What should parents do if their child is a scumbag?

Every profession will leave traces on a person\’s personality and behavioral habits. I feel the same way. In my career, I found that everyone is very concerned about a topic, and that is: There are only a few academic champions. What should parents do when faced with children who are poor academics? In fact, I don\’t really like the term \”student scumbag\”. There is a sequence of learning. In this life, it is never too late to learn. Having poor grades in school does not mean that the person is a scumbag. Compared with poor grades, using the word \”scumbag\” to kill a person\’s thirst for knowledge early is the most terrifying thing. Therefore, the children I have taught often complain to me that I prefer children with poor grades. This, I must admit. There are many reasons for a child\’s poor performance, including family education, IQ, study habits… But as long as they are students, there are really very few students who don\’t take their grades seriously. However, there are always people who will be in the middle and lower reaches, and there are always people who are destined not to continue their studies. Image source: Movie \”Stars on Earth\” Under exam-oriented education, grades have a huge impact on children\’s self-confidence. Therefore, at least in my class, for children who fail, I will use lunch break or evening after school time to give them extra lessons, or ask the teacher to help them. A teacher once said to me: \”No matter how much supplementation is given to a child like this, it will have little effect.\” I disagree. How parents should educate their children – Children\’s Education, a complete set of 10 volumes mobi + epub + azw3 I do know that no matter how I supplement, the possibility of them becoming academic masters is very slim. However, making them feel valued and moving towards the goal of passing is the meaning. I once taught a child who could get excellent grades in Chinese, but he knew nothing about mathematics and almost always turned in blank papers. At that time, I set a small goal for him every semester, to understand one type of questions in one semester. And let him choose. With such a small goal, he worked very hard and specialized in one type of questions every semester. If he didn\’t know how to do it, he would ask the math teacher for various variations of the same type of questions. Throughout the entire junior high school lunch break, he never took a break. He was either asking the math teacher questions or doing the same type of math questions. Even the math teacher who once didn\’t understand him was moved by him in the end. In the high school entrance examination, he scored 79 points in mathematics. In the eyes of others, this is simply too low to be worth mentioning. However, as soon as the results came out, the child rushed to school, hugged me and jumped and screamed. Then he rushed to the math group and bowed deeply to the math teacher. Later he entered a vocational school and now works as an auto repairman. He is sunny and handsome. Every three months, he would wait for me at the school gate. When he saw me, he would take my car keys without saying a word and drive my car to see if there was any problem. One time, he called me and told me very excitedly that he had done something extraordinary today, helping a customer repair a car that had been repaired without any problems. I was also happy for him and encouraged him to work hard and become a champion. As a result, he told me: \”Teacher, I work very hard. Apart from sleeping every day, I am either repairing the car or thinking about the car. This hard work is actually gained from mathematics in junior high school. As long as I do one thing seriously , put your heart in one place, and you will definitely succeed.\” To be honest, this kind of educational feedback is the highest level of affirmation and encouragement for a teacher. Image source: The movie \”American Pie\” At that moment, I burst into tears and felt that I was the happiest person in the world. I once taught a girl, Xiaoye. By everyone\’s standards, she was an absolute scumbag, struggling to pass the grade in every subject. Her parents hired two tutors for each subject, but her grades did not improve at all, and the parent-child relationship was also in a mess. Her mother would talk to me on the phone every week for an hour, all of which was spent complaining about how hard her parents worked for her, and how hard-working and ignorant she was, saying that she and her husband were almost in a state of depression. However, I slowly discovered that this child was very popular in the class. Whether it\’s intercourse or recess, boys and girls especially like to get closer to her. Humor, loyalty, and generosity are the greatest characteristics of this child. I remember that the foreign language teacher in our class had a mantra that he would remind the children from time to time in class to \”stop mumbling.\” Once, the English teacher talked about the difference between stop doing and stop to do. The teacher said: \”For example, what does stop talking mean?\” As a result, Xiaoye, who was almost at the bottom in English, was the first to stand up and blurted out: \”Stop mumbling.\” The whole class burst into laughter, and the children praised Xiaoye one after another. Waving to everyone: \”Low-key, low-key.\” She is the pistachio of the class. She is not jealous of those who have better grades than her own, and she also has various original sayings for those children who are frustrated because they failed in exams: \”I will give you my report card to find your confidence\” and \”With my sister here, it is not your turn to be at the bottom.\” …\” She is the child who is responsible for all the laughter in the class, and is also the most popular child in the class. However, his parents said to me more than once: \”Can humor be used as food?\” In fact, humor can be. Isn\’t this the ability of a child to be optimistic? So, at that time, whenever I was very tired during the final review, I would ask Xiaoye to tell everyone a joke. She created so much happiness for our class, and she was a healing child. After Xiaoye graduated from junior high school, he went to a vocational high school, dropped out of school, and later taught himself to be an organizer. He made jokes online while promoting his small studio, and his business was very good. The important thing is that she has always been so happy and brought a lot of happiness to others. To me, that\’s success. So, you want to ask me what is the most important ability in education? My answer is: see. See the strengths and weaknesses of each child and make them feel loved and understood. Love and understanding are the starting point and foundation of education, and are the obligations of compulsory education. In fact, this is also the reason why previous students said that I prefer children with poor grades. You know, for a child who studies well, his situation in school is relatively smooth. Achievements are seen, behaviors are praised, and sometimes even one good thing can cover up all the bad ones. However, children with poor grades are different. When they return home, they are nagging and disappointed by their parents. At school, the frustration of competing with others is a fact they face every day. A cruel reality is that the admission rate of the high school entrance examination is about 50%, which means that almost half of the children in a class will fail the high school entrance examination.Are their lives not worth living? Are children with poor grades useless? I understand parents\’ anxiety, but I also understand how difficult it is for children in such a big environment. Therefore, I do my best to help them from failing to passing, from skipping in class to being able to concentrate, from hating learning to loving campus life. This is something I have been doing and think is very meaningful. More than one student once asked me: \”Teacher, what\’s the point of tutoring me every day? No matter how hard I try, I can\’t get into high school.