What should I do if my child doesn’t eat? Who will suffer more?

Because eating is human instinct, even if you don’t pay so much attention, children will slowly learn to eat sooner or later. Xiaofu\’s transition to learning to eat has been fairly smooth, but there are always some mothers who are more anxious about their children\’s eating issues, or there are always some children who are particularly troubled and painful about the issue of eating. Some mothers also left me messages and raised questions about their children’s meals. In fact, if a child is unwilling to eat, excluding physical problems, it may be a psychological problem of the child or the parents themselves. The following two questions are typical examples: Question 1: My child loves to spit up milk. Normally, after a baby is fed, he should be put on an adult’s shoulder and patted on the back to prevent him from spitting up milk. My family strictly follows this step, but he still often spits up and eats. Breastfeeding periods occur several times a week on average. Especially after 6 months, the amount of milk to be consumed is large, and if the baby is not full, he will cry until he vomits. I went to the hospital for this and the doctor said that all children with incomplete gastrointestinal development are like this, but this happens very frequently in my family. Chen Yan’s mother said that there is an interesting saying about children spitting milk, saying that children spitting milk are expressing their anger. The root of anger is lack of satisfaction. Today’s mothers are very busy. They cannot hug their children whenever they cry, nor can they provide milk to their children as soon as they are hungry. Especially when \”delayed gratification\” has become a popular parenting concept, young mothers always firmly believe that \”the child must not cry before holding it, and crying until it is full, so that he or she will become well-behaved.\” So they think the same is true for breastfeeding. But it is a child\’s nature to eat when he is tired, sleeps and hungry, but he cannot eat when he wants to eat. If you feed him milk when he does not want to eat, he will naturally not want to. Over time, children will become angry, and the way weak children express their anger is to spit milk. Milk, in a sense, symbolizes mother\’s love. \”You didn\’t love me when I needed you. Now I don\’t need you!\” This is the voice hidden in the heart of a little child. Therefore, when your child is still a little baby, please try to meet his needs. Hug him more, talk to him more, no matter how busy you are at work, no matter how much money you have to earn, isn\’t it all for him? As for \”delayed gratification\”, please leave it to children after the age of 5. Question 2: What should I do if my child doesn’t eat? My child always has to be forced to feed him before he can eat, and he eats very slowly. This has been the case since I weaned him over ten months ago. And he doesn’t just skip a meal. Sometimes he skips food for a whole day, or even for several days in a row. He only eats some fruits. Sometimes I get so angry that I don’t give him anything and he just eats nothing. He looks like he’s losing weight. I feel really distressed and blame myself, what should I do? No matter what I say to him, I feel like he can\’t understand… Chen Yan\’s mother said that first of all, there is no direct relationship between when to wean the child, and whether the weaning process is painful, and whether the child eats or not. . So mom doesn’t need to blame herself too much. If your child refuses to eat, just let him do it without having to chase him to feed him. When he is hungry, he will naturally come to eat. Because normal people can feel hungry, and so do children. Parents only need to provide healthy and reasonable food, set an example by themselves, and learn from what their children can doPoint to food and start to consciously cultivate him to eat independently when he can grasp a spoon. Give the child some time and provide appropriate guidance, and the child will be able to eat well on his own. Think about it, children who are forced to eat eat food they don’t want to eat and eat more than they can eat. Eating becomes a very painful thing. They gradually lose interest in food and the feeling of hunger and fullness. He becomes more and more afraid of eating and resists eating. This will create a vicious cycle that cannot be broken. Secondly, the mother should also think about whether the weaning process of the child is very painful, so the mother has a compensatory mentality. She must eat more food to make herself feel satisfied and make up for her debt to the child. If you see that your child is extremely thin and you feel it is unacceptable, you must let your child eat more. In fact, whether it is natural weaning or forced weaning, the child will one day no longer need the mother\’s milk. But a mother\’s love for her child is not only reflected in breast milk or how much food she eats. There are certain rules for children\’s hair growth, but it cannot be generalized. As long as the child\’s height and weight do not deviate too far from the reasonable range, it is acceptable. As for the child not eating for several days in a row, it must be because he ate other snacks (including fruits) in between. If a child has no obvious hunger and is not emotionally willing, he will naturally not want to eat. As long as you resolutely do not provide food to children during non-meal times, this problem will be effectively solved. I understand very well the mood of mothers, \”I hope their children will happily eat the food they cook and grow up quickly.\” But there is a kind of mother who is not good at cooking, and I am the same. However, this does not hinder my enthusiasm for cooking, because Xiaofu feels that \”the food cooked by my mother is the most delicious food in the world.\” In short, no matter whether the food is delicious or not, he is always my favorite. Just like in the Korean drama \”Reply 1988\”, Sunwoo\’s mother is a mother who is not very good at cooking. The rice she cooks is always too salty and not delicious. When Shanyu eats with his friends at school, he always eats their food. But Shanyu is a very sensible child, and he is particularly considerate of the hardship of his mother taking care of him and his sister alone. So every day before going home, he would eat up the rice his mother brought him. Because for him, although the food cooked by his mother is difficult to swallow, the love his mother gives him is no less than that of other parents. Therefore, what he ate one bite at a time was not only the food cooked by his mother, but also his mother\’s love for him. I hope mothers will let go of the entanglement that their children don’t like to eat and don’t bear the pain of their children not eating on themselves, so that their children can feel more relaxed when eating. With a happy mood, children will naturally gradually become more fond of eating.