What should I do if my child likes to touch his private parts? Just do these four things

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but children will touch their own “private parts” unconsciously, and sometimes even play with them consciously. The most \”terrible\” thing is touching her all the time in public. It\’s easy for a mother to feel embarrassed and angry. What would you do at this time? Is it to blame, beat or scold? Or is there another trick? Last week, the company organized an autumn outing, and many colleagues brought their children. Everyone sat around on the grass and played games. A colleague\’s 3 and a half year old son frequently put his hand into his pants to grab his \”little penis\”. There were several unmarried girls present, all looking sideways and showing disgust. The mother realized that others were paying attention, so she pulled her child\’s hand several times and reminded her several times. Seeing that the child didn\’t stop and was still laughing, she got a little angry and started directly, slapped the child\’s hand hard, and asked sternly: \”What are you doing with your hands! Do you know that you are trying to be a hooligan? Are you? Looking for a beating!\” The child was frightened by his mother\’s appearance and cried with a cry. Seeing this, I have a lot to say to her. Calm down! The child is not \”dirty\” at all. The child likes to touch the penis, but he still touches it even though he is told not to touch it. Many mothers are very angry about this. Japanese doctor Yajima, the author of \”The Big Problem with Small Sparrows,\” explained that \”it is difficult for mothers without penises to understand the feeling of peace of mind when touching a penis.\” Obviously no one cares about touching ears or noses, but touching a penis is not okay? Adults will consciously associate this behavior with \”sex\”, which is really too much. When the hand hangs down naturally, it happens to be at the position of the penis, and it just protrudes. Unconsciously, I want to touch it, and it is so soft and easy to touch. Therefore, even if a child says \”it feels comfortable to touch\”, it does not have any \”sexual\” meaning at all. After all, it’s not someone else’s that you’re touching, right? Not just boys, some girls also often touch their private parts and rub against the corner of the table. The logic is the same, no big deal. Therefore, under normal circumstances, there is no need to interfere. As children grow up, they will gradually become more concerned about the eyes of their friends, and naturally they will no longer touch them. Most of this \”self-touching behavior\” will disappear on its own at the age of 6-7, and will not have much impact on his or her physical and mental health. Although it is normal to touch the penis under normal circumstances, you should also pay attention to rule out illness. If the child suddenly touches the penis or rubs his private parts frequently, the mother must first rule out the cause of illness. For example, check to see if he or she has redness, swelling or bleeding in the lower body, and first rule out eczema or local infection, which require medical attention. Dr. Yajima mentioned a case in which a parent took his child for a checkup. He said that he often touched his penis when peeing, and then the checkup revealed that he had cystitis. That\’s why the child pinches his penis because it hurts after peeing. Please remember, there are three things you must not do. No matter what occasion or time you encounter this matter, no matter how uneasy our hearts are, you must not do these three things! 1. Do not repeatedly correct or emphasize that when the child appears in this situation, the mother should not repeatedly tell the child \”don\’t touch\” or \”no touching\”. Such repeated reminders are not only ineffective, but may also strengthen the child\’s behavior. The importance of the matter in his subconscious mind stimulated him to involuntarilytry. 2. Don’t stop violently. In general, when you find that repeated emphasis does not work, you will become anxious: \”Isn’t it embarrassing for you to do this?\” \”If you do this again, be careful with your hands\”… This kind of use of threats or even direct beatings To stop it, it is easy for children to develop a fearful mentality, fear of sexual organs, and dare not explore, which will affect their normal sexual cognition in the future. 3. Don’t laugh at or tease adults. When adults see a child touching his penis, use this to mock or tease him: “Look, she’s touching her own penis! Are you ashamed?” If it’s too much, they will take the opportunity to touch it. A handful. When I was in my hometown, I often witnessed this kind of scene. Research shows that children who have been teased and teased for a long time are prone to lack of security and become easily withdrawn and defensive, which may even affect their sexual life in adulthood. You should do these four things well. Of course, although most children\’s \”self-touching\” behavior will gradually subside as they grow older, if the child\’s behavior becomes more and more frequent and is always in public places, we should also We cannot just let things go and let things take their course. With a normal mind and calmness, we try to do these things to help children get through this special stage of growth faster. 1. Try not to wear crotchless pants for him or her. Crotchless pants \”make it easier for children to play with their genitals more frequently. This is a habit developed entirely because of convenience.\” 2. Parents must stay away from their children when they are intimate. Many children accidentally encounter the intimate behavior of their parents, which leads to curiosity and imitation. 3. Gently divert his/her attention. When you find that your child starts to play with his genitals, you can casually say to him: \”Mom found a very interesting toy, would you like to lend it to me to play with for a while?\” Or, \”Now you can watch cartoons for a while, do you want me to accompany you?\” Do you want to watch it together?”… Whether we use toys, picture books, or snacks, we must pay attention to our attitude when diverting children’s attention. Don\’t be surprised, don\’t be frightened or worried. Children are the most sensitive little creatures. They will catch that you are concerned and afraid of their behavior, which may cause them to rebel and become more persistent in this behavior. , otherwise, you will feel inferior to yourself. 4. Start proper sex education. Since children have begun to have curiosity and knowledge about sexual organs, seize this golden period. Before the age of 3, take advantage of the opportunity of taking a bath together to tell your child the \”secrets\” of the body openly and eliminate curiosity! By extension, when mother and son or father and daughter take a bath, they can tell them the differences in each other\’s bodies so that the children can maintain a better sense of normalcy. After the age of 3, you can clearly tell your children that because you cannot let anyone see your body, you must protect your privacy in public places. I have always believed that when a child becomes curious about the body, all we can do is to help him or her understand himself and his body correctly, and this help should occur with respect and in a calm, peaceful and loving environment. middle. Respecting her, reading her, and understanding her at critical moments is the best love for your child!