What should parents do when their children are bullied? A more effective method than teaching \”fight back\” is…

Today when I was browsing Weibo, I saw Cao Cao and Diao Chan posting a video about school violence. The title is: Campus violence has finally reversed. The story in the video goes something like this: A group of seven or eight-year-old girls were practicing dancing in a dance studio, and one of the stronger girls, A, pushed B to the ground without mercy. The teacher did not notice A\’s behavior and thought that B did not practice well, so he scolded her. But this happens to be seen by B\’s father. After school, Person B had this conversation with his father: Person Person B’s father: “Tell me about the girl who pushed you!” Person Person B: “That was Nicole Leder, actually she always pushed me.” Person Person B’s father: “Tell me about the girl who pushed you!” : \”She always pushes you? Why don\’t you resist?!\” B: \”Uh…because you don\’t let me resist.\” B\’s father: \”What? I won\’t let you?\” B: \”You said I should make peace with her Settle it.\” B\’s father: \”I just sometimes… How can I… Fuck it, settle it peacefully, listen, you have to throw her down hard and beat her up!\” So B in When A bullied her again, he threw her to the ground. From then on, A never dared to bully B again. Similar incidents, this story circulating on the Internet is even more exciting! A mother who works in the intensive care unit received an emergency call from the school saying that her daughter had beaten a male classmate in the same class and that the matter was serious. So the mother hurried to school. Principal: \”You are finally here!\” Then he told the mother the whole story. Here\’s what happened: The boy flicked her daughter\’s underwear. Then her daughter punched the boy twice in the face. What was highlighted in their description was that her daughter was too much! The mother suddenly felt that her views had been subverted, and asked: \”So you called me here, do you want to know whether I am suing this male classmate for sexual harassment, and suing the school for mismanagement?\” When this When my mother mentioned sexual harassment, everyone here was terrified. The male teacher said, \”Parent, it\’s not that serious.\” The dean said, \”You\’re overreacting.\” The principal said, \”I think you misunderstood the key points.\” At this time, she asked her daughter carefully and got new information. The boy kept playing with her underwear and the daughter asked him to stop, but he didn\’t, so the daughter told the male teacher. But the male teacher found it interesting and asked her to ignore it. As a result, the boy started playing again, and the buttons and underwear popped open. It wasn\’t until his daughter beat him that he stopped playing. At this time, the mother became very angry and turned to the male teacher: \”Come here and let me touch you!\” The male teacher immediately refused. The mother said: \”It seems that you think it is inappropriate. Then go and play the dean\’s underwear now and see what she does. Or you can play my underwear. Could it be a child? This is interesting.\” Did you?\” After hearing what the mother said, the principal immediately said: \”Madam, the point of the question is that your daughter injured another child.\” The mother said: \”She hit him out of self-defense, because the child attacked him. Sexual harassment, she had asked for help, but the teacher did not help her, she could onlyFight back on your own, what else do you want her to do! \”The mother took her daughter home and reported the matter to the board of directors, who promised to take the matter seriously. She also reported it to the government agency responsible for supervising the school, and they would contact the school to investigate. Her daughter also She was transferred to another class. Suddenly, this mother made a good story, and netizens praised her. In today\’s society, campus violence continues to occur frequently, \”a girl was slapped by multiple classmates\”, \”a group of girls gathered to take turns\” Beating a girl, forcing her to kneel down, burying her with her feet, and slapping her face\”, \”A boy suffering from polio was insulted and extorted money\”, news like this, we will be brainwashed every once in a while. Every time The first time I saw such news, I remembered my experience in junior high school. When I was in junior high school, the school conditions were not good. Especially in winter, after self-study in the evening, it was dark and cold, so several classmates from the same village and I I rented a big house in a factory outside the school. I went home once a week. Around the time I was in the second grade of junior high school, the term \”big sister and big brother\” became popular in the school. There were a bunch of female gangsters and a gang of Male gangsters would block some classmates from well-off families and ask for money. If they didn\’t give, they would be beaten. At that time, they were not as cruel as they are now. But I was also afraid of avoiding those people. To this day, I can\’t remember how I did it. After provoking the person I called \”eldest sister\”, I only heard that she was going to my dormitory to settle the score with me. So in the middle of winter, at 7:30 pm, I rode my bicycle home alone. My parents were not even curious. Why did I go back home after living well? I never mentioned it to them. But the fear and helplessness in my heart cannot be described in words. So much so that when someone spoke loudly to me later, I became scared. The next day , I returned to the dormitory, and I saw water sprinkled on the quilt, and there were mud marks from my feet. From that day on, I never returned to the dormitory. Until I graduated from junior high school. So every time I saw campus violence, I would worry My child. But why didn\’t I ask my parents for help at that time? Maybe something similar happened in my subconscious. My parents didn\’t guide me correctly. Instead, they blamed me for being timid and afraid of getting into trouble, or they blamed me for provoking those unscrupulous people in the first place. Bad people will cause them a lot of trouble! From the above stories we can see that when children are subjected to violence at school, the attitude of the parents is very important. Their actions directly affect the children\’s life. The children\’s suffering The aura is brought out from home, and the root of everything is in the parents! Remember, every child and his or her parents are completely equal and independent. Wei Qijie, a psychotherapist and national second-level psychological counselor Said: \”Those who are bullied are often those children who are not independent enough and make people feel weak and useless, as well as single-parent families, as well as chubby little girls who don\’t like to study, or whose appearance or figure is different from others. , little boys are more likely to be bullied. \”So as parents, we must first provide our children with a healthy and good family growth environment, so that they can be independent, confident, and have a healthy body; secondly, we usually pay more attention to some of the children\’s behaviors in school. The earliestAware of abnormalities in children. If a child really suffers from violence at school, parents should encourage and comfort the child in time to help the child overcome the difficulties. Never use language like: \”Why are you so useless? You are too timid,\” to stimulate the child. We need to tell our children that when they encounter difficulties, they must find the teacher and seek help from the teacher. If the teacher doesn\’t help, then make a strong counterattack! If you are really beaten, just fight back if you can\’t help it! It\’s like a person\’s skin being injured and infected and festering. If you don\’t cut out the wound ruthlessly, but just endure the pain, systemic infection will occur, which can be fatal. In this way, even if it leaves an ugly scar, it can at least save his life. Stop thinking you are timid and start being brave. Of course, this bravery should only be directed at those who blatantly bully you. Also, pay attention to the propriety and position of your strike, and don\’t hit a vital place. School violence is very harmful to children. It can cause physical and mental damage, developmental disabilities, aversion to school, decreased academic performance and even death. When necessary, we need to seek legal help.