What should I do if I don’t know how to take care of my children? It’s the gentlest lie a man can tell

A few days ago, a mother angrily sent a WeChat message saying: It really makes me mad. I take care of my child by myself every day. Recently, because my child is sick, I have to ask my husband to help take care of her at night. He said no and told him to take the child\’s temperature and give him medicine. After doing it for a few times, he lost his temper and said that he didn\’t know how to be a father, so why force him? This moment made her almost desperate. My husband spoke very righteously and said that few of his colleagues had children. They feel that it is not the business of the elders. And I don’t know how to take care of children. I understand how this mother feels. I also understand what this father is thinking. Because our traditional concept is that women take care of children. I remember that when I decided to quit my job and go home to take care of my children, I was under a lot of pressure. Later, when I took care of it myself, I felt even more stressed. It’s not just that taking care of children every day is cumbersome. When you go out with your baby, there are many people pointing fingers. I found that at that time, taking my baby out from Monday to Friday was like an alien. In the community park, in the playground, even in the streets and alleys, on the way to pick up the baby, there was no man holding the baby like me. He looked like he was walking slowly with nothing to do. It\’s always weird to see a guy like me on these occasions. For example, when the little one went to play in the sand, I sat outside and waited, surrounded by mothers. My son carried a small bag and went to the vegetable market with me to buy vegetables. The vegetable sellers all felt strange, and their eyes were full of confusion. Indeed, our current overall social environment is not suitable for fathers to take care of their children full-time. But this does not mean that the father can not take care of the children. Many fathers say they don’t know how to take care of their children. Then I let go with peace of mind and gave full power to the mother of the child. In fact, not knowing how to take care of children is the biggest lie a man can tell. Do you really not know how to take care of children? I guess you just didn\’t take the time to try. Why can you do those much more complicated tasks, but say you can’t play with your children, don’t know what your children mean, and think it’s difficult for your children to understand? Because of that job, you spent countless hours and put a lot of effort into it before you could achieve certain results. Relatively speaking, being a father is not that difficult. Do you really not know how to be a father? Many times it is self-denial and failure to take a step forward. I thought \”I don\’t know how to hold a baby\” and didn\’t hug the baby more. You don’t know that children actually long for a strong hug from their father! If your wife disapproves, why don\’t you just give up? I feel that taking care of the baby and learning to take care of the baby are the mother\’s business alone. In fact, you know that in many difficult times, they long for someone to help them. A few days ago, a friend called me and asked about his son\’s schooling. I said that I will only be in the first grade next year, and I have to pick up and drop off kindergarten for a year, which is a bit tiring! \”You have to cherish it! When you really go to elementary school, it won\’t pester you like this, and you won\’t get used to it.\” I looked back at my son who was quietly stacking blocks in the living room. I really feel a little sour in my heart. A child\’s growth is really fleeting. Moreover, raising children has always been the responsibility of men. Once you consider raising children as your first responsibility as a father. Then this sense of responsibility will inspire you to learn. Obama once said in a statement: \”As the father of two daughters, I know that being a father is the most important thing for any man.One of the jobs. \”In his view, being a father is no less important than being a president. A father does not necessarily have to take his children to do adventurous and exciting things. In fact, the needs of children are very simple. Writer Tim Winton once said: Dad didn\’t necessarily take us to experience adventurous or exciting things. On the contrary, the things we experienced together were very common, but these times were unforgettable for me. Even ordinary things like hanging out with Dad were full of meaning. So warm, so my childhood life is a warm memory in my life. A few days ago, I took my son for a walk downstairs after dinner. Because the autumn has been cool recently, it was very comfortable at night, so we played happily along the way. That day, I didn’t Tell him \”Don\’t make trouble, don\’t make trouble!\” \”He didn\’t ask us to walk quietly, but held his hand and turned him around. He also helped him stand on his head, which was called lifting the earth. My son was very happy and had a great time. The next day, I was doing it in the kitchen During dinner, I heard him say to his mother seriously: \”Mom, last night, I played with my father for a long time, and he pulled me around in circles, and I felt like I was flying. \”Isn\’t that what your father often took you to play with when you were a child?\” \”\”yes! But dad hasn’t played with me like this for a long time! \”My heart trembled. The happiness that children want is so simple. Their little hearts are full of every bit of time with their parents. Even hanging out together or playing some simple games is warm. Now I Throw him up once and he will be excited for a long time. Moreover, you will find that in families where the father is involved in the child\’s growth and maintains a close relationship between father and son, the child can spend more smoothly in primary school or adolescence. Because children aged 0-3 years old, They need their mother\’s gentle love even more. But when they are over 3 years old, especially over 6 years old, they need more education from their father. Because dad represents rules and power in the traditional sense. This is a characteristic given to men by the Creator. Even a gentle father , serious discipline is more effective than that of a mother. At this stage, the child prefers to communicate with a rational man rather than a nagging woman. Therefore, the father\’s rationality and trust can win the child\’s heart more at this time, than with a nagging woman. It is much easier for anxious mothers to communicate, so fathers must actively participate in their children\’s growth. Many fathers say that they have no choice but to give up time with their children. Why don\’t you have a choice? In fact, opportunities are always there, but You have never thought about changing. Or you would rather give up the opportunity to choose and stay in the comfort zone. Handing over the burden of raising children will definitely save you a lot of worry. However, the precious parent-child time and parent-child attachment that have been sacrificed, Where do you find your way back? If you make up your mind to change, sometimes you will really change. A few days ago, I found a diary I wrote 4 years ago and saw the struggle at that time. \”It\’s really not easy to be a father. The baby was born in 2013 I have always wanted to be a good father and stay with him, but now I can only accompany him intermittently. I feel very regretful and uncomfortable. Now the baby has three teeth and can walk outside alone, but I only get this information from my mother’s phone calls. I can only listen to his voice on the phone every day, but he doesn\’t speak, soI stopped talking and listened to the conversation between him and his grandma. Those babbling bedtime conversations were really full of fun. He would call grandma and grandma, but not daddy. I feel very distressed. Many of my editor friends who are also fathers are also very busy with work, socializing, meeting friends, rushing manuscripts… they just don’t have time to spend with their children. They all say, \”A child\’s childhood has passed and he will never get it back tomorrow.\” But in the face of the cruel reality, sometimes, I really don\’t know what to do, so I can only say to myself, wait a minute! Wait a little longer, take him next month, and stay with him well. Although the baby still doesn’t know how to call me daddy, when he goes to my room and sees our photos, he will still smile, point, or touch. Every time he sees me, he still rushes towards me so affectionately and hugs me tightly. hugging each other. This should be the deepest love that nothing can replace! Work hard so that the baby can be pricked by my beard every day. Be a qualified father and raise this little boy in my family well. \”Two years later, I finally ended this intermittent companionship and took care of him myself. Now think about it, Xiao Xiaoyu has grown from a baby to about 6 years old. And I have also grown up from a new father. Don\’t say you can\’t be a dad. Maybe you haven\’t spent enough time.