What should I do if my child doesn’t have a long memory?

At 8:00 every night, a large-scale family theater \”Mother\’s Kindness and Son\’s Filial Piety\” will be performed on time next door: I asked you to turn off the TV, are you deaf? How many times have you done this question and you still get it wrong? You are so stupid! What evil did I do in my previous life to give birth to a child like you? It’s such a torture! …The same lines, (violence of language) the same protagonist, (mother, son) the same location, (home) outside the theater, I can feel extremely anxious and irritable every day. Not to mention the little protagonist who is at the center of the storm. I once tried to communicate with my neighbor’s mother: “Aren’t you worried about your child’s mental illness when you yell at your child like this every day?” Here’s what she said: “My child is thick-skinned and will be smiling the next day, and he will be quite obedient. .\” My mother seemed to have mastered the \”magic weapon\” to control her child. She looked proud, but I felt a little sad and sad for no reason. Is this \”yelling\” parent-child model really right? Can \”not resist\” really achieve the purpose of education? In fact, the opposite is true. The child\’s failure to respond is actually because he does not know how to deal with the injury, so he can only suppress it into his subconscious mind. This has become an indelible scar as he grows up. \”Children are your most important audience.\” What are children thinking when you yell at them? I once read a book like \”The Mother Who Yells When Angry\”, which vividly depicts the inner world of a child after being yelled at. 15 high-scoring baby education books recommended, which can be called life textbooks. When they are yelled at, their hearts are already torn apart and their brains are basically in a blank state. In this case, his body instinctively produces a self-protection mechanism and cannot receive information from his parents at all, let alone think about his own behavior and make changes? The longer time goes by, the more I am yelled at, the more numb I become, and I even develop an immunity against yelling. Parents mistakenly believe that yelling once or twice does not work, and they start to raise their voice and become more aggressive. In fact, the child\’s heart has long been closed and cannot hear your voice. Children are always their parents’ most loyal audience, and they are also the first objects for children to understand the world: if parents are good, the external world is good; if parents are bad, the external world is also bad; parents have changeable temperaments, The world outside is chaotic. In other words, all the behaviors we feed back to our children will become the main direction of the children\’s feedback in the future. Children who live under \”emotional high pressure\” for a long time will inevitably lose control of their growth path: 1. They are withdrawn, cowardly, have low self-esteem, are unsociable, and become a people-pleasing personality; 2. They habitually neglect themselves, and their growth process will be very difficult. Hard work; 3. Imitate the yelling pattern of parents and become \”another out-of-control you\”; 4. Children become increasingly insecure and are always afraid of being abandoned. These will become \”shortcomings\” in the child\’s growth and may even affect the child\’s life. ! \”Learn from children, you are the favorite among exceptions.\” If there is only one person in the world, no matter how you yell or scold, it will not affect him from loving you and sticking to you. This person is the child. Children are always right Parents are tolerant and can allow all behaviors of parents. No one does not love their children. Whether it is parents or children, growth is a process of constant self-reflection and self-correction. Many times, we think we are doing everything for the best for our children, but the methods we use are wrong. These ineffective strategies will cause children to ignore their parents\’ good intentions, and naturally they will not feel the existence of love. Managing emotions is difficult, but that doesn\’t mean parents can\’t make changes and control their tempers. To yell or not to yell, the choice is still up to each parent. Every parent longs for a perfect child, but the reality is that they will rub off, talk back, be playful, and mischievous. These are our children, and we have to accept and understand them. Give up being picky about your children and be more patient. There is an old saying: \”Don\’t speak loudly to be reasonable.\” Children also long for education from their parents in a low voice. \”Talking about love with children is not about reasoning.\” Psychologist Adler once said, \”Fortunate people are healed by childhood throughout their lives. Unlucky people are healed by childhood throughout their lives.\” What children need is not a complete but full of cold violence. Family, what he needs is a loving and warm home! Parents\’ words and deeds and the atmosphere of the family have a profound impact on children. Only love education can allow children to feel the purest emotions. Good parenting conditions are found in the world of family, hidden in the details of daily life. Many times, we can use wisdom different from theirs to let our children grow into what they like and ideally look like. \”No yelling, no yelling\” upgrades our way of parenting and getting along: learn to apologize in time. Apologizing is not about suddenly behaving well to your children. This kind of repair effect is not very effective. What you need is to sincerely say to your children: \”I\’m sorry.\” !\” It is often more effective for parents to reason with their children after apologizing. Learn to reflect on whether you are really \”getting angry\” because of your child, or because you have accumulated too many grievances in your life? Only after you take good care of your own emotions can you be more patient in taking care of your children. Learn to listen to effective communication, understand the reasons behind children\’s mischief, listen to children\’s inner feelings, and give children a feasible way to change. Tell your children you love them promptly. Children who grow up in a family that actively expresses love can learn to love and care for others from the family, which will also make them feel more secure and confident. A good family atmosphere is the best gift for children to grow up healthily. Please teach your children to use the gentleness of spring breeze and rain to moisten things silently. When we raise our children tenderly, we are actually raising ourselves tenderly again. So, don’t let your child live in a world of roughness and self-doubt. Give him love, give him strength, give him confidence, and you will find that his growth will be even better than you imagined!