What should we do if our adolescent children are rebellious?

Has there ever been a moment like this? One day, I was trying to reason with my child, hoping to correct his behavior. But he seemed to have eaten dynamite. Not only did he refuse to obey, he also spoke rudely and contradicted the adults. I believe that at that moment, parents must have found it unbelievable. Why did their child become \”rebellious\” overnight? Was there something wrong with him? This scene was also played in the TV series \”Rivals\”, and countless parents called it \”real\”. Duan Yingjiu, the mother, suspected her son Chen Xing of cheating money. The two did not agree, and a fierce conflict broke out in an instant. The son is angry that his mother only lectures him all day long and does not understand what he is thinking. After hearing her son\’s accusatory counterattack, the mother was not to be outdone, and kept bombarding her, saying everything she said was wrong with her son. The son even said something unscrupulous, \”I don\’t want to recognize you as my mother for a long time.\” The mother was so angry that she picked up a glass of water and poured it over. The whole noisy process fulfilled the saying: There is destined to be a war between every adolescent child and his parents. Whether you admit it or not, many unexpected things will happen to your children once they reach adolescence. No matter how right the truth is and no matter how much effort is put into it, if the child doesn\’t listen, he just won\’t listen, cannot communicate, and there is no room for communication. Could it be that we can only watch the relationship deteriorate? All 15 volumes of the original English version of Diary of a Wimpy Kid can be read online in ultra-clear pdf + mp3 + 4 movies. Maybe after reading the following stories, you will have a new understanding of rebellious adolescent children. Rebellion is a sign that children have entered adolescence. A 13-year-old boy in Nanyang, Henan, is addicted to games and does not take online classes seriously. Worried that his grades would be affected, his parents tried to persuade him, but the communication was fruitless, and he broke his cell phone in anger. This fall directly \”forced\” the boy away. For three whole days, there was no sign of the boy. The parents were so anxious that they quickly called the police. Unexpectedly, as soon as the police entered the house, they heard strange noises in the abandoned storage room on the first floor. When he took a look, he found that the boy was wrapped in a quilt and hiding under the bed. When he was discovered, the boy was still stubborn and refused to come out. Even after being hungry for three days, he remained motionless. It was not until the police continued to persuade him that he was willing to show up and express his inner dissatisfaction: in fact, he just wanted to be recognized. Some people say that a rebellious child comes from feeling that he is not understood by his family. He doesn’t mean to go against his parents, nor does he want to embarrass his parents. Many times, it’s just that he starts to care about whether he can make his own decisions and others can understand and recognize him. It is a kind of self-awakening unique to adolescence. Children who go through this stage are eager to attract the attention and attention of others through some special ways. Even if what he does is not the same as what he really needs. Guo Qilin once revealed his rebellious experience on a show. He was in school at the time, and his father Guo Degang would always intentionally or unintentionally guide him to get involved in the cross talk world in the future. Although he had been interested in learning cross talk since he was a child, he had a rebellious streak in his heart. The more his father wanted him to learn cross talk, the more he said he wanted to be a network administrator and a chef. After successfully passing through adolescence, he gradually found his love for cross talk, and now he has become an indispensable new force in the field. German child psychologist Charlotte BiaoLe said: Puberty is a process in which a child transforms from a child into an adult. At this time, the child\’s psychology is not very mature, and psychological closure and rebellion are common phenomena, also known as the \”passive resistance period.\” Parents should not make a fuss if their children become rebellious. Adventure Time Season 1 to Season 9 with Chinese and English subtitles 720P + Gaiden + Frog Seasons + Beyond the Garden Wall Because most children have to go through it once before they can truly understand themselves, form an independent personality, and complete the life lessons of growth. At this time, all parents can do is respect, wait, and believe in them. The greatest cruelty of education is to persuade him to be obedient and obedient. \”I know that adolescent children can be rebellious, but I just hope that my daughter will listen to me and follow my ideas!\” This is the complaint of a mother around me. Since her daughter entered the second grade of junior high school, she found that her originally well-behaved daughter had changed. She would not tell her anything that was on her mind and would often close the door to her room. If you nag a few more words, your daughter will definitely be more dissatisfied and resisted. For this reason, she asked countless people who had experienced it, wondering if there was any way to bring her daughter back to her original obedient and sensible state. But is it really a good thing to insist on obedient children? Actor Ma Sichun once exposed the causes and consequences of his depression online. For a long time, the elders in the family have always instilled in her the idea that \”you must be obedient and sensible\” and \”cannot be self-conscious\”. As her parents wished, she has become a \”good girl\” in the eyes of many people. She will not make others sad easily or trouble others casually. No matter what happens, she will never be angry, let alone rebellious. He will not disobey his parents\’ requests, be too considerate of others, and will swallow his anger and dare not resist when bullied. She always left the best of herself to others. Unexpectedly, she ended up suffering from depression and had severe physical reactions. After receiving treatment, she learned to \”love herself more and express her temper when she has it.