What should I do if my child is not confident, timid and introverted?

A few days ago, a parent left a message on the backstage of the public account, saying that their children have been saying they don’t want to go to school lately. When asked why, the child said that his classmates were disobedient and the teacher often lost his temper. Although he did not cause trouble, he was still afraid of the teacher\’s anger. This parent is very anxious. The child is usually timid and introverted and wants to retreat when faced with the slightest challenge. He is worried that this personality will affect his future development. Indeed, parents like children who are confident, brave, and generous. They are not afraid of dealing with people or stage fright, and can move forward courageously when encountering difficulties; while children who are timid and fearful are always timid, afraid to talk to people, and dare not talk to others. When you perform on stage, you may even become the target of bullying. Some are born with such personalities, but most of them are influenced and shaped by the acquired environment, especially in the family. The way parents treat their children plays a key role in the formation of children\’s personalities. For example, the following three practices are most likely to raise timid and cowardly children: PART.01 Insufficient love and companionship in childhood makes children insecure. American psychologists once conducted a \”strange situation\” experiment to observe the separation and reunion of babies and their mothers. After analyzing his reaction to his mother, his performance when getting along with strangers, and his exploratory behavior, he summarized it into two attachment types: \”secure\” and \”insecure\”. Children with a secure attachment type have a stronger inner sense of security and are more emotionally stable and peaceful. This is because in early childhood, especially between the ages of 0 and 3, a companion (usually the mother) can give the child the sense of security and love he needs. When such children grow up, they are usually more independent, have a stronger heart, and will not collapse because of trivial things. Recommended must-read parenting books for parents: Jin Yunrong loves on the left and disciplines on the right pdf download. Children with the \”insecure\” attachment type are more sensitive, worry about gains and losses, and are prone to mood swings. When these children grow up, they have \”wrong\” personalities. If you think too much, you will easily feel scared and shrink back when something happens. Many parents are forced to make a living and leave their children to the care of the elderly after giving birth. They neglect to take care of and accompany their children during the most important first three years of their lives, which can easily lead to a lack of security in their children. There are also parents who, when their children were young, did not let them feel stable love, failed to meet their children\’s reasonable needs in a timely manner, and were indifferent and ignorant of their children\’s emotions and feelings. You.\” These behaviors will make the child feel fearful and uneasy, afraid that he will really be abandoned, and will not be able to establish a secure attachment relationship with his parents, which will in turn affect the formation of his character and make it easier for him to interact with others in the future. Produce a sense of panic and uncertainty. Therefore, parents should pay attention to the quality of companionship for their children in the early stages of their lives, interact with them frequently, and have physical contact with them, such as touching, hugging, kissing, etc., especially when children are 0-3 years old. Try to take care of your children by yourself and meet their children\’s needs in a timely manner. need. When children are crying, sad, angry, etc., parents should not stop or ignore them. First, keep their emotions stable, stay with them, accept their children\’s emotions, and express understanding; patiently let their children\’s emotions flow and help them understand Emotions, slowly learn to control them. This kind of love and support will make children feel safe and confirm their own value.feel. The close interactions and happy times between children and their parents when they were young will become the best and warmest memories in a child\’s life, providing a steady stream of energy to his psychology. PART.02 Over-protection and restriction, children’s insufficient abilities. Many parents are very meticulous in taking care of their children. They are afraid that their children will fall or be bumped into, and they are reluctant to let their children endure hardship and hardship, so they protect and restrict their children everywhere. \”Oh, it\’s so dirty, stop playing.\” \”Be careful, slow down, don\’t fall!\” \”Don\’t move, I\’ll pour it, I\’ll get burned soon.\” As everyone knows, this kind of behavior that thinks it is loving children actually turns out to be It will hinder the growth of children. On the one hand, parents\’ \”fussing\”, excessive worry, and scolding children to stop will make children feel that everything around them is full of danger, increasing their fear. On the other hand, parents\’ restrictions deprive children of opportunities to experience, explore, exercise their abilities, and train their courage. When children leave the protective circle of their parents and enter school or among their peers, they find that they cannot do this or that, and they encounter obstacles everywhere. , resulting in a psychological gap and a blow to self-confidence. Slowly, children become timid and fearful, dare not try, become dependent on their parents, and cannot take responsibility. Therefore, from the perspective of cultivating children\’s self-confidence, sense of responsibility, and promoting their independent growth, parents should not over-protect or restrict their children. Allowing children to run, jump, move their hands, and explore independently within a safe range will only be beneficial to their growth. If you don\’t know how to do something, give your child the correct example. Through repeated training and practice, your child\’s ability will continue to improve. It is in the process of doing things independently and improving their abilities that children will have a sense of control over the things around them, become more and more confident in themselves, and their courage will naturally increase and they will no longer be afraid of things. PART.03 Inappropriate language destroys children\’s self-confidence. There is also a type of parents who are strict and demanding in educating their children. They blame their children if they make a mistake, and they criticize and deny their children if they do not do anything well. The original intention of parents is to let their children understand their own shortcomings and encourage them to make progress. However, overly strict education will only make children dare not try to avoid making mistakes, and tend to avoid and retreat when encountering difficulties. Always attacking and denying children and not knowing how to encourage and appreciate their children\’s strengths will destroy their self-confidence and make them fall into self-doubt and self-denial. Therefore, when doing things, they will think too much and worry that they can\’t do it, so they will be restrained. Unable to move forward bravely. This warns us to treat children’s mistakes correctly. In the process of growing up, children will inevitably make mistakes from being inexperienced to being proficient, from being ignorant to being sensible, from being reckless to being mature. Don\’t deny the child as a whole because of some mistakes, and don\’t accept the child\’s mistakes. Instead, keep calm and Be firm and teach children to recognize mistakes and gain experience from them. Fan Deng’s reading recommendation: How to stimulate children’s inner drive pdf+mobi+epub In addition, every child has advantages and disadvantages. It is understandable that parents want their children to progress and improve themselves, but they cannot just focus on their children. We should also be good at discovering and recognizing the advantages of our children, love this child unconditionally, and lead him in a good direction. In general,A child who is confident, brave, and mentally strong needs unconditional love and positive attention from his parents. They should let their children try, explore, and exercise their abilities. They should not criticize their children harshly. They should recognize their children\’s shortcomings while also affirming their strengths. Start from these aspects and avoid the above three improper practices, so as to avoid raising a timid and cowardly child.