What should I do if my child can’t make friends? I took my daughter to watch \”Miracle Boy\”

In September last year, my daughter Xinyi entered elementary school. Because she had been weak since she was young and her athletic ability was lagging behind, her performance in physical education class became a \”difficult family\”, and she was \”ridiculed\” by her classmates. She cried when she came home and told me that classmate xxx always laughed at her for tripping on her leg while skipping rope and for not being able to keep up with the radio exercises. Xinyi was also depressed for a time because of \”being laughed at\” and even found various excuses not to go to school. I am heartbroken! In fact, I know that sometimes the \”mockery\” between children may not be malicious, but for Xinyi, this little \”mockery\” means that she has become an alien, a character who is not accepted by the outside world. Children at this stage hope too much to be accepted by the group and long for friendship. Later, I contacted the little girl and expressed my \”help\” to her – my family is not good at sports, can you help her? After we chatted, I found out that the little girl actually had no ill intentions, but had a carefree personality. She readily agreed to my request for help, and would also use her mother’s WeChat account to update me on Xinyi’s current situation every once in a while (it was absolutely awesome). (!) After that, the two children also became very good best friends. Recently, the movie \”Wonder\” was released, adapted from the original work \”Wonder\”. It is a heart-warming story about a child who integrates into a group and comes out of his own world. This easily reminds me of my daughter at home who has problems making friends. So as soon as it was released, I took Xinyi with me and invited her elementary school classmates to watch it together. The children were very moved when they saw it. The protagonist of the story is a 10-year-old boy named Auggie. Due to a genetic defect, his face looks particularly weird. When he was born, the doctor declared that he would not survive more than 3 months. However, with the unremitting efforts and love of his family, Auggie grew up healthily. After 27 facial surgeries, Auggie was able to \”see\” and \”hear\”. Apart from looking weird and ugly, he is almost the same as a normal child. Monsters, aliens, lizard faces, mutants… Behind little Auggie, there are always such whispers. Auggie jokingly said to his classmates: \”I worked hard to be so handsome.\” Yes, \”Miracle Boy\” is the story of a special child who grew up bravely, left the family, and integrated into school. There are many shadows of introverted children in Auggie. They can see from this movie how they got out of their inner world, learned to make friends, and let the group accept them. The narrative angle of the movie is very special. It restores the life of little Auggie through the perspectives of different people such as little Auggie, his classmates, his sister, and his sister\’s boyfriend. Auggie is unfortunate because of his birth defects, but he also has a very lucky side. When he was growing up, Auggie\’s parents and sister have always been his strongest support. The family is like a warm thread that strings together various heart-wrenching plots throughout the movie. When Auggie made his first friend at school and offered to take him home to play, his mother choked up to hide her inner joy – her son had made a friend! When Auggie came home and told his father that he had a fight in school, his father asked him: \”Did you win?\” When Auggie was bullied by his classmates at school, he went home and cried, \”I tried my best to fake it.\”\”Pretending that I\’m not ugly, but it\’s not the case\”, his mother can only accompany him to face all this. No matter what difficulties Auggie encounters, his parents never make any accusations from the outside world, and always just give the frustrated little Auggie unconditional acceptance and support. Support. The helmet is not only the isolation zone of reality, but also Auggie’s refuge. Auggie said that his favorite holiday is Halloween, because on this day, all the children dress up as “monsters”. It is also on this day that he finally no longer They are alien. Some people say that everyone in the world is an apple that has been bitten by God. Some people have bigger flaws because God particularly loves their fragrance. Many people will see in Auggie’s story the man who once wanted to be eaten by others. Accept and strive to adapt to the collective shadow of yourself. Perhaps because of our appearance, because of our personality, or for various reasons, we were once so out of place in the process of adapting to the collective. Now, when we become parents, we face We are also worried about all kinds of school violence and bullying. Will my imperfect child be laughed at? How can we teach him to adapt to the group and be accepted by the group? There is a good saying: Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes. . Even in a simple elementary school campus, there will be classes and rights. There will be good children to help you, and there will also be bad children to cause you trouble. In the book \”Say Goodbye to the Troubles of Elementary School Students\” by Shirley Rao, in detail It breaks down how children should integrate into the group. 