What kind of warning does the mother who jumped off the building with her two children give us?

The news that a young mother in Xiangtan jumped off a building with her son and daughter flooded the social media circle. Many people left messages asking me to write about it. To be honest, I was very resistant. I really didn’t want the beginning of 2017 to start with such a tragic incident as a hot topic. However, after reading so many voices and opinions on the Internet, I felt the need to write about this matter. A tragic incident has occurred. As a bystander, what is the most appropriate voice to make? Scolding a scumbag? Feeling sorry for the dead? All of these angles are acceptable, but what is more important is how to make the irreversible tragedy that has already happened serve as a lesson to others and prevent it from happening again. I read the young mother\’s 10,000-word suicide note over and over again, sighing with emotion and full of regret: She died, destroying herself and her two children, destroying her parents, destroying her husband, and destroying her parents-in-law. If we talk about revenge, this price is enough. Who does she want revenge on? It\’s her husband, who doesn\’t treat her well enough; it\’s her parents-in-law, who doesn\’t treat her well enough; it\’s her life, which has become a mess after giving birth to two children in three years. But what about the innocent people in this tragedy? Innocent children, innocent parents, these people who are connected with her on the same line of blood are the closest people to her in this life. However, she doesn\’t care, all she thinks of is her own reason: the child has such Her father and grandmother will not grow up happily; if she leaves, her parents will continue to live the rest of their lives well for her. How selfish and paranoid this is. The news said that after the incident, the woman\’s husband and mother\’s cries and roars at the scene shook the entire community…the cries and roars. These two words make people immersive and shudder. If Jiuquanxia had knowledge, the mother who was full of hatred would be satisfied now – the reason why she chose such a tragic decision was not to teach her husband who didn\’t love her enough a lesson. Lessons learned, what next? Is it worth using your own death to punish a man for not loving him enough? Some people say that this woman died so cowardly, why should she drag the scumbag along with her even if she dies? In my opinion, this method of death is more lethal than dragging the scumbag to death. The scumbag is not dead, but the rest of his life will be worse than death. In terms of \”cruelty\”, this mother who jumped off the building can be said to have achieved the ultimate. She is gone and I feel for her. But why did the child deserve it? Why was his mother\’s willful fate decided like this? The woman mentioned that the reason for leaving with her children was that she was worried that her children would not be happy with such a father and grandparents after she left. I admit that this is the reason, but the more important reason is another sentence she wrote: You gave me I will return all that is mine to you; and take all that I have given to you. What she gave him were these two children. The child\’s life is indeed given by the mother, but is this what she takes away to rely on? She thought that her child might not be happy if she died, so she was reluctant to give up. Did she ever think about her mother? \”I\’m leaving. You have to live well. Dad, you have to be as nice to your mother as possible…\” How can the biological parents live well when their daughter is gone! This kind of \”filial piety\” that only stays in words is so weak, so frivolous, and so selfish and cold. I don’t think a woman who jumps off a building is unfilial. I just want to say that she hates her husband.She was completely lost in the abyss of personal emotions, and she couldn\’t see anything but herself. Her husband is indeed not a virtuous man. He has many shortcomings and shortcomings, but there are many men who are worse and more shameless than this man. Why is this young mother the only one to take such drastic measures? Does she have no responsibility at all? The suicide note bitterly narrated all the unhappiness of her three-year marriage. We will not review those unhappiness in detail, but will only look at the root cause that spurred her to the extreme incident in the end: her birthday. She wanted to celebrate her 31st birthday by herself, so after her husband persuaded her to have a reunion dinner with her husband\’s family, her husband gave her a pair of earrings worth 4,000 yuan and promised to take her to a buffet in Changsha. The trip to Changsha failed for various reasons. During this period, the woman did not describe in detail what happened. She only said that her husband dragged her to the ground by her hair and called her a \”mad dog.