What should I do if my child has a bad attitude toward learning?

Many parents feel that their children lack initiative in learning and homework. If you urge him to do his homework, he may cry and talk back. If he is better, he may be impatient to do his homework. But even after sitting down at the desk, the child may still not be able to concentrate on his homework. One moment I would call my mother, talk about something unrelated to my homework, and the next moment I would have to go to the toilet; or I would spin pens, pick out erasers, or just be in a daze. In response to such a question, many parents will say, \”This child just has a bad attitude.\” But it is estimated that none of the parents who say this can really solve the problem. So what are the real causes of these problems? How to solve it? In fact, what many parents call attitude problems are actually emotional problems of their children. They feel tired, annoyed, or are afraid of not being able to write well. So why do children have such emotions? In fact, parents should reflect on what they have done. What did you often do when your children were doing homework? In fact, many parents do the same cycle, that is, nagging and reasoning, then urging him to yell at him, then scolding him and hitting him, and the cycle continues. In the process, he will often be criticized. In such a cycle, what changes will happen to the child? Parents can put themselves in their shoes and think about it. How would they feel if their boss or leader often treated them like this while they were at work? For example, when you are making a form, and then your boss points at you, saying that the format here is wrong, the word is typed wrong there, and he also says, \”These are all wrong, why are they of no use at all?\” How do you feel? Then you get impatient and want to drink water and relax, but he starts to think you are slow and nags you and tries to make things worse for you. How do you feel? Do you still think about working proactively? Maybe the most I can do is tolerate it for the sake of money. But after all, there is a limit to a person\’s patience. Over time, he will still be unable to help but explode, either by scolding him back or by firing his boss. But the child is different, he cannot do this to his parents. And the child has to spend more than ten years like this. In this depressing and continuous atmosphere, children will not be in a good mood when doing homework, and they will lie down as soon as possible. If you continue to be forced, you may end up with depression. The alarm in the human brain. Many of the so-called attitude problems that parents have, as well as the so-called habit problems and concentration problems, are actually emotional problems. Because children feel irritated and anxious in such a learning atmosphere, and then they show signs of lying flat, lying around, escaping, and not concentrating. So why do you behave like this when you are under emotional stress? This is related to the structure of our brain. There is a part of the human brain called the amygdala. When encountering external stimuli, it will sound an alarm and form a stress response. For example, when encountering wild animals in the wild, the amygdala will alarm, telling the brain that danger is coming, and take immediate measures. If it is a danger that can be dealt with, our behavior is to \”fight\” and fight with it. If we can\’t fight, our behavior is to \”escape\” and stay away from the danger as much as possible; if we can\’t escape, we may freeze there, that is, \”stay\”. When a stress response occurs, people will only have these three behavioral patterns. So what does this have to do with children’s homework?Because when parents yell, hit, and scold their children, they can easily stimulate the child\’s amygdala, causing the child to form a stress response, and then the child\’s behavior will fall into these three categories. So if you ask him to do his homework, the older child will be rebellious and talk back, which is called \”beating\”; the younger child will \”escape\”, asking for water, going to the toilet, and going to the toilet again. Talk about things that have nothing to do with homework. If the parents are particularly strong, the children will have no choice but to \”stay\”. For example, some children bite their fingers, clear their throats, and blink their eyes. They are actually using this controllable method to relieve the current emotional pressure. Relieving Emotional Stress In fact, many children\’s tics are caused by \”dullness\” caused by emotional stress. If it lasts longer, this tic may turn into compulsion or some psychological problems. So what should parents do? In fact, the most important thing for parents is to relieve their children\’s emotional pressure. The first thing parents need to do is stop the cycle of emotional stress for their children. If a person is to be able to do something continuously and proactively, he must feel continuous happiness in the process of doing it, rather than what benefits he can get or what benefits he will have in the future. For example, losing weight is beneficial in the long run, but few people actively exercise because of it. For example, binge-watching videos is not beneficial in the long run, but many people still binge-watch it every day. This is also the reason why parents’ methods such as beating and scolding will not make children take the initiative. If you want your child to be able to continue and take the initiative to learn and write homework, the most important thing is that he feels continuous happiness during the learning process. One thing parents must do is to give their children freedom, that is, let them go and let them arrange their own homework. If children are constantly being arranged, they will definitely accumulate emotional stress. If you want your children to have a good emotional experience, one thing parents have to do is praise their children. Praise your children when they do well, and praise them when they do poorly. When children are doing homework, what many parents call attitude problems, concentration problems, and habit problems are actually emotional problems. It is because the child accumulated too much emotional pressure when doing homework in the past and developed a stress reaction. Where does a child’s emotional stress come from? In fact, the root cause lies in the parents\’ past wrong methods such as yelling, beating, and scolding. To solve the problem of procrastination in homework, the most important task for parents is to relieve their children\’s emotional pressure.