What should parents do if their adolescent children are rebellious?

How many parents are driven crazy by their children’s adolescence? The saying \”Adolescent children are not easy to mess with\” is no joke. Every parent who has adolescent children at home is sulking! A friend\’s baby is 14 years old, which happens to be the \”least easy to mess with\” age. He has transformed from a good baby into a little tiger that bites people everywhere, which makes his friend miserable. I get impatient after saying a few words. At best, I pretend not to hear, or at worst, I slam the door and enter the house and don\’t come out for a day. In the past, \”Mom\” was always long and \”Mom\” was short every day, which annoyed my friends. Now, I can\’t even shout \”Mom\” a few times a month. \”Mom\” makes friends panic; criticize you and get rid of ten of them, which makes friends feel angry; some time ago, my friends always felt that their children smelled like cigarettes, and the children refused to admit smoking until they washed their school uniforms. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and when he questioned the child, the child still looked impatient. What\’s even more outrageous is that just after the Chinese New Year, the child used the New Year\’s money to buy a combination lock and changed the lock on his room. No one could get in, which made his friends angry and funny. A friend complained, \”Fortunately, my child\’s grades are in the top three in the class and are quite stable. If I fall in love too early and my grades drop, I will be completely broken!\” Adolescence is a period of abuse for parents. This sentence is really true! A child in adolescence is like a suddenly different person. He was once an obedient and sensible child, but overnight he is covered with thorns, biting anyone he sees. What happened to them? Why do adolescent children \”explode\” at the drop of a hat? Adolescent children are rapidly approaching adults physically, but they have not yet reached the maturity and rationality of adults mentally, so children at this stage are only in a state of \”eighty mature\”. Their bodies began to grow, and they grew taller. Boys sprouted stubble, and girls began menstruation. The huge changes in their bodies made them think that they had grown up and were adults, trying to get rid of their parents\’ control. Excessive hormone secretion makes adolescent children impulsive, irritable, and difficult to control their emotions. The rapid decrease in serotonin and dopamine secretion makes children often feel bored and confused, and always feel unhappy. So they hope to get excited through external stimulation. Smoking, drinking, fighting, and playing games have become their new excitement points. The surge in self-awareness makes children pay more attention to their own feelings, so they become sensitive and selfish, paying little attention to the feelings of others. They will get angry whenever they feel unhappy, and they will fall out if they are unhappy. However, the childishness of his inner thoughts and lack of experience in life are always announcing to everyone that \”in fact, he is just a child.\” Adolescent children are torn between maturity and childishness. They are an extreme contradiction. At this stage, if parents talk too much and control the child too strictly, the child will become very manic, often talk back, resist easily, and may even use extreme methods such as running away from home to threaten their parents. If parents let things go, the children will completely let themselves go and go to the dark side on the road to \”freedom\” and completely slide to the bottom. Therefore, for parents at this stage, how to deal with the relationship with their children is very important. Writer Mai Jia once said: \”Adolescence is a kind of danger. It can go to heaven or to earth, it can be a knife or a flower.. As elders, we have only one choice, which is to help our children become flowers, smooth out the sharp spots, and help them get through the most unstable and time bomb stage. \”Adolescent children are like springs. The more you control them, the stronger their resistance will be. Therefore, how to get along with adolescent children is a test for every parent. Don\’t pay too much attention to adolescent children. Parents are particularly nervous for fear that their children will take the wrong step. .So adolescence is often the stage when parents have the strictest management. Looking through children’s mobile phone diaries, nagging about various precautions, gesticulating in study and life, and going online at every turn, what is the result? In exchange, the children become doubly rebellious. Wang Zhanjun, director of the Chinese Education Society, pointed out: “Adolescent children want autonomy and dignity. If their parents do not give them this opportunity, stage, and space, they will behave even more excessively and even build their own moat to isolate their parents. \”When it comes to adolescent children, parents must not pay too much attention. As children get older, they need space to think and begin to have their own privacy. They are no longer willing to share details with their parents. This is a sign of their growth. Parents should Learn to respect. There is a saying that goes, \”How you treat your friends and colleagues, please treat your adolescent children.\” For children in this period, parents must learn to exercise restraint and calmness. We must learn to grasp the general direction and many small details. Just let the children take control of trivial matters and decisions. Stop talking nonsense. For adolescent children, the more their parents nag, the more disgusted the children will be. They think that they are already adults and even know more principles and knowledge than their parents. If their parents always stay in the same place, Children have \”contempt\” for their parents from the bottom of their hearts, so they will not listen to what you say and will just turn a deaf ear. American psychologist John Rosemond believes that raising children, like farming, is also divided into seasons. The parenting content contained in each season should be different. After the child is 13 years old, parents should change from a controller to a guide and return the initiative of growth to the child. At this stage, every conversation with the child, parents Be thoughtful! Use the most concise words to go straight to the topic, rather than annoying people with long words; grasp the dominance of words and let the children listen, rather than letting the children slam the door to make themselves passive; control your own emotions. Emotions, don’t be the terminator of the conversation; don’t dwell on old scores, don’t push everything up, it’s enough to talk about one point at a time; grasp the scale and propriety, stop talking, and don’t talk too much. A lot of nagging. Instead of managing children, it is better to be a good adolescent child and worship the strong. Instead of forcing children to obey themselves, parents should strengthen self-construction and infect children with their own charm and role models. Adolescent children are tall You know more than you, so why do you think he will listen to you? Therefore, instead of controlling your children, it is better to manage yourself. In \”Youth Talk\”, Li Langyi, a fourth-grade student, complained that his mother worked too hard in studying. Li Langyi\’s My mother is a working woman. Although she is very busy at work, she still studies hard for the postgraduate entrance examination in her spare time and studies hard every day. Faced with her son’s complaints, her mother insists.He said firmly: \”We are a team, no one can fall behind, so I will study like you, and my mother will never fall behind.\” A parent who lies on the sofa playing games every day, and a parent who works hard to improve himself, be self-disciplined and improve Of the parents, whose words do their children prefer to listen to? The book \”Decoding Puberty\” says: \”During adolescence, the mutations of the body and mind are like a violent storm. Every child who seems rebellious and unapproachable needs strong support from his parents.\” Why is adolescence so important for those who have children? Some parents are in a period of abuse, but for other parents, they get through it smoothly as usual? The key to the problem is not the children, but the parents. Duel? Don’t compete with adolescent children. Download high-definition scanned PDF version. Can you understand children and understand their growth needs? Do you have a more effective way to deal with your child\’s changes? Can you quickly change your identity to adapt to your child\’s growth? In order to avoid being abused by their children, parents must keep up with their children\’s growth, work hard to change themselves, and become a parent who understands their children. Only then can they successfully get through this passionate and manic stage with their children!