What kind of families do self-disciplined children come from (good in-depth article)

Everyone\’s life height is closely related to self-discipline. However, for most children, self-discipline is a relatively rare habit. They often do things haphazardly, doing whatever comes to mind without any plan, and they are prone to giving up halfway and failing to finish things from beginning to end. This is actually very detrimental to the growth of children. Habits are not innate, and self-discipline is not a talent randomly given to children by God, but is formed in the day after tomorrow and cultivated in the family. Family education determines a child\’s future. Behind every successful education case is the efforts of parents. Those self-disciplined children often come from such families. Families where parents discipline early A professor who studies family education divides a person\’s life into several stages. Among them, a child\’s 3-6 years old is a critical period for character formation. If you don\’t care about your child when he is 3-6 years old, you won\’t be able to care about him when he grows up. When it comes to self-discipline, some parents think that this is a habit that only older children should develop. For children under 10 years old, self-discipline is too harsh for them. Parents thinking this way is actually a misunderstanding of self-discipline. Self-discipline is not just about conscious learning. For young children, brushing their teeth in the morning and evening, eating less snacks, limiting the time for watching cartoons, controlling their emotions, not losing their temper, and crying at all times are all manifestations of self-discipline. Before the child is 10 years old, parents always use the child\’s young age as an excuse to pamper their children. If they wait until the child is 10 years old and then ask the child to be self-disciplined, it is actually very easy for the child to develop a rebellious mentality. Therefore, you should take care of your children as early as possible, especially when it comes to cultivating children\’s self-discipline. The period before a child is 6 years old is the most rapid period of psychological development, and it is also a critical period for the development of a child\’s personality and habits. During this period, the values ​​passed on by parents to their children have the most profound and direct impact. Parents set rules for their children from an early age, letting them know what they can and cannot do, eat snacks in moderation, watch TV in moderation, and not do whatever they want or do as they please. Children must learn to exercise restraint. A child who has learned restraint since childhood will naturally learn self-discipline when he grows up. The self-discipline of children in families where parents set an example is never forced by their parents, but guided. There is a saying that goes well: Parents are the originals, and children are the copies. If you want to have a child with excellent self-discipline, you must first see whether the parents, who are the originals, are self-disciplined enough. When educating children, the most fearful thing is that \”only state officials are allowed to set fires, but the common people are not allowed to light lamps.\” You ask your children to study hard, but you don\’t want to make progress; you ask your children to go to bed early and get up early, but you stay up late playing games and checking your phone; you ask your children to follow the rules, but you are trampling on them. The more such parents push their children, the more rebellious their children will become. Even as the children grow older, the parents will lose less and less authority in their children\’s hearts. Qian Xuesen, the father of China\’s missiles, loves reading. His study time is after 7 o\’clock every night. No one is allowed to disturb him during this time. No matter whether the weather is hot or cold, it never changes. It is precisely because he created a good educational environment with his own actions that his concept of \”endless reading\” can be quietly implanted in the hearts of children. His son, nearly thirty years old, is still studying hard despite difficult conditions., and got into college with his own efforts. The highest level of education is not to command from a high position, but to grow together with the children. In a good family, the roles of parents are diverse. They are not only parents, but also friends, guides and role models for their children. In a bad family, the father only works as a \”cash machine\” and the mother only works as a \”nanny\”. Education is a journey of mind and wisdom. If parents demonstrate more and preach less, their children\’s growth path will be broader. A mother from a family where parents are willing to let go asked another mother for advice: \”How come your child gets up on his own in the morning without having to be nudged? My child has to be nudged three times and four times every morning. Going out is like fighting.\” This mother asked. The mother said: \”There is nothing we can do, just don\’t rush him. If we don\’t push the child, the child will push himself.\” Children are not born to be so worry-free. At the beginning, this mother was in a hurry every morning. I wish I could just install an accelerator key for my child. Later, she felt that urging her like this was not enough, so she said to her child: \”From now on, when we go out at 7:30 in the morning, I will not rush you, I will only remind you, but if you are late, the teacher will only criticize you, not your mother. \”At first, the child didn\’t take it seriously and still slowly got up, brushed his teeth, had breakfast, and went out. Without the mother\’s urging, the child will undoubtedly be late and criticized. After school, the child looked aggrieved and blamed his mother for being late. His mother repeated what she had said before. The next day, the child was still in no hurry. The mother reminded him. Thinking of being criticized for being late yesterday, the child immediately sped up. Although it\’s still late, it\’s a little earlier than yesterday. This continued for a period of time, and the child no longer had to be pushed in the morning. He could get up, brush his teeth, and eat breakfast according to the time, and he was never late again. When you want your child to be self-disciplined instead of taking charge of everything by yourself, you must learn to let go and watch him make mistakes without intervening, and watch him take his time without helping. Always be a sparring partner rather than the leader of the competition. Only in this way can children learn to be responsible for themselves. Suhomlinsky once said: \”Let knowledge truly penetrate into our flesh and blood and truly and completely become an integral part of life.\” The same is true for letting children develop the habit of self-discipline. As long as self-discipline is truly Only by becoming a part of the child\’s life can the child become a self-disciplined person. Parents should take more care of their children when they are young, demonstrate more as they grow up, and give their children more freedom when they grow up. This is how children\’s self-discipline is formed. Self-discipline is a necessary prerequisite for children\’s success, and every self-disciplined child cannot do without the guidance and training of his parents.