\” ‍Being able to get out of the cage of \”good girl\” is undoubtedly a blessing among misfortunes. But in reality, how many children are criticized, suppressed, ridiculed and denied by their parents if they are even slightly rebellious? The only standard for good that everyone has is \”behaving well\”? This does not mean that you should indulge your child\’s willfulness and ego, but when he has his own thoughts and wishes, blindly telling him \”you must be obedient\” is the greatest destruction of his personality. As education expert Montessori said: \”Letting children obey the will of adults is the biggest and most shameful mistake adults make.\” Too many children have lost a lot of self-realization because they live within the unified standards of their parents. possible. They obviously want to express themselves and live out themselves, but they are restricted everywhere. In the end, they will only become resigned and become \”good guys\” wearing masks. Treating a child\’s rebellion well means treating his life well. A netizen on Zhihu shared his adolescence and admitted that he was especially grateful to his father. Because studying was difficult, he showed severe distaste for studying. Recommended parenting books: Accompanying children\’s lifelong growth Baidu Netdisk PDF download Every time the teacher talks to him, he will only feel very annoyed and especially wants to contradict the teacher; when he comes home, his mother complains that he is ignorant and poor in study, and he gets angry easily , I pretended to be sick several times and stayed at home without going out. Later, my father found outIt was useless to tell him anything, so I took a month off specifically to spend time with him at home. He was unreasonable and did not persuade him to go to school. He played chess with him every day and went out for walks and shopping without mentioning his problems at all. Miraculously, after more than a month, he suddenly came to his senses and realized that he couldn\’t do it without studying, so he took the initiative to go back to school. It was during that experience that his parents became very gentle towards him, and they would ask his opinion first when they had something to do. Finally, he chose his favorite profession and is now an excellent pet doctor. Psychologist Jane Nelson emphasized in \”Positive Discipline\”: \”The best way to win over teenage children is to stand with them first with a kind, firm, and respectful attitude. Let the children be supported by understanding , to gain a sense of self-esteem and belonging.\” Treating a child\’s rebellion well is treating his life well. In the face of children\’s disobedience and recklessness, perhaps we should do this: 1. Less nagging, more love Zhang Zhao in the action documentary \”Mirror\”, every time he complained to his parents about the pressure of study, his parents did not care about him , but kept questioning: Thousands of people can bear it, why can\’t you. Then there is a lot of reasoning and nagging. Unable to bear this, Zhang Zhao simply kicked his parents out of the house, locked himself in the house and skipped school. Later, after his parents clearly realized his problem, they changed their strategy and stopped nagging and reasoning with him. Instead, they tried their best to satisfy him and express their concern for him through practical actions. As a result, he took the initiative to continue studying and changed the behavior that many parents could not understand. Educator Rousseau once said to the point: \”The most useless education method in the world is losing your temper, reasoning and being self-motivated.\” It is difficult for adolescent children to listen to the truth. It\’s better to put a chain on his mouth, cook when it\’s time, accompany him when he should be there, and tell him \”Mom and Dad are here\” with loving actions, which will impress him more. 2. Respect children’s rebellious wishes. Jiaming, another child in the documentary \”Mirror\”. At first, the relationship with my parents was tense and quarrelsome. He wanted to be a backpacker and experience life. But my father insisted that we should study hard now and don\’t do anything wrong. He didn\’t listen and lived a very frustrated and painful life. Under the guidance of a psychology teacher, his father finally let go of his obsession and allowed him to be a backpacker in the local area. The relationship between father and son miraculously returned to normal, and they were talking and laughing with each other. Psychological expert Wu Zhihong said: \”Let adolescent children develop on their own and give them sufficient space to grow independently. Most of their rebellious behaviors will naturally disappear.\” When children have their own unique ideas, they are exploring how to get along with the world. Way. All parents need to do is respect him, accept him, and when it is safe, let him go and allow him to try. When his emotional needs are satisfied, he will naturally get back on track and continue to walk his own path. 3. Be friends with your children and get along as equals. There is a scene in \”Little Joy\” where two tiger mothers, Tong Wenjie and Song Qian, are reflecting on themselves while eating. I found that the children are all close to their fathers. A large part of the reason is that the father can become friends with them, unlike the mother who always demands, controls, and denies them.idea. Friendships have been established with the children. They are willing to talk to their father about anything, and the relationship between them is also harmonious and close. Indeed, when a child grows up, he or she hopes that his parents will treat him as a \”little adult\”, not a three- or four-year-old child. They long for their parents to stand by their side when something goes wrong and discuss what to do instead of being blamed and criticized. Lower your posture, be calm, and treat your children as friends. Only then can you talk to each other and your hearts can come together. If you think about it carefully, it’s not a big deal for a child to be “rebellious”. Family Education Instructor\’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother Chinese version e-book + English version pdf + mobi + azw3 As parents, although we hope that our children will have a smooth journey, no disasters, and grow up happily according to their own expectations. But after all, children have their own path to walk and their own hurdles to overcome. Treat all changes that happen to him gently and kindly, put aside all bad thoughts, replace control with respect, and replace nagging with care. If you carefully accompany your child through the \”rebellious\” period, he will definitely shine in his future life.