What should you do if your child loses his temper?

Is it difficult to explain this concept to your children when they lose? It\’s very simple. The story Danma shared today did it easily. I am playing checkers with my dad. \”Dad wins!\” Dad stood up, and the little boy pouted angrily. \”Hate! Dad!\” Mom said fairly: \”Dad is not cheating! Po Po, you lose.\” Analysis: Black hair, black eyes, sky-high braids, red skirt, a typical Chinese doll, parents are also familiar to children The image, expressions and movements are well portrayed, successfully creating a warm family atmosphere. There is no procrastinating language and unnecessary foreshadowing, and the story goes straight to the point. I lost the game of chess and became angry! \”I didn\’t lose, I didn\’t lose, you are all such a nuisance!\” She overturned the checkers with the strength she didn\’t know where she came from. Analysis: She is out of control emotionally, and there is a black shadow behind her, highlighting her anger. The mother held the hand of the little boy and said, \”Little boy, you need to stay by yourself for a while and let the little carp accompany you!\” Analysis: There was an undeniable seriousness on the mother\’s face. She took the little hand of the boy and went to the room to reflect. Don\’t forget to give her a small carp. Mother has set a good example for us when it comes to dealing with children’s mistakes: gentle yet firm. And this little carp took Rui Po into a new story. Analysis: The splash of water and the dynamic changes of the small carp allow us to intuitively feel the charm of traditional Chinese ink painting. Watering started to cry loudly, and as he cried, the little carp moved. \”There is water!\” \”There is water!\” The little red carp was swimming in the water, and he said cheerfully: \”Xiao Chuancai, thanks to your tears, how about I take you to jump on the dragon gate?\” \”Jumping through the dragon\’s gate? That\’s great!\” Xiao Shuishui rode on the little carp, and the little carp swam away happily. Analysis: Tears formed a river, and little carp could swim in it. This imagination was exaggerated for children but reasonable. The little carp swam to the edge of the waterfall: \”Sit down-\” \”Let\’s take the slide-\” Analysis: This double-page spread fully demonstrates the charm of Chinese ink landscape painting. It is so shocking at first glance! (It’s just that the picture is too small, so it may not shock everyone, and I’m heartbroken…) Riding a little carp, I was happily sliding from the waterfall to the big pool at the foot of the mountain. When will we jump over the dragon gate? \”Don\’t worry, we will swim out of the big pool and arrive at the Dragon Gate.\” Analysis: Xiangyun, Dragon Gate, Chinese red, glazed tiles, the Chinese elements in the picture are almost overflowing. The picture adopts the angle of looking up to express the height of the gantry, but at the same time, the curvature of the pillars neutralizes the pressure of the height of the gantry, thus softening the picture. Analysis: Still looking up, the towering dragon gate hints at the difficulty of jumping over it. Analysis: Looking at the tall gantry, the little carp raised his hands and shouted: \”Little carp, jump-\” The little carp exerted its strength, and they jumped into the sky together. The little girl is full of expectations and confidence in their success. Analysis: The comic script is used here to express the various dynamics of the little carp and the water falling, so that children can have an immersive feeling. However, I didn\’t expect that the little carp didn\’t jump over, snap, heThey fell into the water. Again! thump! They fell into the river again. Analysis: I admire the picture writer, the carp and the moment of pouring water are very expressive. \”We are still too small, even if we lose this time.\” Little Carp said. \”We can\’t lose.\” Xiao Chuancheng held on to the fish\’s tail. Analysis: \”We can\’t lose.\” Why can\’t we lose? Who gave children the idea of ​​not losing? It\’s us. We always hope that our children will become winners, and under our influence, our children will consciously hold themselves to this standard. \”Xiao Chuancui, it doesn\’t matter. We will come back next year. I will be stronger by then and I will definitely not lose.\” Analysis: The sentence \”We will come back next year!\” makes the essential difference between \”admitting defeat\” and \”giving up\”. After trying hard, admitting defeat, gathering strength, and trying again is a brave and rational decision made by Xiaoyu at this moment. Xiao Shuishui hugged the little carp and left the dragon gate like this. Analysis: In this fantasy world, her initially troubled mood was comforted. Analysis: When she walked out of the room, she was greeted by the warm hugs of her parents and the joy of the whole family. I am no longer angry anymore. \”Mom, dad won yesterday.\” \”It doesn\’t matter, everyone has lost. Come on, let\’s play another game!