What is the true growth of a child?

On the road of children\’s growth, the reason why children become outstanding is not because of their parents\’ arrangements, but because of their parents\’ letting go. In the process of raising children, I always feel that loving children means doing everything for them, until the children become lazy and lose their independence. Only then did I realize that I thought I was good to my children, but in fact it did not make my children a better version of themselves, and it also made my children farther and farther away from excellence. As parents, we always want our children to be independent and strong when they grow up, and have the ability to stand alone. However, we don’t know that behind independence. In fact, it comes from a habit slowly developed by parents\’ trust in their children and letting go of their children when they were young. Arranged parents cannot raise independent children. Dabao recently started school, but because he had to take care of his second child, the matter of sending Dabao to him was left to his husband, who gave Dabao away for a few days. I started to have objections. The reason for the objections was not because Dabao was given away, but because Dabao went to school for several days in a row and was always late. This is something my husband who usually does things and cares about efficiency doesn\’t like. Later, the teacher said Dabao, come earlier next time. CCTV recommends more than 500 high-scoring documentaries. The child watched the pattern and became addicted to self-discipline. The husband decided not to let Dabao be late anymore, so he asked Dabao to get up early. Even if he got up early, he would not be late even if he dilly-dallyed for a while. Therefore, in order to help Dabao develop a good habit of getting up early, we set her bedtime at 9 o\’clock and call her 20 minutes earlier in the morning. Unexpectedly, when I asked Dabao to wake up in advance, she got up naturally without getting angry at all, and she arrived at school very early. I feel deeply about Dabao getting up early to go to school. Many times, we always think that children can’t do it, but in fact, they can’t do it. But parents think that their children can\’t do it, and they regard this concept of inability as their children\’s ideas to set limits for their children. As everyone knows, these are all caused by parents arranging everything for their children, which has caused children to lose their independent ability since childhood. They do not think independently and rely on their parents\’ ideas for everything. Going to school is the child\’s business, not ours. As parents, we only play a role in giving tips and helping our children. For children who get up early for school, we can advise her to go to bed early. When she gets up early, we play an auxiliary role in waking her up in advance. When we have done all this but the child still doesn’t get up, we need to let the child take the initiative to bear the consequences of his actions. For example, Dabao, who was late continuously, did not realize that the impact of being late was bad until the teacher said, honey, you have to come to school early. Only then did Dabao realize that his behavior was not good, and he also began to realize that getting up early was his own business, not for us. As a parent, when your children are in school, you must start developing the habit of getting up early in kindergarten. It will become less strenuous after they go to school. However, for children, every child is different. We cannot copy them exactly. We can only teach students in accordance with their aptitude and use different methods for different children. Children\’s growth begins with trial and error and affirmation. When children do homework, have we discovered a phenomenon that when we ask children to do homework, they will linger and delay for a long time. I started writing, but I still kept writing for a long time without finishing it. Even my children were doing their homework.Every minute, every minute, we become particularly broken. I was deeply aware of this phenomenon last year. As long as my children did their homework, I would get very angry and I couldn\’t help but want to lose my temper. The reason for the tantrum is either because the child writes slowly, or because the child dawdles, or because the child writes for fun, or because the child writes wrongly. In short, as long as I don\’t like it, I will start nagging the child non-stop. As a result, whether the child talks back or not, I will be so angry that I want to faint. It wasn\’t until later that I realized that this was not good for me or my children. It just started to change. I no longer sat next to her to do homework as before, but told her that homework is your own business. The teacher left homework. I will tell you what homework there is and where you can sit and do your homework. If you need help, call me anytime. At the same time, he told her that after finishing her homework, she could manage the rest of her time by herself. But if you haven’t done your homework after dinner, then there’s no need to do it. Just wash up and go to bed, go to school the next day, take the initiative to explain to the teacher why our homework was not completed, and bear the consequences. Needless to say, since I let my children complete their homework, I rarely get angry about my children\’s homework, and I rarely lose control and collapse. Now that I have developed it, when I get home, I wash my hands first, eat something, start doing homework after eating, finish the homework, play for a while and then eat. After dinner, I watch animation for 15 minutes, then go to wash up. After washing up, I read an evening story, listened to an audio story, talked and went to bed. Regarding homework, I noticed from my children, don’t criticize your children’s homework. If you do something wrong, you are wrong. Give your children a chance. If criticized all the time, the child\’s brain will be particularly confused, he will keep making mistakes, and he will even get tired of homework and not like to do homework. What we need to do is to find out more about the children\’s progress in the learning process, and use their progress to encourage them. Philosopher James once said: The essence of human nature is the desire to appreciate, especially children. Appreciation can make children grow into towering trees, while belittling can make children wither and deformed. Regarding children\’s independence, I always felt that children were young before their parents let go, so I would help them with everything, but later I discovered that doing so did not make the children better. On the contrary, the children became more and more withdrawn and timid in doing things. Whenever they encountered something, they wanted to ask me for help. collection! How to Accompany Children\’s Growth 108 Compulsory Courses Complete Download I once saw a saying: If parents take a step forward, the children will take a step back; if parents take a step back, the children will take a step forward. At this moment, I feel that it is too appropriate to describe the growth of children. It can be seen here that children’s growth comes from their parents. For example, when my children encountered problems at school, they would always tell me when they came back instead of asking the teacher for help. Also, when she usually goes out to buy things, she always dares not buy them herself because she is afraid that others will laugh or be embarrassed. When I realized that my child was gradually becoming dependent and losing his ability to be independent, I began to wake up and choose to let go at the right time. Now when the child encounters something at school, come back and tell me, I will say, you tell your mother to prove that you trust your mother, but when you are at school. You have to try to solve the problem by yourself. If you can\’t solve it, go to the teacher for help. The teacher can\’t solve it eitherYes, when you come back, you must tell your parents. Your parents will work with you to find a solution to the problem. When I do this, the children begin to learn to take the initiative to find solutions on their own, solve problems by themselves first, and take the initiative to seek help from the teacher if they cannot solve the problem. Just like buying things, when I let my children do it, the children not only became bolder but also became more confident in the process of buying things on their own. As a parent, on the road to growth of your children, you must dare to let go when the time is right, and let your children take the lead when appropriate. Instead, we always walk in front of our children, shield them from wind and rain, and avoid all difficulties and setbacks that our children should endure. Written at the end: On the road of children\’s growth, as parents, we must use wisdom to help our children grow up, such as being lazy and showing weakness appropriately. When it\’s time to let go, let go boldly, and give your children the opportunity to try and make mistakes as they grow, so that they can grow through trial and error. When it’s time to encourage your children, encourage and affirm them without hesitation. When you guide and encourage your children in the right way, your children will become what you expect with your affirmation and appreciation.