What should I do if my child encounters difficulties? Wise parents do this

Picture: La Guerre des Last week, Baoduo Kindergarten had a lecture on parent-child reading, and I accompanied him to attend. In the middle part of the game, several nouns are given and the children are asked to tell a short story with these words in the content. Bao Duo had long since seen the small gift prepared by others and said excitedly: \”Mom, I want it, I want it!\” \”Go on stage and tell a story and you can get it. Go ahead and tell it!\” I encouraged him. . In fact, he rarely tries to make up stories. I don’t know where I went wrong in my daily training. Anyway, he is not very confident in making up stories. Even in the most relaxed state in private, I say: \”Can you make up a story?\” He will refuse without even thinking, \”No, I can\’t, you tell it!\” This time it\’s a little different. After I finished speaking, he thought for a while and used a few words given by the teacher to connect them into a few sentences. I said, \”Okay, that\’s it. I\’ll say this when I get on stage.\” But as soon as he was about to go on stage, he panicked and said, \”But I don\’t know how!\” As he spoke, he stamped his feet and started shouting. , the shouting turned into crying at the end. In the venue where the lecture was taking place, he shouted, and of course we, mother and son, were looked at sideways. I stopped his crying, but I couldn\’t stop his lack of confidence. Until the end of the lecture, he did not have the courage to go on stage. When the crowd cleared, he finally realized that the chance of him getting the toy was zero, and he couldn\’t help but burst into tears. As his mother, I have a comprehensive and objective understanding of him. He actually has experience on stage. He sang with street singers while passers-by watched. He also gave a flag-raising speech in front of all the teachers and students in the school. Excluding the possibility of stage fright, I believe that his lack of courage was simply because he was not confident in telling stories. As he grew up, I thought of various ways to train his storytelling ability, recognized his storytelling ability, encouraged him, and hoped to give him confidence. Although the effect is not great, my confidence in him is still there. Not being eager to deny your child\’s abilities is an essential quality for a parent. When a child says he doesn\’t know how to do it, and the parents\’ efforts are not immediately rewarded, it is the time when parents are most likely to deny their children. Adler said in \”Children\’s Educational Psychology\”: \”Until our abilities and talents are expressed, we do not have a clear understanding of our full potential.\” Therefore, the reason for not denying children casually is to not casually deny them. Stifling a child’s potential. Insulting or belittling children at will is even more unacceptable. When parents are angry, they can\’t help but complain about their children and say frustrating words, \”You are so stupid!\” or \”I think you will be like this for the rest of your life.\” This is also an extremely wrong approach. For parents, this is Just venting frustration. However, for children, they themselves do not have such strong critical thinking ability, and they do not have the ability to analyze the mistakes in their parents’ words. Children will think that what their parents say is the “golden rule”. If you say I can’t do it, it must be me. no. Once they encounter difficulties, they will take advantage of the situation and think thatIt’s about encountering “insurmountable obstacles” and seeing them as evidence that “I can’t do it.” Therefore, be sure not to insult and belittle children, let alone think that insults and belittling can effectively change children. The so-called \”provoking method\” is not used in this way. Although sometimes children will change their behavior because they are afraid of being laughed at, this is just Illusion. We cannot mistake illusions for results. In life, there are still many parents who are accustomed to using the argument of \”genetic fatalism\” to evaluate their children, which is also undesirable. For example: \”No one in our family can sing well, so you still want to be a musician?\” or, \”I have never been good at studying since I was a child, and my children are not very smart.\” These arguments are extremely wrong. . \”Perhaps one of the biggest fallacies in children\’s education is to believe that human abilities are inherited. (Adler\’s \”Children\’s Educational Psychology\”)\” The statement that abilities come from heredity is too easily regarded by parents, teachers and children as a What an excuse. By acknowledging that abilities come from heredity, children do not have to work hard to overcome the difficulties they encounter in life, and parents do not have to spend efforts to guide their children or explore their children\’s potential. This is really a good excuse to evade responsibility. Do you still remember Wang Yun, a college entrance examination student from Shanghai School for Blind Children who \”blows up the screen\” after the college entrance examination? He scored 623 in this year\’s college entrance examination, only 37 points away from the highest score of 660! Wang Yun was completely blind when he was 3 years old, but he not only has excellent academic performance, but also has a wide range of interests, such as cycling, swimming, marathon, outdoor adventure, piano, bamboo flute… He likes everything and is good at everything, which is really amazing! His personal efforts are important, but behind him, the efforts of his parents cannot be ignored. A child who is blind is such an obstacle in life! However, his parents just led Wang Yun and rushed over through all the obstacles. In people’s stereotype, are blind children unable to do anything? Is the future career choice for blind people only massage for the blind, or more advanced, just being a piano tuner? But Wang Yun breaks people\’s stereotypes. He has a wide range of interests and is good at many things. I think facing and overcoming difficulties must be the most important lesson Wang Yun\’s parents taught their children. Children who have not been taught how to face and overcome difficulties will always avoid the difficulties and obstacles they encounter in life when they grow up, which will only make their life circles smaller and smaller (Adler\’s \” \”Children\’s Personality Education\”). Wise parents will patiently guide their children to overcome difficulties and surpass themselves when they encounter difficulties.