honorable gifts). Just imagine, if a person can even offer sacrifices to his long-dead ancestors regularly, how can he be unfilial to his parents? It is impossible for him to sacrifice his ancestors and beat his father and scold his mother at the same time. This is not justified both emotionally and rationally. Therefore, worshiping ancestors cultivates a person\’s deep consciousness of repaying kindness and remembering the source when drinking water. Starting with the ancestors, it has been passed down from generation to generation that when the ancients worshiped their ancestors, they gathered the whole family in the ancestral hall to preach the virtues of their ancestors. For example, in which dynasty and generation, a virtuous ancestor appeared in the family, what contribution he made to the country and the people, and what virtues and demeanor of the ancestors should be learned and imitated. This kind of education will make children and grandchildren cautious in every word, deed, and action, lest their words and actions will discredit their ancestors and family. Sacrifice becomes an opportunity for moral education, arousing people\’s respect and admiration for the merits of their ancestors, and cultivating children\’s sense of responsibility for the family and the sense of mission to inherit the family culture. \”Book of the Later Han·Biography of Yang Zhen\” records a short story: Yang Zhen, the prefect of the Eastern Han Dynasty,Zhen was transferred to the post of governor of Donglai. When he passed by Changyi, Changyi ordered Wang Mi to thank him for his kindness and gave him 10 kilograms of gold late at night. Yang Zhen sternly refused. Wang Mi said: \”No one knows in the middle of the night.\” Yang Zhen said: \”God knows, God knows, I know, Zi knows. How can you say no one knows?\” Wang Mi left with the gold in shame. Yang Zhen was therefore known as the \”Four Knowledge Prefects\”. Under his example, the descendants of the Yang family all upheld an honest style, lived a simple life, often ate vegetables, and went out on foot. The descendants even had the grand event of \”four generations and three fathers\”. It can be seen that anti-corruption education in ancient times has already begun in the family, and all of this is inseparable from the example and teaching of parents. CCTV recommends more than 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching the pattern. In ancient times, due to the emphasis on family education, especially personal teaching, families with hundreds of people could naturally form in their lives \”father and son are related, husband and wife are different, The natural order of \”old and young\” enables family members to gain a stable and safe sense of belonging in an atmosphere of equality, harmony, sincerity and love; they fulfill the responsibility of caring for their parents and elders until they die; children and younger generations grow up healthily and receive ethical and moral education; their peers Brothers respect, love, and help each other. This is the natural cohesion of traditional Chinese families and society. If children accept the influence of their parents\’ words and deeds at home, know how to be filial to their parents, love their brothers, and respect their elders, develop a courteous, rigorous and honest attitude, and cultivate the virtues of filial piety, loyalty, propriety, justice and shame, then they will naturally know how to interact with leaders, colleagues and even others when they enter society. Strangers live in a civilized and harmonious manner. In this way, how could children not be taught well?