What mother has never yelled at her child?

One night I was taking a shower. Rooney walked to the door and kept knocking: \”Mom, Mom, come out and play with me.\” \”Wait a minute, Mom will go out to play with you after washing.\” But he still knocked on the door persistently. I started to get angry and called him by his name: \”XX, stop knocking!\” However, he didn\’t listen and continued to knock and kept shouting. I was already in a bad mood that day, but under the stimulation of his constant knocking and shouting, I completely lost my temper! I quickly got dressed, opened the door, grabbed him, and spanked him twice. He burst into tears immediately, and at the same time he started scolding me constantly: \”You are a bad mother! I don\’t love you anymore!…\” Looking at his pitiful look, I was overwhelmed with emotion, but I ignored him. I have to calm myself down first… I have always asked myself never to beat or scold my children. Because I was often yelled at by my mother since I was a child, and I know how frightening that is for children. In order to be an ideal mother, I worked hard to learn all kinds of parenting knowledge: actively participated in various parenting classes and took notes frequently; joined various mothers’ WeChat groups to discuss parenting experiences; followed various parenting public accounts and studied parenting articles; Buy various parenting education books, such as love and freedom, PET, positive discipline, and unconditional parenting… accompany your children as soon as you get off work, play games, sing children\’s songs, and do crafts… even if you wake up countless times every night , and also insisted on letting the child sleep next to me… Before the child was 3 years old, I always maintained the image of a perfect mother in my mind. The child fell, and I gently encouraged him to stand up and keep walking… The child accidentally broke the cup, and I patiently taught him how to maintain balance when holding the cup… The child hit someone, and I stopped him gently but firmly… I always tell myself: I want to be a gentle and peaceful mother, so that my children can grow up happily in love and freedom. I thought I could always do it, but I was wrong! After the child turned 3 years old, he gained a sense of independence and often started to do things that made me extremely depressed, just like David in \”David Can\’t\”, such as: graffiti on the wall… All the toys were scattered all over the floor…picking noses in public…playing with food…taking out the pots and pans at home and banging them…all dirty…in a good mood When I was young, I could still control my emotions and communicate with my children calmly as written in the parenting book. I told myself: This is the nature of children! However, no matter how good-tempered a person is, there are times when he is in a bad mood and loses control of his emotions. After all, I failed to keep the requirements for myself. When I tried my best to stop the child\’s naughty behavior, I finally started yelling at the child loudly, and even hit the child! In the beginning, I would regret it too. Because, all parenting experts tell us: yelling at children is useless! It can even cause serious harm to the child\’s spiritual growth! However, I can\’t do it! I am an ordinary person, I am not a god! I also had a yelling mother, and I spent my childhood surrounded by my mother’s yelling. Now, I am asked to be a perfect mother who doesn’t yell at my children, but I really can’t do it! I knowYelling is useless in disciplining children. I know that yelling may cause psychological trauma to children. I know that I should control my emotions. I know… But when emotions are out of control, all parenting theories are bullshit! Is it easy to be a mother? As written in Anthony Brown\’s \”My Mother\”, we should not only be a great chef with excellent skills, racking our brains to cook all kinds of delicious food for our husband and children every day; but also be a stuntman who is good at juggling, I change my tricks every day to make my children happy; I also want to be a magical painter, dress myself up brightly and not leave a sloppy image to my husband and children; I also want to be the strongest woman in the world, and go shopping with all the big and small bags. We should be a kind-hearted fairy or angel, and make the child happy when he is sad… In order to be a good mother, we turn ourselves into \”supermen\”… However, we are sad and sad, Who will comfort us when we are in a very bad mood? Let\’s put down the burden of being a perfect mother or a super mother. Sometimes, we have to be a ferocious lion and roar loudly when it\’s time to roar! But after I finish venting and calm down, I will hug the child, kiss the child, and tell him: \”Baby, I\’m sorry, mommy lost her temper just now! Mommy actually loves you very much!\” Let the child know that no matter how bad his behavior is, Mom loves him as a person, but she just hates what he does. Losing your temper with your child appropriately and letting your child know clearly where your boundaries are will make your child feel more secure. Suppressing yourself endlessly and letting your children go will not only make you tired, but also make your children have no boundaries in doing things. In fact, children are not as fragile as we think, and occasional beatings and scoldings will not leave too big a shadow in their hearts. On the contrary, children are much stronger than we think. After being beaten and scolded, we only need to give him a small hug or kiss and tell him \”I love you\”, and he will soon be playing happily again. But, no one wants to be a mother who yells all the time, right? Next time, when you feel that you are about to collapse because of your baby, think about this joke on the Internet: You must control the ancient power in your body, and the boat that stabilizes the family relationship moves forward steadily, so that you can coax, hug, and hug each other, and say it silently in your heart. : This baby is my biological, biological, biological! I inherited this gene, I inherited it, I inherited it! If you find out that you actually inherited his father\’s genes and you feel like getting furious, please also say silently in your mind: I chose his father, I chose him, I chose him! I deserve it, I deserve it, I deserve it! ! ! If you really can\’t help but get angry, yell at your child, or hit your child, don\’t regret it. Please read this passage from the book \”Children, Challenge\”: We are human beings, and we are imperfect humans. Even those of us who are experts and scholars who study education often behave like ordinary people. When you make a mistake, the best way is to laugh it off, and then move on, continue to better enrich yourself, and have the courage to accept your imperfections without feeling guilty afterwards. At that time, it was an unaffordable \”luxury\”. Frankly admit: \”Yes, I beat him, he asked for it. I know that this method is useless in educating him, but at least nowMaking me feel better. Now, I am able to pick up the pieces and find a way to move forward. \”After reading, recite these three passages from Teacher Tara silently: First, we all did our best at that moment, and we are already the best mothers. Second, as time goes forward, we have more With the resources, we will naturally try to do better. This is our homework as mothers. Third, children are also growing up. The lessons left over from history may be the children\’s destiny, which should be the children\’s life issues.