When a child is acting up and crying, it is not about shouting and prohibiting, nor is it blindly compromising, but it is about accepting the child\’s feelings, understanding him, and seeing him. Yesterday I was chatting with a friend. She said that when she mentioned her child, she got a headache. Whenever she cried, she would lie on the floor and roll around. She didn’t know why. I think many parents have encountered the situation of my friends’ children. In fact, my children are no exception. They cry when they are not allowed to eat. They cry when they go to the supermarket without buying anything. They cry when they are not allowed to play with dangerous items that cannot be played with. In short, as long as you don\’t get what you want, throw yourself around and cry, it\’s a protective shield. Faced with the situation of the child, at first, he stopped and yelled, but after raising his second child, he realized that yelling only had a temporary effect on the child. It does not really allow children to change bad habits and behaviors. For example, when my second baby was 8 months old and I was going to wean him from breast milk, I bought milk powder to let him adapt in advance, hoping that it would be easy to wean him off. Unexpectedly, Erbao is so stubborn that he won\’t drink. He refuses to listen even if he tries to persuade him in the middle and deliberately starves him, but he still refuses to drink. I had no choice but to force it down my throat, but the child still vomited it out and refused to drink it. Later, I stopped using the simple and crude method and started feeding with a bowl and a spoon. At the beginning, I still didn’t drink, so I added bread or steamed buns to the milk. As a result, I drank when I used the Huairou strategy. In fact, when a child rolls around and cries, shouting to stop it is just like me forcing the child to drink milk. It is a simple and crude way. Simple and crude methods will only make the child cry harder and resist. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! However, as the child grows older, he no longer only cries, but also uses actions and behaviors to fight us and make us compromise. Just like last month, Erbao wanted to use a pencil, and I happened to be cooking. I was afraid of pricking him, so I stopped him. It was okay if I didn\’t stop him, but I started crying when I stopped him. He was still lying on the ground crying because he couldn\’t get up, so I deliberately said that if he couldn\’t get up, his mother would spank him, and the child still wouldn\’t get up. So I changed my approach to a gentle way and said to him gently, \”You really want to play with pencils, don\’t you?\” As soon as he heard it, he answered, \”Well, I want to paint.\” I said I wouldn’t let you play. I was very sad and wanted to cry, right? Then you cry for a while, and mommy stays with you. When you’ve cried enough, mommy hugs you. The child cried for a while, and I asked him if he was done crying, and was he still sad? If you are sad, cry for a while, and the child will cry for a while. I continued to ask him if he had cried enough and was he still sad? He said, no, I said, if you are not sad, mommy will give you a hug. After the child got up, I hugged him, kissed his little face, and analyzed to him why he was not allowed to play with this pencil. He also told him that the tip of the pencil is easy to get injured. When using a pencil, his mother or father must accompany him to use it. If he is injured, it will hurt. When a child is acting up and crying, you must be clear about the motivation behind the child, why he is crying, and what is the purpose of crying? Do you really want to eat it, or do you hope that your parents can understand how they want it at that time, and then see and accept it? When we clearly realize that behind the child\’s crying, he hopes that his parents will understand his feelings and accept him unconditionally. Then we will no longer simply stop and scold, but understand and accept. Parents\’ acceptanceAcceptance, understanding, and companionship are the confidence and sense of security for children. Just like my second child, when he is not satisfied and cries, I cry with him. When his mood is stable, I explain to him why he can\’t play, and tell him that even if he cries, he can\’t, and safety is very important. Disciplining children should be done when the child is emotionally stable. At first I thought the child didn\’t understand. After a few times, I found that the child did. What he thought he didn\’t understand was just what the parents thought. When parents see their children and accept and understand their children\’s feelings, the children will gain these five points of growth through their parents\’ actions. 1. The child first expresses his sadness by crying. 2. When crying, he feels that his parents are with him, understand and see his emotions, and at the same time let the child feel that he is not alone. Through the warm companionship of parents, children feel a sense of security in their hearts. 3. Through physical contact, let the child feel that mother loves me. If mother does not let me play, it does not mean that she does not love me, but that she wants me to be safe. 4. Through appropriate rejection by parents, children can learn boundaries and safety awareness. At the same time, they also understand that they will accept their reasonable requests, refuse if they are unreasonable, and will not compromise just because they cry. 5. When the mood is stable, share with him why he can\’t play, so that the child understands that crying is not a solution to the problem, but requires communication. Written at the end: The best way for parents to love their children is not to have no bottom line or requirements, nor to roar when they are not satisfied, but to learn to understand and accept. Only when parents understand and accept them can children gain inner peace and security, and achieve true growth.