\” Dad said and started playing checkers with him. Analysis: After everything he went through with Little Carp, he bravely admitted that he lost. Dad didn\’t hold on to the situation, but played chess with Chuisui as if nothing had happened, leaving the opportunity for growth and thinking to Chuisui himself. After the story is told, you may say, ah, such a simple story. But in fact, simple stories also contain complicated truths. The first thing is to let the children think about how to face \”win or lose\”. After experiencing two failures in jumping over the dragon gate, the little carp\’s approach surprised us: \”We are still too young, even if we lose this time.\” How can we admit defeat? Most of the education we have received since childhood is to persist, persevere, never admit defeat, and then move towards success magnificently. But if the little carp keeps insisting, will it succeed? Not necessarily. Little Carp\’s decision to admit defeat was made after many attempts and analysis of his own abilities. This is not cowardice, but bravery. Isn\’t it courage to admit defeat? Maybe some parents think that not giving up is a quality worth showing off. Indeed, strong children have a strong sense of honor and self-motivation, and are highly motivated to do anything. But if you become \”worried about gains and losses\” because you want to be strong, you only want to win but cannot accept losing, and you even show strong jealousy and hostility towards the winner, then you become a loser. Wanting to win is a characteristic of successful people; being unable to lose is a common problem of losers. How to make children face up to winning and losing? 1. Let your children have the experience of failure. Don’t blindly accommodate, blindly let your children win, and blindly compromise just because you love your children. When a child is depressed or cheating because of losing, take the opportunity to tell the child that the road to growth is inherently mixed with wins and losses. Losing now is just a game, and you will encounter greater challenges in the future, which requires you to be mentally strong. And the rules of the game are like this. If you lose, there is no shame. Only those who persist after entering are brave and strong children. 2. Parents should also correct themselves\”Win-lose concept\” and don\’t put too much pressure on your children. Give your children appropriate incentives. If you always emphasize to your children \”to be number one\”, \”to get ahead\” and \”to honor your ancestors\”, on the surface it may seem like you are motivating your children, but in fact, the potential pressure is even more unbearable for your children. Everyone has wins and losses. If a child loses, parents should encourage and support him with more love, accept failure, and learn with an open mind. Only then can he grow. This is also the inner spirit and power of this book! It is difficult for parents to convey the concept of winning and losing to their children. If they tell their children this simple yet profound story, the effect may be achieved easily. Secondly, this is also a book that helps children deal with their anger correctly, and is about love and respect. When parents share this picture book with their children, let\’s carefully experience the whole process of pouring out anger together, and don\’t just let the children experience it on their own. Let’s sort out the process again: Pouring the flag ☞ Losing control of anger ☞ Being asked to calm down by mother ☞ Finding an outlet for emotions in fantasy ☞ Experiencing the failure of the little carp jumping over the dragon’s gate ☞ Realizing that it doesn’t matter if you lose, gathering strength to start over again ☞ Anger Eliminate ☞ Return to reality ☞ Her parents opened their arms of love to her. The whole process is the process of children internalizing their own anger. I have to admire the author\’s deep understanding of children\’s psychology and the use of such a clever fantasy to dispel the anger. This reminds me of when I was a child, when I had conflicts with my parents, I would hide in the attic alone, fantasizing about running away from home and living freely in an imaginary world… When the fantasy ends and I return to reality, the sadness disappears. Let\’s look at how the parents handled the situation. They didn\’t interfere in the whole process. They didn\’t say \”You can\’t do this\”, they didn\’t say \”be good, be obedient\”, and they didn\’t try to coax her. Instead, let her scream and cry loudly. This is actually the best expression of parents\’ emotional acceptance of their children. \”Child, you have the right to be angry, and I believe you have the ability to handle your emotions.\” Finally, I have to sigh. I like the ink painting style of this book so much. It breaks the painting techniques dominated by foreign picture books and uses Chinese ink painting. Pigments, China\’s unique philosophical charm and children\’s perspective, children read the story, immerse themselves in it, appreciate and feel the beauty. Under this influence, the sense of beauty is also cultivated subtly. Finally, thank you to teachers Bao Dongni and Yu Hongyan for bringing us the original Chinese picture book \”The Little Carp Jumping over the Dragon Gate\”