\” This delay and scolding completely drove the woman to a dead end. Men involved in domestic violence are of course very scumbags, but when you play back the words written by the person involved, don’t you think this woman is a bit pretentious? The husband\’s family had a reunion dinner, and her husband gave her gifts, but she still had to worry about why he agreed to take her to the buffet but didn\’t go. Of course the man is at fault when the conflict intensifies in the end, but is the woman too harsh and picky? It\’s just a birthday, is it really that important? If this is considered a problem, then those women who have never received any birthday gifts from their husbands in their entire lives, will they all die? A birthday can be really entangled like this. You can imagine how this lady would behave in her daily life. Some say the birthday incident was just the straw that broke the camel\’s back. I also believe that the unfinished buffet was the straw. The woman who jumped from the building summarized her marriage in her suicide note, which she attributed to the incompatibility of three views. It is true that couples with an age difference of 11 years have differences in their views. However, there are many couples who have different views, and not many couples have such disagreements. Why her marriage is so miserable? In addition to the men\’s misdeeds, there is also a very important point: although this woman is already the mother of two children, she is still a girl who has not grown up at heart. Look at her yearning and longing for marriage: \”What I want is a free, easy and optimistic life. What I want is the warmth of being able to watch the sunrise on the top of a mountain with my husband and cooking together hand in hand. It doesn\’t matter if the food is not delicious. As long as I make it, I hope he can eat it happily. It doesn\’t matter if you encounter difficulties, we will discuss the solution together. If you can\’t solve it, just cover your head and go to bed. The sun will rise the next day. It doesn\’t matter whether you have money or not, just give me a Even with a thousand dollars, I can live happily…\” The description is so beautiful and romantic, is there such a day? Yes, but it cannot exist in their marriage. Because at the beginning, she did not choose a man with such worldly cheats. She chose a career-oriented man with a 500,000 yuan engagement deposit and a 160-square-meter wedding room. Such a man is destined not to live the carefree and casual life she imagined as a homely couple with her. I don’t think the lady who jumped off the building married this man because of money. Reading the whole story, I even thinkShe really treats money like dirt. Before becoming a mother, such casualness was an advantage. After having children, such casualness became somewhat irresponsible. You can live very well with a thousand dollars, but what about your children? She said that her annual household expenses including milk powder and nanny fees are 200,000 yuan. The wife is a full-time housewife. Where can the husband find the 200,000 yuan if he doesn\’t work hard to earn it? Women say they can live without a nanny, but if a housewife who doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t hire a nanny, the family will have nothing to eat or drink. If this woman is looking for an ordinary working-class man, her husband can go with her to the top of the mountain to watch the sunrise, and even cook together without her, and he will do all the cooking. But this woman Can you be happy? Without a big house of 160 square meters and a nanny, will she have other dissatisfaction and complaints? Therefore, the tragedy of this woman is not only that she encountered a scumbag, but also that she has not fully understood the essence of marriage. Love can be romantic, but marriage is a real community of interests. In a besieged city, love is important, and more important than love are the responsibilities and obligations that no one will say casually but always know well. The nature of marriage is very cruel. It is never a comfort zone for a princess or a prince, but a platform for two mature, rational and calm people to live together. If you come with a fantasy dream, it is inevitable that you will encounter a bloody head. If your marriage is not as beautiful as you imagined, it doesn\’t matter. If you can\’t accept this unbearable situation, just leave. There is no need to risk everything, and there is no need to risk one\’s life for an unworthy marriage. In a woman\’s world, the role of wife should not be limited to her. She is also a mother, a daughter, and a social person. When I was a child, I lived in a remote rural area. There were often women in the village who drank pesticides because they had a quarrel with their husbands. I still remember one. She was a very cheerful woman. One day when she came back from working in the field, the man slapped her twice because the rice was cooked. She drank half a bottle of pesticide while the man was not at home. After drinking the pesticide, I immediately regretted it. She ran all the way and knocked on the neighbor\’s door, begging them to take her to the hospital immediately. There were no cars at that time, so the only way to go to the hospital was by horse-drawn carriage. The neighbor was hurriedly tying the carriage. The woman who had drunk pesticide was half lying on the ground, foaming at the corner of her mouth, hugging her two children tightly and crying: \”I don\’t want to die, God, please don\’t let me die.