What should I do if my child is timid and unsure of himself?

In childhood, a child not only needs a mother, but also a father. Only with the love of both parents can the child grow up healthily. Parents\’ love should include tolerance, acceptance, support, and respect, rather than being so-called, sarcastic, picky, and disrespectful. When children grow up, parents do not view their children with acceptance, tolerance and respect, but with critical and critical eyes. Not only will the children not become outstanding when they grow up, they will even become worse because of their parents\’ pickyness. . The day before yesterday, I took my second child to play in the playground downstairs, and I chatted with a mother I know well. She said that she was very anxious with her child. Every day either one child cries or that child cries. There is no space of my own, and my husband never helps. When my husband got tired of hearing this, he would also say, \”How come you can\’t even take good care of your children, but you only make them cry? How could you be such a mother?\” After saying that, he sat and played games leisurely, as if taking care of the children was the mother\’s business and had nothing to do with the father. As for her, she also has a very stubborn temper. She insists on being angry and won\’t help if she doesn\’t help. She can take care of the children by herself. Because of anger and unwillingness to give in and bow down, I was extremely tired, had negative emotions, could not be released and channeled, and was extremely anxious. Therefore, I always feel like there is a fire in my stomach, and I always want to find fault with my child, yell at my child and lose my temper. The towels are not put away, the toothpaste is not put away, the homework is not neatly written, the shoes are not put away, and the schoolbag is not put away. In short, it is all kinds of unpleasant, so he often yells at his children. The child also became cowardly and timid because she often yelled at her. [Children\’s Bedtime Stories] Collector\’s Edition of 300 Classic Philosophical Stories Children who are often criticized by their parents will always question themselves, feel that they are incapable of anything, and have extremely low self-esteem and no self-confidence. She often thinks about changing herself, but she can\’t control herself when her emotions rise. She always feels that she is easily aroused. After listening to what Bao Ma said, I especially understand Bao Ma’s tiredness and hardship in raising her children, and I also understand her emotions that can easily get out of control. Because, some time ago, I also felt irritable because of taking care of my children every day, and I was often in a low-pressure and irritable mood. When I realize that I am too tired, I hope that my husband will understand me and take the initiative to take care of the children when I am tired and annoyed. I confessed my thoughts and told him that I was very tired and wanted to rest, otherwise I would never be able to control my bad mood. After my husband found out and knew that I was tired, he decisively took the child back to my hometown. I felt relaxed instantly and felt that the pressure was relieved. Later, I dug deeper into the cause of my anxiety, and it turned out that it was caused by two factors: taking care of the children, and staying up late. Many mothers are anxious because, on the one hand, they are too busy and tired, and on the other hand, their partners are absent. Therefore, I quickly adjusted my work and rest time, going to bed early and getting up early. At this time, my mentality was quickly restored and healed. No more blaming and complaining, let alone picking on my husband and children. Instead, change yourself so that you can appreciate your husband\’s positivity, his positivity and responsibility, and his love for his family and children. When my husband took part in raising the baby and I changed my mind, my anxiety was cured. I found that my husband was very good and my children were very sensible. Behind the anxious mother,Everyone has an absent father. Only when the father is absent can the mother be emotionally stable and the child grow up healthily. Anxious mothers cannot raise confident children. As children grow, they need a mother who is emotionally stable and can release positive energy at home and in front of her children. Rather than a mother who is always out of control and often anxious. Anxious mothers, because their inner negative emotions cannot be released, will become extra picky and always dislike everything. They will also strictly control their children and make them listen to them. Children will become sensitive, timid, timid, depressed, unconfident, irritable, and even rebellious under their parents\’ criticism. The mother’s comments above reminded me of a juvenile crime case in which a child was accusing his mother. He said that his mother used to quarrel with him every day when he was a child, and would say that he was doing this or that, and would sometimes say that he was as stupid as his father. One moment they say he is unmanly, the next moment they say he is cowardly, the next moment they say he is useless, the next moment they say he is no more brave than a woman. When I first started talking about it, I thought about how my mother was good to me, so I thought about changing myself. When I made up my mind to change myself. His mother also ridiculed and restricted him, and would not allow him to do this or that, leaving him no space or freedom to grow. Parents\’ unconscious accusations and faults will not only fail to make their children better, but will also cause them to completely lose their determination to move forward. Finally, it just started to completely suck. I’m so useless, I’m trash, I’m such a fool. After reading the case, we can imagine that the reason behind the crime is the lack of maternal love and the lack of correct guidance during the child\’s childhood. Children who have been picked on by their parents for a long time and are bad at everything may seem like their parents are being kind to their children, but little do they know that they are setting up trouble for their children. Because they have been hinted by negative words for a long time, children will feel that they are really bad, and then do something that crosses the legal red line and do something to prove that they can do it. As a mother, when your children grow up, you must learn to adjust your mentality and let go of being picky. Not only can you gain a good relationship between husband and wife, but you can also gain a harmonious and harmonious parent-child relationship. Because when children are growing up, for children under the age of 6, the closest and most trusted people often inflict the deepest psychological trauma on them. If at this time, the mother is always picky about the child, and always uses verbal behavior to hint to the child that \”you are not good\”, \”you are not good enough\”, and \”you are so stupid\”. This kind of suggestion will take root in the child\’s mind and subconscious, causing the child to suffer deeply, and even affect the child\’s life. Absent fathers cannot raise courageous children. When children grow up, father\’s participation will not only make the mother feel happy, but also allow the children to gain courage through the power of father\’s love and example. On the contrary, if the child is growing up and his father is absent, the child will lose the power and guidance of his role model, leaving the child in frustration. Due to the lack of correct guidance from his father, he became timid and cowardly. Therefore, for the growth of children, the role of father is not dispensable, but an indispensable role in the growth of children. Due to the guidance of her father, girls have a correct relationship with the opposite sex and know how to respect themselves and love themselves, instead of despising and neglecting themselves in order to gain the love of a man. Boys will be guided by their father to face thingsWhen you are young, you know how to solve problems with a rational attitude and how to become a real man. It will also help children become more courageous when facing setbacks and hardships. Only when parents love their children together can they grow up healthily. In the process of children growing up, the healthy and mature love of parents is tolerance and acceptance of their children, rather than being picky and dismissive. When both parents participate in discipline, they can communicate more when each other encounters problems, and the family atmosphere will be very harmonious. A good relationship between husband and wife has a vital impact on children\’s physical and mental health, academic performance, and even future career development. The book \”It\’s Better to Understand Children than to Manage Children\” once said: If we compare a child to a tree, then the marital status between parents is the soil. Families with close couples and happy marriages are like fertile soil that can provide sufficient nutrients for the growth of children. On the other hand, if the relationship between husband and wife is not good and the marriage is maintained by compromise for the sake of the children, the family will be like a barren land. Although parents devote themselves to their children, due to insufficient soil nutrients, the \”loving seedlings\” will appear sick and crooked due to lack of water and fertilizer. Write at the end: Loving children is the responsibility of both parents, not one of them. From now on, let your partner get involved and raise the children together. Only with the love of both parents can children grow up healthily in the soil of love.