What should I do if my child tries too hard?

\”Ineffective efforts\” and \”fake diligence\” will harm children for a lifetime. Choice outweighs efforts. Parents should understand better than their children. Effort has always been an important way for parents to teach their children to strive for self-change. The early bird catches the worm, and diligence can make up for failure. Especially on the road of children realizing the value of life through academic success, hard work has always been an enduring topic. Recently, a discussion article by China-Singapore Literary Youth was published. Its title directly pointed out a strange phenomenon in today\’s education – children who work harder often have mediocre gains in subsequent performance, and as the academic pressure increases, the effectiveness of their efforts decreases. The conversion ratio is even much lower than the choice value that thinking brings. How to Study Benedict Carey: How to Improve Learning Efficiency Download PDF version Once this article was published, it aroused widespread discussion from all walks of life, and ineffective efforts once became a hot search topic on major platforms. There is a comment at the bottom of the article that is worth pondering for parents: has the hard work we believe in brought us what we expect? If not, why not reflect on it before moving on? Life is very long, and we always make hasty choices. , Ineffective efforts, moved myself, but in exchange it was a depressed self and a soul with low self-esteem. As parents, we long for our children to achieve the perfection of life value through their own efforts, but unhealthy and unhealthy efforts can become addictive and even deformed. Caught in the joy of just wanting to be praised and even dreaming of success, the child\’s deceptive efforts become a means to win sympathy and sympathy. Children have a subtle sense of vanity and are habitually immersed in the vanity of being praised. False efforts become just words to make excuses. It is easy for children to be keen on beautiful slogans but rarely pay attention to the essence of things. Many children have top-notch grades in primary school or even excellent subjects, but find it difficult to break through the learning bottleneck once they enter junior high school, and cannot even adapt to the learning tasks of junior high school. That is because the expansion of advanced subjects in junior high school cannot be easily made up by simply accumulating time. Complete. Once it involves prioritizing learning tasks or more rational thinking arrangements, the focus of efforts will not just stay on the disorderly stacking of time. The essence of effort is driven by human goals, not goals. A good goal itself is a rational plan at this stage, not an urgent purpose. If the child only works hard for short-term results instead of fundamentally improving his subject ability in all aspects, then the child\’s performance will most likely fluctuate greatly. Your initial motivation is too subjective, and impure efforts will be misleading to a large extent. When children form opportunistic ideas, they actually deviate far from the original intention of trying to change the value of life. Speaking of this, as a parent, you will find that it is still hard work, but when it comes to real life, each child will have a big deviation. Are they \”ineffective efforts\”? Have your children fallen victim to these three points? First, focus on formal efforts and ignore efforts on understanding. A large number of copies of the teacher\’s PPTs and even the original sentences in the textbook make the children excessively lack the ability to understand and even cannot independently understand the meaning of hard work. This kind of primary repetitive and inefficient effort is extremely easy to appear in English and Chinese subjects that are more liberal arts. Without understanding to reduce the memory burden, it is very likely to squeeze the learning of other subjects.time, causing a chain reaction. Efforts that are excessive but not intentional are one of the types of false efforts that are difficult for parents to detect. They are more common in the first year of junior high school. Learning without flexibility will only make children less and less suitable for high school and college entrance examinations. The trend of reform also restricts children\’s innovative and expanded thinking. Second, the time management ability is not high or is completely lost. There is a vague definition of whether the goal of hard work has been completed. There is also a lack of self-summary of the goal and expected adjustment of the next goal. Effort shows strong blindness and disorder. Many children\’s efforts are typical of demolishing one thing to make up for the other. The children seem to invest manpower and time, but ignore the issue of prioritization. This kind of effort is purely short-sighted due to unclear direction and bad habits, coupled with unsystematic and scattered subject knowledge. In fact, it is difficult to quantify the equivalent benefit of the effort in terms of performance. Third, children do not understand hard enough. They only work hard for the sake of hard work and set goals as external manifestations of hard work. The way to achieve this is to show off many times during the hard work. Overemphasis on the level of effort and ignoring any essential key factors other than effort. The actual gap will lead to the conceited mentality of \”did I not work hard enough\” or \”I am not the material for learning\”. Efforts that neglect quality will only intensify the child\’s guilt about relaxing, thereby accelerating the cycle of \”ineffective effort.\” God rewards hard work, and hard work is the basic requirement for children from ordinary families to realize the value of life. Due to parents\’ self-awareness barriers, the benefit efficiency of their children\’s efforts is delayed. This is really a pity or even a pity for children who rely on reading to change their destiny. Plato once said: What is more precious than diligence is cognition beyond diligence, because people can never win wealth beyond cognition. Dear parents, if your children have the shadow of \”ineffective efforts\”, please read on. The following methods can help your children get out of the vicious cycle of false diligence. First, only if the direction is correct, the goal of hard work is clear, and choice is greater than hard work. Only by clarifying your child\’s strengths and weaknesses in learning and making an implementation plan can you maximize the benefits of your efforts. Remember, hard work is a means of improvement. Although persistence is important, the plan is the direction that should be determined before the hard work begins. Only in this way can we avoid disorderly and blind repetition. Low-quality efforts that \”take quantity but not heart\” will only make children fall into the psychological comfort of being moved by themselves. It will also further damage the children\’s learning mentality and increase the tension and pressure of children\’s learning. Second, there are many uncertain variables in the process of hard work. Adjusting priorities accordingly will make short-term efforts more effective. It is difficult for us parents to detect children’s false efforts. To a large extent, they do not understand or even keep up with their children’s learning progress. Without objective evaluation of their children’s efforts, it is difficult to evaluate the quality of their children’s efforts. Therefore, the process of hard work is not about blindly working to the end, nor is it about persisting desperately, but whether you spend enough time on the things that require the most effort. Parents should understand that effort is an investment method to make up for or improve, which means there is no fixed relationship between effort and benefit. Third, efforts must be divided into stages, as long as the concept of stages is involved, \”preview\” and \”review\” are essential. \”Preview\” refers to \”planned goals\”, and \”review\” refers to \”phased review\”. The most important thing to review and summarize is: prerequisites + results and benefits. For example, the child\’s English has improved and he scored 80 points in the first test. When reviewing, you must understand that you must work hard to cultivate the conditions or prerequisites to improve the benefits, and continue to persist. On the contrary, it is the unfavorable conditions that are out of touch with reality, leading to a reduction in benefits. These are the clear understandings that \”review\” brings to children. Written at the end: Not every effort will be rewarded, but every time you receive a reward, you must work hard. Dear parents, seeing your children sitting at the desk and working hard all day does not necessarily mean they will get good grades. On the contrary, high-quality and balanced efforts can not only allow children to balance work and rest, but also provide children with a better learning experience. If children from ordinary families want to achieve the class leap of \”a noble child born from a poor family\”, they must maximize the improvement in their children\’s initiative that their hard work can bring.