What should I do if my child likes to lie? 90% of parents ignore these important issues

Doudou was severely punished by her mother two days ago, and her tears couldn\’t stop flowing. It turned out that it was a unit test that she had done before. Doudou lied to her mother and said that she got an excellent grade. But later when Doudou\’s mother was cleaning up the room, she accidentally discovered that the test paper said \”good\”. The mother was angry not only because her son\’s grades were not satisfactory, but also because she felt that the child, who was only in the second grade, started to lie to others. When children are very young, they sometimes tell irrelevant lies, such as telling their parents that they are hungry when they see their favorite snacks. If it cannot be handled well, it will become more difficult to solve as the child grows older and becomes more capable of \”lying\”. In fact, some research shows that lying is also human nature. So when you encounter a child lying, don\’t get angry quickly. There must be a reason why children lie. You must first understand the root cause of the problem before you can prescribe the right remedy. 1. Children are afraid of being punished if they fail to meet their parents’ expectations. The first and most important thing is that children lie because they are afraid of being punished by their parents or expecting rewards. Just like Doudou was afraid that he would be criticized by his mother if he failed in the exam, so he lied about his grades. Moreover, when he said that he got an excellent grade, he might even get praise. People expect their children to be excellent, but if the requirements are too harsh and the performance is too emphasized, and the children fail to meet their parents\’ expectations, they may start the habit of lying from then on. 2. Parents’ actions affect their children’s image. The parents’ own image will also have a profound impact on their children. Honesty should be a two-way street: if you fail to do what you promised to your children, or you lie to your family in normal times, the children will feel that their parents have not kept their promises, and they will be disappointed. Then I thought that if this was the case, then it wouldn\’t be a big deal if I lied to adults. 3. When criticizing and teaching, do not pay attention to attitude. The attitude of parents when their children lie determines whether the children will lie again next time. If you downplay it, take it lightly, say a few words and let it go, the child may not realize the nature of his mistake and will most likely make it again; but if you scold him severely, or even yell at him, and call him a \”little liar\” or \”liar\” The name \”Jing\” may arouse children\’s rebellious psychology and refuse to change despite repeated admonitions. Therefore, when it comes to lying to their children, parents need to: 1. Relax appropriately and proceed step by step. Every child will make mistakes as they grow up, and it is normal for their academic performance to fluctuate. For children, you must have a tolerant and understanding heart, allow your children to make mistakes, and do not make the family atmosphere too tense. The important thing is to teach children how to correct their mistakes; at the same time, setting goals should be done step by step so that children no longer worry about being punished for not meeting expectations. On the other hand, if you look for more opportunities to praise and reward appropriately, children will not falsely report their achievements in order to gain recognition from their parents. 2. Lead by example and set an example. Parents are their children\’s most important teachers. Their influence on their children is not only through \”words\”, but also through \”examination\”. Therefore, if you want your children to become what they want, you must first set an example. What children are best at is imitation. A good example will allow children to develop excellent qualities in a subtle way. On the contrary, it is difficult for a parent who goes back on his word to teach an honest and trustworthy child.. 3. Clarify principles and communicate patiently. When a child is found to be lying, you need to take this opportunity to educate him seriously. Encouraging tolerance education does not mean that we do not follow principles. Especially for children who have left early childhood and entered elementary school, integrity is a matter of principle, so there is no room for compromise. The importance of honesty must be made clear to the children. In this process, you need the greatest patience to listen to the child\’s thoughts and understand his thoughts, rather than just unilaterally preaching. The most taboo thing is to be unable to speak clearly for a while, and then irritably tell the child in a condescending tone, \”Because I am your father/mother, so you must listen to me.\” It seems to have quick results and establish parental authority, but in fact This simple and crude method planted the seeds of rebellion in children. It is indeed wrong for a child to lie, but the reasons are often not limited to him alone. Growth is not only the transformation of a child from cocoon to butterfly, it is also a long practice for parents. Along the way, there is no need to rush or panic. Only by constantly reflecting and improving step by step can we gain a better version of ourselves together.