What is the common sentiment when a child cries in public? What\’s the point? Please take him away first

Children crying and fussing in public is believed to be one of the most troublesome things for parents. When you take your children out during the May Day holiday, it is inevitable that they will have unpleasant moments. For example, when they go to the mall and argue to buy toys; when they walk in the park, they argue for an extra ice cream… Once the parents do not agree, the children will start to behave badly. If you don\’t understand the truth, you will start to cry, throw around and roll around… Faced with this situation, the child will not listen to empathy and reasoning; confronting others head-on is also very stressful… At this time, you might as well take the child away first and find a quiet place. There is a place to let the children vent their emotions; under the premise of ensuring safety, it is not a bad idea to let the children roll around in place to vent their emotions. However, some parents will adopt a \”cold treatment\” method of not communicating or comforting: watching calmly from the sidelines, or simply playing with their mobile phones or recording videos… I really do not recommend that parents adopt this \”cold treatment\” method of ignoring it, because – – \”Cold treatment\” without communication and comfort will irritate children and aggravate their emotional outbursts. Children will fall to the ground and act violently, which immediately puts parents into an embarrassing situation: adrenaline is soaring, anger is rising, and at the same time they feel deeply powerless. . In order not to condone their children\’s behavior and be hands-off parents, many young parents hope to say no to their children through \”cold treatment\”. \”Cold treatment\” is a kind of \”stimulation\” for children, which can aggravate emotional outbursts. Why do you say that? When a child throws a tantrum, the brain will produce stress hormones, causing the child to breathe quickly, become angry, and lose his mind. In early childhood, the prefrontal cortex, which controls emotions and thinking, is immature and its ability to regulate stress hormones is still weak. This means that children can feel strong emotions, but their ability to express and process emotions is immature, and they will only respond in a \”rough\” form such as crying and acting. At this time, the child has already had an emotional breakdown, but the parents ignored it, and with the sideways glances from others, the \”cold treatment\” turned into a kind of \”cold violence\”. The child\’s stress hormones will surge again in a short period of time, and the child\’s emotions will collapse. Naturally, it is getting worse. When parents look at their crying and rolling children and think that they are trying to threaten us, they are just helpless babies – \”I can\’t control myself, I need mom and dad to help me😭\” If parents publicly reprimand their children, or lead them Being emotional, dragging and pulling the child away, and refusing to communicate and help the child verbally will also trigger a greater emotional storm in the child. What parents can do when their children are acting up and crying is that instead of confronting their children, parents should take a deep breath, calm down their emotions, and take their children to do an \”emotional timeout.\” Specifically how to do this, we give parents 3 key points: observe the surrounding environment and judge whether to take the child away from the incident. If the child\’s surrounding environment is relatively safe, there is no need to take the child away, and it is not necessary to let the child stand up, but it is best to tell Child: Dad/Mom, I know you are very angry now. If you don’t want to get up, you can lie down for a while, and I will always stay with you. If your child falls to the ground and makes a splash on a road with a lot of people or heavy traffic, you must hug him immediately. Go to a safe and private place, such as a corner or corridor with few people. leave whenThe first scene that triggers a child\’s emotional storm can help the child move out of the \”out of control\” situation. It can also help parents stay away from the situation of being focused on and pointed by others, and get out of the awkward, helpless, and angry emotions as quickly as possible. Physical soothing to ease children\’s emotions. When a child experiences an emotional storm, the stress hormones in the body will explode and rise sharply. At this time, parents can give the baby a simple hug, hold the child\’s little hand, or put their arms around the child\’s shoulders. These gentle physical touches can release the love hormone oxytocin in the child\’s body and relieve the baby\’s emotional collapse. Comforting does not mean compromising, but it sends a message to the child: I am by your side and I am here to help you. Allow children to vent their emotions and accompany them to adjust their emotions. Whether parents accompany their children to act out or take their children to a safe and private corner, the purpose is not to make their children stop crying immediately. Instead, create a \”pause\” environment for your children – an environment where they can adjust themselves. In an emotionally \”suspended\” environment, parents must provide adequate gentle companionship to make their children feel sufficiently safe. I brought you here because I wanted to help you calm down and we could talk about it. I know you are sad right now and if you want to cry, I will be here with you. If you feel better, tell mom/dad. Let the children know that they are accompanied by their parents here, and they can fully vent their emotions. When this emotional storm passes, the \”timeout\” will also end. It is important to do a post-mortem review because you don’t want your child to fall to the ground and act violently. A child’s emotional storm is not the end, but a starting point. When children are acting up and rolling around, they need to vent their emotions; when the storm has just ended, \”reason\” has not fully returned, and speaking directly to reason may rekindle the war. After the child has completely calmed down and his attention has been transferred, we can explain the truth again, and it will be easier for the child to listen. For example, the parent-child chat time before going to bed at night is a good time to review. For example, if a child behaves and rolls around during the day because his parents did not buy toys, you can refer to the following steps to review: Let the parents review the day\’s experience. Does the baby still remember what happened in the mall during the day? The parents didn\’t buy toys for the baby. The baby got angry and lay on the ground crying. Mom and Dad saw you crying on the ground. We were also very anxious and wanted to help you. Later, you slowly calmed down. You see, we can also control our emotions! Give positive feedback for positive behaviors and guide the baby to express his or her thoughts. When I saw that the baby was angry, you were able to calm down in the end. I want to give you a thumbs up. Now that you are no longer angry, can you tell us in a calm tone what the baby was thinking at that time? What do you want to tell your parents? Wait until the child expresses his or her thoughts, then empathize and reason with the child. Well, I completely understand your thoughts. Mom and dad understand your feelings very well, but you can’t buy this toy today. It’s not because mom and dad don’t love the baby anymore, but because there are already many toys of the same type at home. We can sort it out together tomorrow and get all the toys that the baby wants to play with.Come out and see which babies you haven’t bought yet but really want. Can parents buy them and play with them? Review the behavior that needs to be corrected and what you can do next time: Look at the baby dropping golden beans during the day and lying on the cold floor. Parents can’t figure out what the baby wants to say. What Mom and Dad want to tell you is that there are many ways to communicate, but if you lie on the ground crying, Mom and Dad have no way of knowing what you want to do. If you want to communicate with us next time, shouldn\’t you also use your mouth, Use words to communicate? For example, you can tell your parents, \”I\’m very angry,\” or simply stamp your feet and let your parents see that you are angry, okay? Reviewing the situation with the child is not to criticize the child, but to use this form to allow parents and children to establish a better form of communication, so that the child can understand that there can be better solutions to the same situation next time. The effect of review will not be immediate, and children will not be able to change their habit of throwing things around just because of one or two reviews. This requires patient guidance from parents and repeated practice by children.