What should I do if my child is stubborn and disobedient? Learn this method and your instructions will be super useful

The book \”Habitual Parenting: How to Win Your Children\’s Cooperation\” was written by Noel Janes-Norton, a senior education expert. The author advocates raising children in a more peaceful, relaxed, and enjoyable way, and proposes a step-by-step parenting method to make your children more cooperative, confident, independent, and considerate, and help you regain the joy of family life. This time we focus on sharing the \”six-step\” change method in the book, so that giving your instructions once is enough. ① \”Don\’t say twice\” If you want your children to cooperate from the beginning, the method provided by the author is \”never say twice\”. The method behind it is the \”six-step method of cooperation\”, which allows your child to cooperate with you without complaint most of the time as soon as you give an order. There is no need to nag, repeat, reason, or yell. Follow these six steps, and you will have a very powerful weapon in your parenting bag. ② \”Step 1: Look at him\” This is a positive and respectful method for the child. Use this method when your child has done nothing wrong and you want him to move on to the next thing. The first step is to stop what you are doing, walk up to your child, and look at him. Don\’t shout across the room, because when your child can\’t see us, it\’s easy for him to ignore us and not take our instructions seriously. If we stand in front of him and look at him, his attention will be attracted and he will think that what the adults say is serious and firm. This way he will also be ready to receive instructions, otherwise his brain will not be enough. ③\”Step 2: Wait\” When to wait? Until the child stops what he is doing and looks at you. The first step is to attract his attention and realize that you are coming, and the second step is to grab the child\’s attention. Because a common situation is: the child is concentrating on drawing, reading, writing cards or watching cartoons. When you speak at this time, he may not listen at all, so it will be useless no matter how many times you repeat it, and you will be very angry. In addition, when he is minding his own business, even if he hears something, he will quickly forget it because he is absorbed in his own business. If you stand for a short while, wait until he raises his head to look at you, and then give instructions, you will find that your child\’s attitude is different. ④\”Step 3: Make it clear\” \”First go and pack away the toys, then put your clothes in the clothes frame, then throw away the drawing paper, and finally…\” When giving instructions to children, the most taboo thing is Long story with unclear logic. When telling children a request, the language must be simple, the meaning must be clear, and it must be said only once. Only then you won\’t need to repeat. If you repeat the words several times before you understand them clearly, the message you inadvertently send to your children is: \”Oh, I don\’t have to understand the words clearly the first time. You will say them more times anyway.\” If things go on like this, when you think about it again, If you correct it, it will be too late, and the child will lose the opportunity to learn to be patient and obedient. ⑤ \”Step 4: Retell\” Not only do you have to say it yourself, but you also have to ask the child to retell the request to you. Guide him to speak accurately and completely in his own words. When a child describes in words what he should do, his brain automatically generates a clear, vivid pictureOn the screen, the relevant matters of what he does can be displayed on the screen. With the brain\’s depiction, it is not that difficult to transition him from a state of playing to a state of doing things. In addition, when a child tells himself what he must do, he also develops a sense of ownership. He will take it more seriously than your request. ⑥ \”Step 5: Stand and wait for him.\” Change is a long process. Don\’t think about getting it right in one step. Even if he repeats your request, you can\’t turn around and leave. You must continue to stand and wait for him. Waiting shows that you are serious; waiting means that it must be done; waiting shows that you care about him. Therefore, if you are in a hurry and have something to do, you cannot use this method. Your departure will destroy the habit that has been hard to develop. You may think, isn’t this a waste of time? There are so many things to do at home and outside. But the most important thing you need when raising children is patience. If your child does not cooperate with you most of the time, then you should consider it as an investment to stand and wait for your child to respond, in order to achieve a more peaceful, relaxed and happy family. Life. ⑦ \”Step 6: Affirmation\” While you are standing and waiting, if your child takes a small step in the right direction, no matter how insignificant his action is, even if he just puts down the object in his hand, you must use a description The language affirms him and encourages him. \”You stopped arguing.\” \”You put down the paintbrush.\” ​​\”You didn\’t complain, that\’s great.\” With such continuous encouragement, children will become more and more actively cooperate with their parents and show their best side. Even if your child doesn’t want to do it, your encouragement is his greatest comfort, which can soothe his impetuous mood and boredom. To sum up, the \”six-step method\” may seem cumbersome and not easy to do at first, but as your practice deepens, the steps required will become less and less, because your child will become more and more cooperative. In the later stages, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that your child can move quickly just by taking the first three steps.