\” My answer was: \”Today you figured out a subject in school that you thought was impossible. If you understand the questions and get a score that you think is impossible, you will not be so afraid of facing impossible difficulties in your future life.\” Yes, I am not asking them to counterattack and become The dark horse of the high school entrance examination. I just want them to gain concentration and a sense of accomplishment in making breakthroughs in a small area. During the three years of junior high school, they do not need to continue their studies, but their self-confidence should be developed. In the future, when they enter society, they can inherit the sweetness of hard work they learned in school and become people who work hard all their lives. This is the meaning of school. Because I understand, I feel sad. To be honest, I know very well how much pressure a \”scumbag\” has to bear in his growth that is difficult for ordinary people to understand. Because of their poor grades, they have to accept their parents\’ opinion that they are not up to par, and are labeled as unfaithful and unfilial. Even domestic violence is common. What boy doesn’t have the desire to live? Who doesn’t want to be at the top of the pyramid? Compared with being at the bottom of their grades, what I couldn’t bear to see the most was that they were still only sixteen or seventeen years old, and they waved the white flag to life, thinking in their hearts that they were worthless and that life was meaningless. Picture source: The movie \”Stars on Earth\” Among the last graduates who just sent away, there was a student who had very bad grades. Her parents had hired tutor after tutor for her, but to no avail. Doesn\’t she work hard? I work very hard. Ever since I was in junior high school, I have never slept before twelve o\’clock at night. On Saturday and Sunday, I was either doing homework or on the way to cram school. The child also wanted to be strong. Sometimes he would bang his head on the table when he couldn\’t figure out a question. Even once, after the results came out, she ate the paper while crying. During each exam, she would definitely ask to go to the bathroom. In fact, it is not a physiological need at all, but a psychological forced reaction caused by tension. Once, after finishing an exam, my child came to the office to see me. She wasn\’t here to ask about my grades, but to complain to me: \”Teacher, so-and-so in the class said bad things about me, called me mentally retarded, and said I looked like a monster.\” So I found the so-and-so she was talking about, and the child felt particularly aggrieved. , saying that he had never spoken to this child since he was in junior high school, so how could he say bad things about her. Later, this child came to me several times, always saying that her classmates were talking about her behind her back and saying bad things about her. The teacher in a certain subject also talked about her with them. Only then did I realize that the child had serious psychological problems and even had symptoms of auditory hallucinations. Unexpectedly, I reported these situations to the parents, hoping that they would take their children to see a psychiatrist. They got mad on the spot, saying on the one hand that I was biased against his childrenOn the other hand, he self-diagnosed himself on the spot: \”I provide her with good food and drink every day, what disease could she have? It\’s just hypocritical, just trying to show off. It\’s better for this kind of child to die.\” Helping parents failed In the end, I had no choice but to turn to myself. After that day, every time the child’s results came out, I would analyze the test paper with her and look for areas where she could improve. At the same time, I entrusted her to the school\’s psychological teacher to provide psychological counseling to her every week. Long-distance running is her forte, and she can surpass other girls in the class by 1,000 meters. Every time she had a physical education class, I would watch, help her record videos, and applaud her for being so far ahead in the end. Once, she asked me: \”Teacher, what\’s the use of running fast?\” I said: \”Of course it is. It means that you have good physical fitness. School may rely on your grades, but in the future, when you enter society, your physical fitness will I defeated most of the people. Life is a marathon. If you run to the end, you will have the last laugh.\” Later, I would ask this child to go out for an hour\’s walk every Saturday morning. Exercise is the best medicine. Her auditory hallucinations did not continue to develop, and she slowly began to re-evaluate herself: Although her grades were not good, she was still able to clearly analyze her strengths and weaknesses in every exam. Long-distance running is her specialty. Although it is too late for her to switch to a sports school for this specialty, isn\’t life interesting if she treats it as a hobby? Later, I accompanied her to participate in a 5-kilometer mini marathon in the same city. She was so excited about running that day that she waited for me at the finish line, who was belatedly arriving, and held my hand as she ran a long way. She told me: \”Teacher, I have figured it out. It doesn\’t matter if I don\’t study well. I will definitely be able to do a job to support myself in the future, and then run marathons all over the world. This is my dream.\” Son, I So proud of you. A person who knows what kind of life she wants to live when she is only 14 years old is a success in itself. Therefore, as a teacher, the more you become a professional, the more timid you become. Timidity comes from fear. Because you know very well that the lives under your nose are actually the prototype of the future society. The process of growth is beautiful, and the ending will be beautiful. The more you understand, the more you see, the more you support, the more you appreciate, the more wonderful and colorful this society will be. Moreover, being ordinary is the fate of most people. Excellent academics are rare, and the majority are children with mediocre grades. Understanding and accepting this is the most important basic knowledge for parents and teachers. And this ordinary majority is the general face of future society. Therefore, when young people are sunny, this society will be sunny. Only when young people make progress can this society have hope. So, love and see that ordinary child well. Even a scumbag has his spring. The premise is that in winter, use hope to encourage progress and take good care of this seedling. Picture source: The movie \”Stars on Earth\” has no accumulation, how can it be thin? Without precipitation, how can there be sublimation? Their lives have just begun. Their lives have endless possibilities.