What should you do if your child confronts you?

The start of school in March this year was exciting. Children returned to class, saw each other\’s smiling faces again, and finally no longer had to communicate through screens. After surviving the days of constantly having to take online classes at home, adults thought that all the hardships were over. But before he was happy for long, his friend Yang Yang felt that something was wrong with his son. She observed carefully for a few days and was surprised to find that her son had tried out the password of the tablet and stayed up all night, eating snacks and playing games while hiding under the quilt. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Child’s Heart e-book download After his son went to school, Yang Yang opened his quilt and saw a bed of remnants. He completely collapsed. He wished he could rush to school immediately, catch his son and beat him. . Yang Yang just couldn\’t understand why her son had to go against her despite being told repeatedly not to play with electronic devices or eat snacks at night. After Yang Yang confided in me, I asked her: \”Have you ever thought about what you are most worried about?\” She thought for a while and said that although she was angry that her son was going against her, she was even more worried that he would not be able to bear the stress in class the next day and would not be able to bear it. Watching screens in the dark can damage your eyesight, and eating snacks and delaying meals can lead to malnutrition. You see, many times parents are emotionally upset because their children are acting against them, but what they are really worried about is something else. Parents should understand that the best way is to solve whatever they are afraid of, and just focus on solving or alleviating the problems that they are really worried about. In this day and age, never letting your kids touch electronics is obviously not going to work. If you are worried that your child\’s eyesight will get worse, give him a device with a larger screen for online classes, or simply project the course on the wall; if you are worried that your child will become addicted, plan the time with your child in advance and strictly follow the plan every day; if you are worried that your child will become fat, cut off Source of snacks at home, leading children to dance aerobics along with fitness videos… In short, as long as parents are willing, there are always more solutions than difficulties. Parents should understand that sometimes it is a child\’s psychological characteristic to love to go against their parents. Returning to normal study and life, the \”desire\” raised in children\’s hearts will not be extinguished instantly. It is human nature to always want to play more and relax more. Without the excuse to take online classes, parents control the use of computers extremely strictly, which in turn gives birth to rebellious emotions in children – the more you don\’t let me play, the more I want to play! The same goes for eating junk food. Coke is strictly prohibited in my son\’s class, but if someone secretly brings coke one day, all the students are willing to exchange their favorite stationery. In order not to be discovered by the teacher, they will secretly hide in the toilet.\” trade\”. Things that are not allowed to be done will be done, and things that are allowed to be done will not be done. When the weather is cold, parents ask them to put on a pair of long johns, but many children pretend not to hear them. After school, they ask their children to hurry up and do their homework, but the more they urge them, the slower they get. They linger for a long time and cannot finish… When children confront their parents, This is usually the time when parents are most likely to lose control of their emotions. This is not because children are born \”rebellious\”, but because they are the only way to grow up. Children around ten years old may not seem young, but they still decide most things based on their own preferences, so they are often led by their emotions. Children entering adolescence also like to challenge authority, so parents should understand the psychological characteristics of their children\’s growth and development in advance, and do notWhenever there is a problem, it is automatically assumed to be the child\’s fault. Parents also need to understand their children\’s true psychological needs. Once, after my son came home, he took out a few colorful fruit candies from his pocket and ate them while watching TV. Of course I didn’t want him to eat it, so I asked him, it’s not that there is no sugar at home, and I have picked out all the sugar, which is better and healthier. If you want to eat it, why don’t you go home and eat it? My son was very excited at the time. He said he just didn’t want to eat the candies at home, but wanted to eat the orange-flavored candies given by the teacher. I argued with him for a few words, and he went back to the bedroom angrily. Later I found out that those candies were awarded to him by the head teacher. Only then did I realize that compared to healthier and safer candies, what he ate from this orange candy was not only sweet, but also positively appreciated. So, when children confront their parents, can we only understand and agree with it? Of course not, you still need to pay attention to some methods and methods, and the child will change from a \”little monster\” to a \”little sheep\”. 1. Learn to show weakness to your children. In a family, parents represent \”authority\”, and confronting parents is an important way for children to challenge authority, because once the challenge is successful, it means they have gained greater rights and more freedom. Therefore, \”conquering strength with softness\” is a good way. One time when we were talking about studying in the future, I said that I hoped that my son would be able to go to a good university when he grew up, but my son was angry with me and said that he would sell baked sweet potatoes when he grew up. He originally thought that I would jump in anger, but I saw his intention and said with a smile: \”Okay, whether it is taking the college entrance examination or roasting sweet potatoes, as long as you are happy. You can also roast sweet potatoes for an expert!\” My son was completely disappointed. He lost his temper and said that he was better at reading. 2. Help children vent their emotions. After understanding the child\’s psychological characteristics and needs, we need to help the child see his own emotions, get out of them, and give the child time and space to vent. One time when I was tutoring my son for homework, I asked my son to draft with pencil first, but he refused to do so. Realizing that both of us were agitated, I asked him to go back to his room to calm down. So I heard him cry hoarsely in the room with all his strength for several minutes, until his voice became hoarse. I refrained from looking at him, and he gradually calmed down. Later I asked him if he felt better after venting? He nodded yes, feeling his whole body relax. He also took the initiative to comfort me and said, \”Mom, I didn\’t mean what I said just now. I have a lot of homework today and I\’m afraid of wasting time by drafting.\” I also understood him very well. Later, when he confronted me about homework, I He will say unhurriedly: \”Why are you so fierce? Can you be gentler to me?\” This sentence is to remind the child and also to remind himself to control his emotions. Children are so strange. When you are hard, they are harder than you. If you soften first, they will melt slowly. 100% zero yelling parents’ experience on how to educate their children well.mobi3. Believe in your children and give them a sense of security. Maybe many parents know this well. Even if you don\’t urge them, their children know that homework must be completed. If you can\’t help but push it a few times, the child will become passive and slow down. This is because although you have good intentions in urging your children to complete their homework quickly, you also leave a \”no\” feeling to your children.The psychological implication of \”being trusted\”. In fact, no matter how old children are, they all long to be trusted. Trust can enhance children\’s mobility and self-confidence. Children like to confront their parents in order to feel the power of struggle and gain love without fierce struggle. Children who respect and respect their parents will naturally not want to confront their parents everywhere. If you walk on the road, you are not responsible for others. Even plants will grow better if they are praised more, let alone children? Encourage and praise more, I believe Every child is unique and incomparable.