1. Don’t worry if you don’t fit in with others. Make friends to help you. Some children are introverted and unsociable. When they come to a new and unfamiliar environment, they will inevitably feel anxious. Just like Little Auggie in \”Miracle Boy\” Similarly, because of his inherent low self-esteem, when he first entered school, he even imagined that he was wearing a space suit, just to hide his special face. (Auggie\’s first day at school) But the bad boy still aimed at him as a prank. He killed the weakest Auggie. Auggie once faced a breakdown and told his mother the reason why he did not want to go to school. Although his mother was heartbroken, she had to make a choice now in order for Auggie to better integrate into society in the future. Since then, Auggie has been isolated by his classmates. He himself refused to open up to the people around him. Until later, with the help of his close friends, little Auggie regained his confidence and began to interact with his classmates. (Classmates who wanted to have dinner with Auggie) In fact, every child was in a strange environment. Everyone is a little scared. Do you still remember the heart-rending cries of children when they went to kindergarten? Children are naturally sensitive to unfamiliar environments, and the absence of their parents adds to the tension. Children are eager to make friends just to Let yourself feel at ease, but how to make friends? How to take the first step? Teacher Rao gives you some advice: Method 1: Start by making a close friend. Don’t rush to change your isolated situation. It requires a step-by-step process. You can try to make a close friend first and sincerely maintain your friendship. You will learn many ways to get along with others and make more friends. Method 2: Reflect on the reasons for being isolated , adjust the way you get along with your classmates. Why are others unwilling to play with you? If you have excellent grades, it may be because you usually show arrogance or inadvertentYi said some words that looked down upon others. If you are kind-hearted and never offend others, it may be because you are too weak, introverted and withdrawn to dare to communicate with others. If you have a bold personality, you may hurt others without even knowing it. In short, only by finding the internal factors that lead to your isolation can you try to change your personality and adjust the way you get along with others. Method 3: Keep an open mind so that you can get along well with your classmates. You don\’t have to be limited to your own preferences. You can usually participate in more class activities or class reunions. During the event, let go of your inhibitions and have fun with everyone. Don’t be afraid to joke and even laugh at yourself. Slowly, the way people view you will naturally change. 2. Don’t be afraid of being bullied, be brave and confident and become stronger. In a class, there are two types of students who are most likely to be bullied. One type is the students who are often criticized by the teacher, and the other type is the \”doorstep bag\” who has a weak personality, accepts everything and never resists. If you belong to the first category, as long as you correct your shortcomings, work hard to improve, and turn the teacher\’s criticism into praise, there will be fewer and fewer classmates who bully you; if you belong to the second category, you must understand that kindness does not mean weakness. , we can generously forgive other people\’s occasional jokes, but we must have a psychological bottom line. If other people\’s jokes escalate into bullying and touch your bottom line, you must give an appropriate counterattack. Auggie in \”Wonder Boys\” was targeted by bad boys when he first went to school. When the bad boy saw more and more classmates gathering around Auggie, he became jealous. He not only posted offensive photos on Auggie\’s locker, but also drew ugly portraits and deliberately showed them to Auggie to make him feel uncomfortable. But Augie was not defeated by these little tricks. He used his talents to win first place in the hands-on competition with his best friends. Those prank papers and photos were eventually discovered by the teacher and the bad boy was punished, and the bad boy realized his mistake. Teacher Rao gives you some advice: Method 1: If you don’t want to be bullied by others, you must first become stronger yourself. Power here includes many aspects, such as being physically strong, having top grades, being a teacher\’s right-hand assistant or a prestigious cadre, etc. As long as you work hard to do one of these things, almost no one in the class will bully you. Method 2: Distinguish whether the classmate is joking or maliciously teasing. Sometimes, it is normal for classmates to like to make some jokes among themselves. Try to take it easy and laugh it off. If the joke goes too far and hurts you, you must first seriously state: \”I don\’t like making jokes like this.\” If the classmate still continues, you can warn him and you will be rude to him if he does it again. . When necessary, appropriate counterattacks can be given, but caution should be exercised in a measured manner. Method 3: If you have been bullied by classmates for a long time and are unable to solve it yourself, you should seek help from your class teacher. Every child needs good friends. If there are no good friends in school, the child\’s world will be like losing the sunshine. For primary school students, the power of good friends sometimes even exceeds that of parents and teachers. People often use the word \”inseparable\” to describe the relationship between good friends, and it couldn\’t be more appropriate. However, it is precisely because of this \”inseparable\” relationship between good friends thatSome conflicts will inevitably occur. I hope this book can enlighten parents on how to resolve conflicts.