\” Got it. The man who had given the news ran back wildly. When they met, the woman hugged him and burst into tears: \”I was wrong, I was wrong. Take me to the hospital quickly.\” The car was yoked, and the woman was hugged by her husband while she was dying. I rushed to the township health center like crazy. I held my mother\’s clothes and stood in the yard with the pungent smell of pesticides. I looked at the woman\’s two children with slugs in their noses and cried loudly. For the first time in my life, I felt… An indescribable desolation. That woman would have died if she didn\’t insist on getting to the hospital. Her husband remained unmarried for the rest of his life and lived alone with his two children. The originally lively and happy family was ruined just like that. The moment I saw this news, I remembered this past incident that I had almost forgotten. Two women from different eras and with different levels of education reached the same destination through different paths, which illustrates theWhat? You will never regret jumping off a building before it\’s too late, but I still want to ask, at the moment when she jumped out of the window with her children in her arms, did the frightened screams of the two children make this mother feel a trace of regret? After three lives of reincarnation, they were reincarnated into her womb and became children. This was originally a God-given relationship, but because of a single thought on her part, the relationship that had been reincarnated for three lives instantly turned into a life-threatening enemy. The mother thinks that she can continue to be mother and son by taking her child to another world, but is she able to decide the origin of reincarnation? This leap in the sky completely destroyed the bond between parent and child that had been cultivated over several lifetimes. The moment her body was shattered, she and her children\’s souls were separated for eternity, with no possibility of ever getting together again. Browsing the articles criticizing the husband of the woman who jumped off the building, the comments below were shocking. I was particularly shocked to find out that there are so many women living in besieged cities who are unhappy and unhappy. When I was speechless for a long time, I remembered what a female reader once left me: As a mother of a second child, I experienced two ten-month pregnancies, giving birth, breastfeeding, raising a baby, and having an invisible father. I was really exhausted both physically and mentally. …You said that if everyone’s marriage could treat their husband as a son, their life would be more satisfying. You taught us to be self-reliant, and then life will be beautiful. There is nothing wrong with this…but can you write an article to educate male compatriots, so that they can cherish their wives\’ contributions and know how to cherish their wives, because the greatest love for children is to love their mothers. Sister Dazao, you also have a daughter. Have you ever thought about what kind of husband you want your daughter to find in the future? Every daughter is a princess before she gets married, but she becomes a nanny during marriage… If we do all these things and still meet someone unkind, are we really too inferior? Why can\’t there be more men like Huang Lei in the world. Readers who often read my articles will find that regarding marriage, I am indeed more inclined to believe that women can adjust themselves to achieve happiness, but this does not mean that in my eyes all men are perfect. The reason why I do not educate and blame male compatriots is because I don\’t think that kind of education helps. In marriage, men are both our lovers and our opponents. From a purely theoretical point of view, no one will listen to me shouting \”You must cherish your wife and love your wife.\” If women want to gain love and care, we must not only rely on men to be sensible, but also rely on our own strength to make them surrender. To give an inappropriate example, men are moths and women are lamps. With a light source, you don\’t want him to be able to refuse you even if he pounces on you again and again. If you don\’t have any source of light, no matter how much you urge and call, the moths will turn a deaf ear. As a wife, it is not enough to have the dedication to be a slave. We must be self-reliant and know how to manage ourselves and our marriage. For example, if this lady who jumped off a building had not rushed to pursue a second child after giving birth to her first child, but had given the child to a nanny or an elderly person and returned to the workplace, let alone missing a buffet on her birthday. Even if there is a big blow, maybe