What should I do if my children are too playful and don’t take the initiative to learn during summer vacation?

Children\’s dislike of learning does not happen overnight, and emotional changes are traceable in life. Only by truly understanding the evolution of children\’s aversion to learning, identifying problems, and providing positive guidance can we give our children the best help. A parent asked for help in the group: his 16-year-old child was extremely tired of studying. After many setbacks, he finally couldn\’t resist and applied for suspension of schooling. Now is the summer vacation, and parents hope that their children will change their minds and return to school after school starts. But unfortunately, children have never taken the initiative to talk about learning, and parents don\’t know what to do. It’s when you are young and studying. If you don’t catch up with your classmates during the summer vacation, will your child’s condition improve after school starts? In the hearts of parents, in addition to sadness, there is also pain: How to save children who are tired of studying? 01 Why don’t children take the initiative to learn? There is a Zhihu netizen who dropped out of school at the age of 14. He recalled his experience of dropping out of school and cried every word. Through her words, you will find: Invisible to parents, children who are tired of studying have endured so much unknown pain! \”I remember that my mother spent a whole day beating and scolding me. If it hurt, she would hit me with her bare hands. She would hit me in any way to make it more painful. The purpose was to beat me back to school.\” This netizen recalled that he dropped out of school many years ago. That day is still vivid in my mind, but no matter how hard my mother \”whipped\” her, she couldn\’t get her back to school. Shedding tears was the only thing she could do. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Why don\’t you want to go to school? It turned out that she gradually lost interest in learning due to her discomfort with transferring to another school numerous times during her studies, and her unhappiness with her classmates due to her personality. Why do children lose interest in learning? According to my many years of experience in the industry, there are several reasons: 1. Children have a negative perception of learning. It may be inevitable for children to encounter difficulties in the learning process. When children encounter difficulties When you are unable to express your emotions and ask for help due to various reasons, you will not be able to receive timely support and guidance. This bad experience will be buried in the heart, and it will form a negative feeling. The negative feeling will form a one-sided cognition, thinking that learning is bad and difficult. Bad perceptions will influence children to pay more attention to verifying their own beliefs. When they see such cases around them, they will agree with them, further solidifying their own feelings, forming a negative cycle. 2. Children are under too much pressure in their interpersonal relationships, have problems with their interactions, and are unable to cope with their own internal conflicts or external conflicts. 3. Parents restrict their children’s cognition and experience. Adults pass on to children that only studying and taking exams in school is called learning. Various survival skills in life, interpersonal relationships, and basic abilities in life such as experience and feeling, understanding, expression, etc. are not involved. As long as the child studies well, he does not need to do anything, and even his self-care ability will be neglected. He can reach out for clothes and open his mouth for food. The result of this life without experience process is that parents feel that their children will become less and less grateful, have poor self-care ability, and feel uneasy in various ways. 4. Homework accompaniment has become a supervisor. The purpose of accompaniment is to discover the child’s bright spots and stimulate his motivation, rather than to teach the child.The child does the questions. The more difficult it is for the child to solve the problem question, and the parent will not know how to do it, so he or she will become frustrated and anxious, and in the end they will simply not accompany him. This makes children feel that learning is a chore, which can lead to impatience. 5. There is no role model or atmosphere in the family that loves learning. Are parents willing to learn, rather than finding it a chore? Children like parents who are educated, well-educated, eager to learn and motivated, democratic in style, civilized in behavior, and harmonious in relationship. In particular, the parents\’ learning interest will affect the children\’s learning interest. 02 Be alert! Four Stages of Children\’s Weariness to Learning Of course, children\’s boredom to learning does not happen overnight. The emotion of learning weariness must accumulate and ferment over a long period of time, and eventually gets out of hand. In fact, changes in children are often traceable in life. Unfortunately, many parents are busy with life and work and never notice it. Wait until the problem actually occurs before you collapse and worry. Generally speaking, children who are tired of learning often go through four stages. Parents may wish to check the seats to see which stage their children are in. The first stage: Boredom Children at this stage often find learning boring. The main reason is that when they cannot keep up with their studies, they do not get recognition from the school or their parents. Over time, children will involuntarily have the idea of ​​not wanting to go to school. The second stage: Negative children’s emotions in the first stage cannot be channeled in time, and their learning attitude will become negative and perfunctory. They will fall asleep in class and procrastinate in homework. The third stage: The mood of anxious children changes from negative to communicative. They no longer pretend that they are tired of studying, do not listen to classes, do not do homework, and even skip school. Online games are more likely to take advantage of this situation. The fourth stage: Children who are tired of learning refuse to go to school, stay home from school during school hours, or even drop out of school. At this stage, parent-child conflicts continue to break out, and the child is emotionally unstable and even depressed. At this time, by reshaping the parent-child relationship and establishing good parent-child communication, there may be hope to help children regain their motivation to learn and return to school. However, if parents cannot accept it and react fiercely and forcefully, it is entirely possible that the parent-child relationship will deteriorate and the child will actually be cut off from returning to school. 03 Parents should do these three things 1. Accept their children’s state and change their mentality. If the child is already very frustrated, we must accept this fact. Only by accepting the mentality first can we calm down, treat the children with heart, pay attention to their physical and mental health, reduce the burden, and increase the children\’s self-confidence. Let children gain a sense of accomplishment from small and easy things and slowly discover their own strengths and interests on their own. This requires a process of exploration. 2. Save the country through curves, such as doing some operational things at home through some housework or handicrafts, or the child\’s special interests, or some favorite sports. In this process, let the children experience the sense of accomplishment brought by the stage-by-stage successes, and these senses of accomplishment will give the children confidence and motivation. When you have the energy of self-confidence and inner motivation, your ability to withstand setbacks will be different when it comes to studying. 3. Cultivate children’s basic abilities such as: reading ability, oral expression ability, thinking ability, feeling and observation ability, and exploring and experiencing life.Ability, cooperation to do some housework, hands-on skills such as manual carpentry, planting plants, raising small animals, etc. These basic abilities will help children to easily construct their own internal learning framework when encountering more difficult subjects in the future, to find the inherent laws of things or subjects, and to be good at summarizing learning methods. Learning will become an enjoyable process. Although there are difficulties, you will be willing to face challenges and find a sense of accomplishment. When faced with children who do not take the initiative to learn, I summarized it into 3 sentences. I hope it will be helpful to you. Emotionally: Let go of your prejudices against your children, don’t blame, don’t complain, and stay calm. In terms of communication: If the child talks about topics he is interested in, there will be more parent-child interaction, and the emotions will be connected. Mentality: Let go of utilitarianism, accept your child\’s emotions unconditionally, and reject them gently but firmly if they are not satisfied. Try it, maybe your children will be influenced by your sincerity and look back.