you can laugh it off. I couldn\’t see clearly the source and trajectory of happiness, so I followed the trend blindly and blindly followed the choice given by my husband. I blindly followed the choice but couldn\’t accept the disadvantages brought by this blind obedience, so I made a desperate move to fight back decisively. Is it all men\’s fault? What about women’s brains and thoughts?? Moreover, is death the only way to break despair? Sister Dazao also has a daughter. I want to solemnly answer the question of what kind of husband my daughter will find in the future today. As a mother, I can\’t actually control my child\’s love, but I will definitely give advice to my daughter when she is talking about marriage. My advice is that before getting married, you must consider what kind of lifestyle you want. If you marry purely for love, you must accept the various changes in love after entering the siege, and you must be mentally prepared: in this world, no girl is worthy of being pampered by a man like a princess throughout his life, unless she can always keep a princess. The light (this light is not ageless beauty, but the charm of personality). Of course, my preference is not to get married just for love. The better choice for marriage is to be suitable: suitable in terms of personality, suitable in life pursuits, suitable in interests and hobbies, suitable in the original family… And even in all aspects Even a suitable marriage cannot be perfect. Any marriage has its own shortcomings. In the process of facing the shortcomings, learning tolerance, learning understanding, learning to position yourself correctly, and learning to accept the imperfections of life are the only way for a soul to mature. Through such learning, you can develop an objective and rational way of thinking. If you can do this, even if you really encounter a scumbag, you can still turn around and find happiness again. If you cannot do these things, whoever you marry will not be happy in this life. The reader asked, why can\’t there be more husbands like Huang Lei in the world? It\’s simple, because there is only one Sun Li in the world. Huang Lei is a warm husband. It does not mean that anyone he marries will be a warm husband. He is just because he met Sun Li. Therefore, don’t always envy other people’s husbands. Different elements will produce different chemical reactions when they meet. To that woman, this man is like honey, but when it comes to you, he may become arsenic. There are four reasons why people who consciously pay too much will not receive the compensation and love they deserve. First, what you encounter is a white-eyed wolf that cannot survive. Under such circumstances, either endure it or get out, regardless of the cost and hardship of getting out. In many cases, it\’s not that you really can\’t live without the person in front of you, but that you lack the courage to start over and rely entirely on yourself. Two, you are too pretentious and fragile. Things that are not a big deal at all are treated as a big deal. If it is even slightly unsatisfactory, you will feel like the sky is falling. It’s not necessarily that men don’t love you, you are just blinded by excessive narcissism and have too many demands. You want to live a good life, but you have to be extremely poor. Third, you lack the wisdom to manage relationships. Working hard every day as a cow or a horse, but you still get tired and unhappy. Why? Method, method, method. If the method is wrong, all your efforts will be in vain; if the method is correct, you will get twice the result with half the effort. What is the correct way for couples to get along, in four words, varies from person to person. Different men have different seven inches. If you want to be happy, you must first understand where your man\’s seven inches are. If you master his seven inches, prescribe the right medicine and teach students according to their aptitude, unless they are too scumbag to be picked up, most men can be repaired into 24K good husbands over time. Fourth, you don’t understand what marriage is all about. Marriage is not the tomb of love, but it is the grave of twoEvenly matched people are constantly weighing and balancing their elbows in a trivial situation. During this process, the two people in the siege have been conducting all-round exchanges. Only when the shares held by each other are equal, the marriage will be stable and gentle. If the shares are out of balance, the marriage will be out of balance. Therefore, instead of always complaining about unfair income, it is better to think more about how to make the share in your hand more significant. Finally, I would like to add that as a woman, you should not only look at the problem from a female perspective, but also listen to the male voice when appropriate. Everyone said that brother-in-law Zao was a good husband. After I told him the ins and outs of the incident of the woman who jumped off the building, he said: \”Marrying such a woman will really bring bad luck to this man for eight lifetimes.\”